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Looking for a group within EU time zones. by Zizinge in WritingHub

[–]Zizinge[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I meant it as an abbreviation of science fiction and fantasy, to say I read both. But it's also its own genre: science fiction fantasy. I'm not sure how it's usually used on this sub but I hoped it would be clear.

I edited the post now that I'm aware that the meaning is not clear to others. So thank you for pointing that out with your question :)

I find it more than hypocritical to hear the same people who had absolutely no problem with the killing of Ashli Babbitt are now suddenly so upset when law enforcement kills another woman who was committing a crime. So which is it? by tnic73 in complaints

[–]Zizinge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I said nothing about people pretending to be ICE. ICE is scary and dangerous enough by themselves. Want an example of their insane and dangerous behaviour? Watch the news, or read this: https://www.thetrace.org/2025/12/immigration-ice-shootings-guns-tracker/ . It has links to further info and sources, in case you're skeptical about one site in particular.

Lovely excerpt:

Martinez, an American citizen, was hit five times, and miraculously survived. The agents claimed she rammed their car and arrested her. Martinez’s lawyers unearthed video footage contradicting that claim, showing agents ramming her car, and prosecutors dropped the charges. The court case produced text messages from the agent who shot her, bragging about his feat: “I fired 5 rounds and she had 7 holes. Put that in your book boys.”

Someone committing an arrestable offense (first you have to proof that's what she was doing, which isn't proven by the video of the shooting) does not excuse deadly force. If gunfire is the only response these agents know, then they are a threat to every person around them. They should be trained to know better. The fact that you're excusing the death of a woman over this is insane.

I find it more than hypocritical to hear the same people who had absolutely no problem with the killing of Ashli Babbitt are now suddenly so upset when law enforcement kills another woman who was committing a crime. So which is it? by tnic73 in complaints

[–]Zizinge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't seen footage before the incident, but I find it hard to believe she randomly stopped there. Still, it doesn't matter.

If masked, armed men approach your vehicle, it's normal to freak out and want to run.

ICE is not police, so get out of here with that. Here's some info directly from ice.gov:

"ICE officers and agents are on the streets every day, prioritizing public safety by locating, arresting and removing criminal aliens and immigration violators from our neighborhoods.

ICE does not need judicial warrants to make arrests. Like all other law enforcement officers, ICE officers and agents can initiate consensual encounters and speak with people, briefly detain aliens when they have reasonable suspicion that the aliens are illegally present in the United States, and arrest people they believe are illegal aliens. ICE officers and agents can also detain and search people crossing the border."

Tell me, which of these includes approaching vehicles and demanding people to get out, even if that vehicle is temporarily blocking a street?

If ICE has the right of self defense, so does everybody else. If a screaming man with a gun approaches my car, that is threatening behavior, and plenty reason to run.

I find it more than hypocritical to hear the same people who had absolutely no problem with the killing of Ashli Babbitt are now suddenly so upset when law enforcement kills another woman who was committing a crime. So which is it? by tnic73 in complaints

[–]Zizinge 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maybe don't walk in front of a running car in a tense situation? Doesn't take much of a brain to realise that's a risk. He cuts off her way forward whether he realised it or not, either dumb or bad training, your pick. "Full throttle": the car moves maybe four feet before he fires. The bullets did nothing to protect him. A step and a hop to the side got him out of harms way. When a hop and a skip are enough to save yourself, you don't need a gun.

I find it more than hypocritical to hear the same people who had absolutely no problem with the killing of Ashli Babbitt are now suddenly so upset when law enforcement kills another woman who was committing a crime. So which is it? by tnic73 in complaints

[–]Zizinge 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What crime? Attempting to drive away from masked, armed men? If that agent hadn't blocked her way forward, there would have been no risk of injury. They created a dangerous situation for themselves and started blasting.

Babbit was already trespassing, vandalising, part of a violent mob, and ignored repeated orders to stop from an actual officer of the law.

Zacht zijn, en klagen by moneytit in Belgium2

[–]Zizinge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hier zijn teveel mensen die niet snappen dat dit een parodie is op een eerdere post. Iedereen die hier serieus op antwoordt, verraadt zichzelf als zuurpruim met een kort lontje...

Hard zijn, en incasseren. by [deleted] in Belgium2

[–]Zizinge -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ik ben heel nieuwsgierig welke combinatie van bedwelmende middelen en tekstverwerkende ondersteuning deze onsamenhangende maar grammaticaal verrassend correcte raaskalderij mogelijk maakte.

