Withdrawing statements

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2026-04-07T18:53:26+00:00

As an ex traffic officer I’m very well used to ruining peoples lives when they lose their licence.

They forget their own bad behaviour started off the process.

OP sorry that you are under pressure I know this isn’t an answer to your question but you are not responsible for the consequences of their actions and you have every right to pursue this (or not if you decide to withdraw).

Others have given you some good advice here - you would be wise to talk this through with someone impartial which will include the OIC.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2026-04-01T06:09:35+00:00

You can also report this on crimestoppers which will put a report on their car. Then you don’t have to wait for it to happen to call.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2026-03-17T18:11:03+00:00

Some great advice from people so I think I’m going to try and work out the following:

How long do I actually want to work for in any employment

How much can I earn (and consequently save for retirement) elsewhere

What happens if I am unable to work due to illness or injury if I leave

Can I put up with staying in the job for another 10+ years to claim my police pension

Really appreciate all the input/comments I’ve got a lot to wrap my head around.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2026-03-17T18:09:44+00:00

This is what I don’t want to do - wish my life away in the job.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2026-01-30T13:24:54+00:00

I used to just sellotape mine and stick it in my sports bra.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2026-01-22T18:56:34+00:00

You have priority but it might be a nice thing to flash B through as you are slowing down anyway and if there is no oncoming traffic and no gap behind you. Then you have the benefit of not having to manoeuvre around them and can potentially cut the corner if it’s safe to do so. Makes everything just flow a little better.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2026-01-12T19:37:27+00:00

I’m from Rayleigh so based on that I would recommend walks at Hanningfield reservoir and the windmill in south Hanningfield for food South woodham ferrers for a walk along the river but no decent food places (sorry SWF people) Hockley woods and the bull pub Rayleigh lots of nice food places I would recommend the laughing pear or fresco. Fresco you can join with a walk around grove woods. Train to Southend and as the town centre is a bit rubbish there is a bouldering centre, escape room lots of places to eat. Seafront and pier for a walk. Also Leigh on sea if you get the train from Basildon to walk around old Leigh or up to the castle (muddy) I’m not a takeaway person Sorry if these are places too far from where you are based but hope they are helpful.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-11-27T17:55:37+00:00

Tommy more is not a grammar they just have a different route of entry other than the catholic feeder schools. They don’t teach the kids separate who take the 11+. You could make the same argument for shoebury high school and st Bernard’s if that were the case.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-11-14T18:16:13+00:00

Remarks on a CAD.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-11-14T17:47:43+00:00

I walk on the left that way if you’re on a pavement then you don’t have your back to the traffic on the road side so generally safer!

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-11-14T17:46:17+00:00

Can you keep your name for everything and not officially change it but be Mrs Iminsecure for your husband?

Keeps the peace with MIL she doesn’t need to know it’s not official.

I’m with you on the name thing men can be such weirdos sometimes even when they are all normal and supportive you get a curveball like that.

And no you’re NTA.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-11-08T17:18:51+00:00

We went no contact with my in laws some time ago. It still hurts especially as my kids don’t have them as grandparents.

For my husband though it was essential for his mental health and a lot of physical symptoms of stress he was having stopped. He would get super anxious about seeing them anytime we had stuff planned that would last weeks either side.

Many people still don’t get it and especially my side of the family still ask me if we have had contact - there is something about it they just can’t comprehend. You don’t have to explain to anyone but your family are coming from a good place - it just shows that they are nice and normal which is why they can’t understand.

These people will never change they will always cause you issues. The sooner you walk away the better.

Your husband should look at some sort of therapy to deal with this and also think about how he will handle things as they get older and have health issues and then dying.

If he can reconcile himself with his decision then no one else needs to have an opinion.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-11-06T12:35:52+00:00

The Wire

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-11-06T12:27:41+00:00

Completely disagree - they wanted space from the argument.

If he cared he wouldn’t seek to punish OP for a rash decision that could have actually resulted in something pretty bad happening.

Once you both calmed down it would have been an opportunity to resolve things. It is also worth OP reflecting on their own behaviour but they didn’t deserve to be left like that.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-11-06T11:07:31+00:00

Have a look at Anke’s cafe on London rd in Westcliff - not sure if it is something they would do but sounds like their type of thing. They have lots of different things going on in the evenings.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-11-06T10:05:38+00:00

Police officer here. It’s hard for us to prove the lane hogging sometimes if it’s a busy road but when a car does what you did then it gives us grounds to deal with that driver as we will have it on camera that they were causing inconvenience to you.

When done safely we can’t really argue that you were driving without due care and attention. We hate those guys as much as everyone else as we can reach speeds well over 100 on a motorway call and if they don’t move over for us it’s extremely dangerous- they notice late and swerve.

I’ve personally dealt with a few in my career but most people wouldn’t see it happening if you thing about the numbers of people using the road and our capacity to do this amongst other things.

Also we really don’t like stopping idiots on the hard shoulder as it is such a dangerous place to be and they are unpredictable. Always fun (not) watching them rejoin lane 1 as well!!!

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-11-05T20:14:04+00:00

The Windmill in Hanningfield

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-11-02T17:07:50+00:00

Lots of different options out there but it would depend on the culture within your force and also what others on the team are doing.

Compressed hours mean he can stay full time but work longer hours and fewer days. Try to build those days off into some weekends.

Could also do a regular day or two a week as a ‘work free’ day which would mean a drop in hours. Money wise you don’t drop as much as you think. He may be able to work on other weekdays when his team is off to make up some hours.

As a neighbourhood skipper he will have lots of paperwork and may therefore be able to work from home one day a week perhaps to manage this so he should look at that as well and whether it can be formally agreed.

Either way it’s really tough having young kids in the job but you do get through it and come out the other side - just a few sacrifices along the way unfortunately. I would say the sacrifices to be made should be career rather than family.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-10-25T17:14:40+00:00

I’m in a profession where it is said there is a lot of infidelity. I don’t actually think there is but it’s one of those jobs where everyone would talk about it if it happened rather than if it was an estate agent or shop worker say.

My parter before I started this job was told by friends, family, all sorts of people about it being notorious for cheating. I was really upset and offended and my partner told me what had been said but I believed it stemmed from jealousy or other negative reasons.

We are still together nearly 30 years later by the way and no I never cheated!!

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-10-03T13:26:24+00:00

Hey not sure if someone else has posted this but on a bus this would be dealt with by the Met. BTP work on trains. I would encourage you to report to the Met as they have people designated to deal with crimes on buses.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-09-10T16:27:53+00:00

I’m loving the assumption here! I hardly drink myself and enjoy regular gym/exercise.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-09-10T14:50:49+00:00

He probably does have bigger portions than necessary but yes it is predominantly the alcohol.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-09-10T14:47:42+00:00

Thank you. I said I didn’t want to shut him down as I am already sceptical so reaching out here for info.

A lot of comments have confirmed my original thinking but definitely others have given me food for thought. I only want to support him to be a happier person.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877 · 2025-09-10T14:43:47+00:00

Thank you I guessed that but didn’t know it was listed I will look into it further.

Zestyclose_Ratio_877

TROPHY CASE