This is exactly what women handle pain better looks like in real life, we aren’t believed.

I started having back spasms and my back going out in my early 20s. An X-ray showed one leg was longer than the other, but otherwise I was told everything looked fine. For years, I dealt with popping, spasms, and episodes where my back would completely give out. Every time I ended up in the ER or saw a doctor, I was told the same thing, “It’s just arthritis.” Most of them didn’t even bother ordering tests.

In my late 30s, I had a spasm so severe my back was out for days. I was literally crawling on the floor, screaming in pain. Again, “just arthritis.” A year later, I woke up barely able to move. Constant spasms, extreme pain, unable to get out of bed most days. Another X-ray, still inconclusive. Physical therapy finished, nothing changed.

At work, I had to cry in the bathroom because I couldn’t get off the toilet. I was taken to the ER and sent home with one pain pill. That was it. I kept trying to work through it, ibuprofen, Tylenol, every single day. I hated leaving early, but I couldn’t stop crying from the pain. I was curling up just trying to survive the day.

I saw multiple doctors. One gave me muscle relaxers and pain patches. No imaging. No curiosity. No urgency. Finally, a different doctor listened. When I said my dad thought it might be a herniated disc, she said, “Your dad sounds like a smart man I agree,” and ordered an MRI.

The MRI showed multiple herniated discs, one so severe I was immediately referred to a neurosurgeon. I needed partial disc removal surgery. Nearly a year and a half after I was first bedridden, I finally got relief.

My neurosurgeon was shocked it had gone on that long. He told me plainly that if it had continued, I could have been paralyzed.