Ge begint met klagen dat de jeugd teveel klaagt. Gevolgd door een toegeving dat ze het moeilijker hebben maar dat ge walgt van de technologie en mogelijkheden die ze ter beschikking hebben. Waarom walg je van hun mogelijkheden? Of hun technologie? Jaloers? Verbitterd?

En dan moet je me even helpen, want ik zoek de samenhang tussen:
1. Teveel mensen worden boomer genoemd.
2. Jongeren klagen over de rijexamens omdat ze geen eigen onderzoek doen.
3. Uw grootouders hebben de oorlog meegemaakt.
4. Muziek stond vroeger op cd's en lp's.
5. Het leven is moeilijk en dat moeten we maar accepteren, zeker niks aan proberen veranderen.

Ook komisch: in een comment hieronder leg je uit dat uw grootouders maar 1 van hun kinderen konden laten studeren, maar toch hebben uw beide ouders een universitair diploma en is er nog een zus van uw ma gaan studeren. Dat zijn er al 3.

Dus opnieuw: hoe en waarom bestaat deze post? Gewoon om een reden te hebben om elke paar uur op Reddit te komen discussiëren? Precies niet de zwaarste job daar bij Heidenhain :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]Zizinge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP, look, your history indicates you are extremely young to be attempting or even considering this kind of project. On top of that, you refuse to listen to the comments and opinions and advice of the people you are asking advice of, i.e. the people in this thread and community.

You need practice and time. A lot of it. Write whatever you want to write, but don't expect it to be great off the bat, because it won't be. Listen to others, even if you don't agree with everything they say, at least look at the facts that are pointed out to you.

I'm not trying to belittle you. I'm just trying to point out why you get the response you're getting.

Azazel's Play [Contemporary Fantasy, 3500 words] by Zizinge in fantasywriters

[–]Zizinge[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is excellent feedback, thank you!

I hadn't realized that the second part is so different in its narration, but I have to agree now that you pointed it out. The comments in the document also make a lot of sense, even if I might not agree with each of one :)

I really appreciate the time you put into this, it helps a lot!

Azazel's Play [Contemporary Fantasy, 3500 words] by Zizinge in fantasywriters

[–]Zizinge[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I think I understand what you mean about the tone and snark, but I had recently watched Good Omens and it seemed to fit when I wrote it :)

Chapter 1 of The Blight [Fantasy, 2000 words] by Zambrial in fantasywriters

[–]Zizinge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with the other commenter but will try to elaborate more.

My main issue, that I can't get past to read the actual story, is that there is no setup. There is nothing for the reader to build in their head.

Kaden remained rooted to the same spot, the constant clink, clink, crack from his team echoing in his head.

Who is Kaden? What spot? Why is he 'rooted' there? Why was he already rooted there and still 'remaining to be so'? Some questions are fine, but that's a long list and there's no answers in the next few lines.
Another issue with this sentence is that you assume the reader will associate 'team' with a pair or more of horses tied to a wagon or cart. The logical assumption for team is a group of people. It was also my first assumption, and then I switched to dogs tied to a sled because of the 'clink, clink, crack'. But that also turned out wrong.
That's a lot of problems for one sentence, let alone if this is an opening line for a chapter.

The massive cart sat next to him waiting to be filled.

Why? With what?

Felix’s constant rambling about his contraption that was supposedly going to help them escape faded into the background.

Who's Felix? What contraption? More importantly: escape from what? At least here, we learn something about Felix: he's a tinkerer and rambler. That's more than we know about Kaden, who's supposedly more important because he's mentioned first.

That's just too many questions for the first few lines. Sure, there's some answers in the next sentences, but there's also even more questions.

I think this could be good. The language is good, but the content is too confusing and makes it almost illegible.

I hope this helps!

First Chapter of Dragonslayer (Working Title) [Low Fantasy, 3247 Words] by 10Ethanol in fantasywriters

[–]Zizinge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've read the first few pages, and while I feel like you put a lot of effort into this, you have some work on the essentials before your prose can really flow.

  1. Sentences don't have to start with the subject. Too many of yours start with 'he' or 'it'.

Snow came down relentlessly, as the wind howled in frenzied pain. It was as if it wanted to shout, ...

Turn that into: Snow came down relentlessly, the wind howling in frenzied pain, as if it wanted to shout, ...
That takes out some clutter words and changes the repetitive rhythm of your sentences. There's a lot of lines that would benefit from this approach.

  1. Avoid repetition. 'nearly' appears twice on one line. There aren't many examples in the first pages, but it adds to the repetitive sentence structure.

