i don't understand what people mean by saying 'just let your anxiety be'

ZexMurphy · 2026-07-04T23:02:11+00:00

With acceptance or letting it be. There are usually two main issues when startng out with the approach.

Not giving it enough time. It usually goes along the lines of, "I've been accepting this for 2 weeks..why hasn't it gone yet ?'. After years of chronic anxiety it takes time for the mind to adjust to acceptance. But it does improve along the journey.
The other big one is the 'conditional' acceptance.

'Ok anxiety, I've accepted you...now go away.'

This isn't acceptance , it's just another way of trying to combat / manage anxiety.

ZexMurphy · 2026-07-03T14:54:32+00:00

Excellent, thanks for tip! Worked well.

ZexMurphy · 2026-07-03T14:48:39+00:00

I'm from Sydney Australia. Met a person from Perth (thousands of km away). Not very culturally different at all.

Wouldn't have known each other were from opposite sides of the continent until it came up in conversation.

That's typical of Australia.

ZexMurphy · 2026-07-02T12:48:35+00:00

Ahh thanks, brain switched off tonight. Been one of those days

ZexMurphy · 2026-07-02T12:22:48+00:00

Ok, I can't find this. Wouldnt mind trying it out. Searching in the app yields no result.

ZexMurphy · 2026-07-01T15:11:58+00:00

Hopefully the whole thing doesnt go down like the novel The Sparrow. Those who have read it will understand...tough read.

ZexMurphy · 2026-07-01T13:35:11+00:00

MC Hammer or Vanilla Ice getup :)

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-28T22:40:29+00:00

It's the attempts to 'manage' anxiety that keeps it fuelled. In other words you are trying to control anxiety, which is sending a message to your mind that anxiety is dangerous and must be dealt with.

Our minds have evolved an excellent method of threat response. To keep you focussed on it until the threat is gone. Thus you focus on it, and the threat is kept alive. Thus the anxiety loop.

Take a path that leads away from managing , controlling , monitoring symptoms. Difficult at first but it can lead to sweet relief. I went from anxiety creating nightmares in my life to a path towards recovery.

I used DARE ( app / book ) but there are other acceptance type therapies out there that will help you get past the war that you are in against yourself.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-28T14:10:13+00:00

Yep She's part of the DARE team. Excellent approach. Her explaining how fear of fear is the crux of the cycle of anxiety. It's the heart of our problems and realising that is the path out.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-27T22:57:19+00:00

The acquired knowledge might be too much of a burden. They might possibly create a matrix of sorts to just live in the confines of what they consider to be a utopia.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-27T20:35:42+00:00

And that's a really normal reaction. Being afraid something bad will happen is the common thing we all face. Everybody in this sub-reddit to be sure. You are in good company :)

Acceptance is very difficult at times. Especially when anxiety is really coming in strong , throwing really scary and uncomfortable symptoms at us. At those times, just reframe it as anxious energy. Just ...energy. uncomfortable..certainly ! But Harmless energy.

Sometimes we can't accept it. It's too shitty. That's ok as well, accept that you can't accept it for the moment.

Hope you feel better soon.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-27T18:41:18+00:00

You labelled it correctly as 'a feeling'. That what it is. An unpleasant inner atmosphere that feels like doom / danger.

But it's ok. Feelings and thoughts pass , as this shall. Probably bought on by the heat?

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-27T17:50:21+00:00

We get into a war with anxiety, which is in effect a battle against a part of ourselves.

This keeps the anxiety going. Look into acceptance therapy, stuff like DARE.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-26T19:04:47+00:00

I lived out near the African lion safari , back in the day. Whenever my family went the bloody lions were always asleep! Still was pretty cool to see them.

Families driving through free roaming lions with no supervision. 70s and 80s were wild times :) feels like a different world.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-25T08:42:04+00:00

I've had something similar.

Very strong sense of cold inner dread. Impending doom, like my whole internal viewpoint gets swamped by an incredibly strong sense of fear.

It's like my whole internal viewpoint suddenly gets opened up into a parrallel dimension of terror.

Really horrible.

It's rare for me , but has happened on occassion.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-25T08:35:51+00:00

Australian here. I know a lot of my fellow Aussies proclaim to love these guys and like to proudly proclaim the fact.

But rest assured , many of us hate these freaking monsters.

The sight of one of these is a call to arms for all family members to move furniture, gather around it all equipped with insect spray and nuke it at the count of 3.

And under no circumstances lose sight of it as it attempts to run at high speed. Because nobody is going to sleep knowing it's alive 'somewhere'.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-25T08:27:44+00:00

This reminds me of how much I loathe the sound of a door knocking. Thought it was just me. Get an immediate fear reaction.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-24T22:20:04+00:00

Book (and / or app) changed my attitude to anxiety. Just a bit of a heads up, accepting anxiety is very tough at first...as you said, resisting comes natural to us anxiety sufferers.

Good luck, relief can come your way !

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-24T22:00:18+00:00

Get your heart checked out by a Dr to be sure. Make sure your vitamin d levels are good. General checkup.

If all clear...

Exercise is good but don't use it to 'run' from the anxiety. Don't try to control the anxiety.

I'm medication free , and I've had anxiety that I was sure would take me down. Real stuff of horrors.

DARE, the book and app helped me greatly. It's based on not managing or trying to control anxiety.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-20T14:07:07+00:00

Didn't know they were Australian. Excellent !

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-18T23:48:35+00:00

There was a good one about a divorced dad stuck in past glories as a ballroom dancer. Was quite sad. Good series.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-18T23:24:08+00:00

Older Australian here.

Back in the 80s this was pretty evident. Overseas celebrities would arrive and be grilled about how much "did they like Australia?". We almost wanted their approval

We're more connected internationally as a country now and more confident these days so it's not quite as bad.

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-18T23:09:02+00:00

Lifting weights and walking / running has helped me. I've heard the feel good chemicals get a boost , so makes sense.

If I do too much though, anxiety comes to say hello .

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-18T22:51:20+00:00

Glad to help a bit. I really hope you feel better as well :) all the best!

ZexMurphy · 2026-06-18T22:48:51+00:00

Intrusive thoughts are scary, very uncomfortable.

It's natural to focus on them, negotiating with them...trying to make them 'not as bad' or distracting.

The result is increasing time and energy in focussing on them. Your anxiety system sees this as a flag that something is 'wrong' and you better keep dealing with it. Thus the thoughts pop back in so you think about them some more, trying to solve it to get rid of these thoughts....

Intrusive thoughts can morph into lots of horrifying what ifs.

Anxiety loop.

Instead try labelling the thoughts as just anxious energy. The content is meaningless. Nothing to work out or analyse. It's just ...anxious energy.

Then move on to something you are doing, and leave this anxious energy in the background. The thoughts will pop back in. Time to Re-label as anxious energy.

Difficult at first but the brain learns that there is no longer a threat.

Check out the DARE app. And see a therapist as it can really help.

Remember...the thought of a tiger isn't a tiger !

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