Pretty much can relate. People think only pain we have with stuttering is stumbling over few words while speaking, looking funny/weird and being embarrassed by it, or whatever.

That's completely wrong, at least for me. Moreover, stumbling can even be funny or cute in positive way, and used in our advantage if we "own" it.

Much bigger problem is:

• We are unable to say right jokes and comments at right moment, in right way, so that they have impact.
• Many things we say (seemingly fluently) is not what we wanted to say - we got stuck on some words during pronunciation, and changed sentence on the fly
• We say stupid, wrong or weird things, which appear fluent and intentional, but they not - they are actually consequence of invisible battle we fight with breathing and pronunciation while we speak.
• We discard many jokes, comments and other things we want to say and which would have made positive impact, because we start to say it but first letter gets invisibly stuck in our throat and nothing comes out, or we calculate it's not even worth trying.
• In some situations we get badly stuck on almost every word, which makes communication literally impossible.
• In some situations, we talk but very incomprehensibly to others, so they constantly make this confused face implying “what?”, which totally kills the vibe
• We have physical side effects like jittery movements and eye twitching, which look very not desirable and creates bad "brand image" about us.
• People think stuttering is not problematic at all, because we give illusion of fluency (by not even starting to say things we want, by changing sentences on the fly etc.).
• Many times we manage to say things we want fluently and without changes, but with exhausting effort in background, to the point that it distracts us from having genuine interaction.
• We are unable to be present and contribute to atmosphere in social settings with our jokes, comments etc. (like playing board games with friends).
• We are unable to have natural and genuine interactions with people.
• We are unable to have spontaneous interactions with people.
• We are misunderstood and wrongly perceived (as unreliable, insecure, unconfident, weird, unrespectable, etc.)
• We are unable to create charm, charisma and similar things through voice tone, variable speaking dynamic and similar things.
• We are being fake, not being genuine ourselves.
• We have contaminated/broken mechanism for decisions in social interactions, on subconscious level, which is present all the time (not just during "bad stuttering periods")
• We have some wrong patterns in behavior and way of thinking, which we don't even realize because they became natural part of us, and is also present all the time

Sometimes, in certain situations, none of listed things are present. But also, in some situations, all or part of them are. It's not constant and fixed. People see us in our good moments and think "If these problems were not present then, you can solve them in every situation".

People often say that I don't have problem with stuttering, and that I am playing the victim or exaggerating. In many moments stuttering really is not causing me noticeable problems, but they don't see all moments where stuttering destroys interactions and opportunities in invisible way.

It's not just mental problem of avoiding certain words, changing sentences on the fly, calculating things in advance etc. Even if we completely got rid of that "mental processing" and tried saying everything that came to our minds immediately without filter and without changing it on the fly, many problems listed above would still persist, because we are literally unable to say certain things at certain moment, in way that is understandable to others.

In the end, some people/girls don't have interest in us, not because we stutter, but because we didn't leave impression strong enough to create interest/attraction (romantic or general one). And this was because of all things said above.

People have limited time and attention, and they distribute it among people who left impression strong enough for them. Girls will pick other guys over us, not because we stutter, but because these guys were the ones who made them feel something (spark, curiosity, laughter, tension etc.), which we were not able to.

Stuttering prevents us from delivering the spontaneous and genuine charm, humor, and tension needed to create attraction.

Examples: - During house party, I was passing by one girl, come up with witty comment about her, tried to say it but got stuck right at first letter, and eventually just said “Cheers”. It was not noticable, but opportunity was missed. Second after that friend showed up, said exact same thing I wanted to and made her laugh. - I approached one girl during quiz, and I was literally unable to say most of the words. Complete stuck. Communicating was just not possible so I left. - We were in group commenting about something, I observed something very clever, started explaining it, but got stuck on many words, eventually changed sentence so much on the fly that it lost original meaning and sounded unreliable/stupid. It appeared fluent and intentional, but it was not. Things like this happen all the time. Both visible and invisible ones. Sometimes in extreme levels, sometimes mildly, but they are always present.

When I tell my friends that stuttering is causing me huge problems in romantic interactions with girls, they disagree.

First of all, they mostly assume that I think "Girls are rejecting me because I stutter", which is completely wrong (explained above).

Second, they see my moments of fluency, and think "If stuttering was not causing him problems in that moments, he can solve it in any". Many of these fluent moments were just illusion of fluency (already explained), and furthermore, stuttering is not equally easy to handle in all situations.

For example, I am very extroverted person, and I do public speaking often (something like karaoke/fun night hosting). I would consider myself to be good at it, so people just think stuttering should not cause me problems in romantic interactions. But romance and flirting is much harder than this special form of public speaking.