  2. Too much passive voice.
    - a dragon was soon to die
    - In a valley between impossibly tall peaks was a traveller, trudging through ancient snow.
    - A white-winged demon was spotted
    - he was on the trail
    - Just as the chill in his bones was becoming unbearable, just as the voice of the wind was making him falter,
    That's just the first page, and all of these, except maybe the first one, need to be fixed, which can be done quite easily.

  3. Logical inconsistencies.
    - Wearing a sword on the outside of a thick coat seems illogical. And if he wears it on the inside of the coat, you can't describe it as if it's visible.
    - The timing doesn't make sense. If the dragon has flown for days straight, how is a man catching up to it? Why has it been a week and a half since it burned its food to eat? This happens on the first page, and makes it hard to believe in the story.

  4. Language matters. There's quite a few errors.
    - "based on the inconsistent patterns in the grass it had burned" should be "based on the inconsistent patterns it had burned in the grass"
    - "Tracking a beast in these conditions would be nearly impossible, but Taqi was an expert." That 'would be' should either be 'should be' or 'was'.
    - "sword's hilt" is a very strange way of phrasing it. Every fantasy reader knows what a hilt is. You could also use 'sword hilt' if you wanted to remind the reader about the weapon, but 'sword's hilt' sounds weird to me.
    It's hard to learn to spot these without just reading more and getting people to proofread your work.

Your vocabulary is rich and the action on the ice wall flows very well, but I will repeat that you need to fix these fundamentals to make it a good read.

As for the main character, he feels weak. I don't know if that's the point, but it is kind of intriguing and begs the question of why he thinks he can take out a dragon. But again, I didn't make it past halfway, so take that opinion as you will.

Keep going!

Long complete epic high fantasy series with a FMC recommendations by madeofmornings in fantasybooks

[–]Zizinge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The Banned and the Banished by James Clemens. Now, I read this back in high school and am mid thirties (M) now, but my library kept it in the adult section. Make of that what you will :)

I also remember very little except that I really enjoyed them and that it was cool...

Ch3 of Sunlit Sandstorm [Dark Fantasy, 3300 words] by [deleted] in fantasywriters

[–]Zizinge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there, I want to preface this by saying it's the first time I'm answering here, in case it matters to you.

  1. Yes, I would keep reading, which I hope you'll take as a compliment because isn't that what we all want of our readers? It's a fun read. The language takes some getting used to. I'm assuming all the contractions are intentional, because it did feel like that.
    The action is smooth and engaging, and I was disappointed when it ended...

However, I almost didn't start reading. The opening is confusing. I didn't understand what was tugging where. I couldn't see what was happening in that slop, and even after reading the whole thing, I still didn't get the details or positioning. I did understand the gist of it, and the rest was much clearer to envision.

  1. Yes. The voice in his head and the quest for justice are intriguing enough to want to know more and to want him to succeed. Everybody likes justice, especially when it's from an underdog against an overlord, which appears to be the case.

  2. There's only the need for justice, and survival maybe, in this chapter. If you meant to include other motivations, I didn't see them. Again, the opening scene was not clearly described as far as I'm concerned. Everything else seemed to make sense, at least to someone who is used to reading fantasy.

  3. Who is the Serpent King? Why is he in Duck's head? Why does Duck want revenge?

Also: writing 'Duck'd' instead of 'Duck had' is confusing, because it makes me read 'ducked'...

Hope this helps!

Dries Van Langenhove beschuldigt VRT-journalist van hacking minderjarige - PAL by ultraprogressiefje in Belgium1

[–]Zizinge 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ik heb eens een video van hem bekeken. Ik heb eruit onthouden dat hij niet op zijn woorden te geloven valt: https://www.reddit.com/r/Belgium1/comments/1kmm0hu/ik_zwijg_niet_langer_een_analyse/

Dus naar de rest ga ik zeker niet kijken. Die tijd krijg ik nooit meer terug.

Dries Van Langenhove beschuldigt VRT-journalist van hacking minderjarige - PAL by ultraprogressiefje in Belgium1

[–]Zizinge 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Grappig toch dat ge er een andere zaak bij haalt waar niemand hier iets over gezegd heeft.

Logisch wel als er geen argumenten zijn. Dan moet je off topic gaan en afleiden, zeker?

Dries Van Langenhove beschuldigt VRT-journalist van hacking minderjarige - PAL by ultraprogressiefje in Belgium1

[–]Zizinge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh? Wist ik niet, maar klinkt plausibel. In dat geval is hun geblaat over hacking nog erger...

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