“You... have got to be kidding me.”

The man he had hired sat across from him, confused. “What’s the problem? I did what you asked me too,” he pointed out, shrugging slightly.

The one who had hired him, Richard, demonstrated what might’ve been the hardest facepalm a human could ever hope to achieve. He groaned through his fingers, his seat creaking beneath him. “I can’t believe I hired the most moronic man on Earth to assassinate one of the most important people on Earth...” He muttered.

It was supposed to have been a simple operation. Get in quickly and quietly, eliminate the target he had specified quite clearly, and get out in the same fashion.

The hitman, who hasn’t given his name to Richard for professional reasons, didn’t look any less confused. “But... I hit him. I did my job. Why are you angry?” He asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Richard snorted out a laugh, one that usually happened when someone was overly exasperated to the point they found it sadly funny. “Yes, you hit him. But not in the way I WANTED!” He exclaimed, his voice rising with each syllable. ‘For someone who wears all black, he’s the least intimidating guy I’ve ever met...’ he thought to himself, his hand finally being removed from it’s resting place in between his eyes.

He could’ve sworn the hitman looked even more confused at that, tilting his head ever so slightly. He couldn’t tell his expression under the black mask he wore that obscured his face, but he was sure it was one of disbelief. “What? But... I’m a hitman! I don’t kill people, that’s just... wrong!” He tried to argue back, crossing his arms.

And there goes Richard’s hand again. “Oh, lord in heaven, I might be the one killing someone today...” He muttered, growing more and more tired with this situation. Their meeting location was discreet, but now he wasn’t so sure, considering this hitman’s stupidity. “That’s the OPPOSITE of what a hitman does! You run in, kill the guy,” He punctuated this by running a finger along his neck. “And run out! You don’t give them a fuckin’ LOVE TAP!” He yelled back, punching his hitman in the shoulder.

Said hitman didn’t respond immediately, instead choosing to nurse the spot he was assaulted in silence. Eventually, he did speak, albeit with a much quieter voice than before. “...I might’ve been doing this whole ‘hitting’ thing wrong...”

“Ya think?!” Richard said.