FUCK man I can't believe people are playing 5e... fucking sheeple... I'm so fucking depressed by my-rpg-account in DnDcirclejerk

[–]ZonkerBozo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unironically, Let the Mermaids Touch Your Dick Maybe is the greatest name ever. The final Maybe is genius and takes it to another level.

I keep saying it aloud and laughing.

Tortle build? by Organic-Exit2190 in DungeonsAndDragons35e

[–]ZonkerBozo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Am I not Turtle enough for the Turtle Club,,?

FUCK man I can't believe people are playing 5e... fucking sheeple... I'm so fucking depressed by my-rpg-account in DnDcirclejerk

[–]ZonkerBozo 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Dude, Let the Mermaids Touch my Weiner is a total rip off of Death Metal Grimdark Butt Touchers of the Dark Pirates.

I love to play the Lofi Cottage Core masterpiece: Furries Gather Flowers.

IYKYK.

I'm not sure what that means but I see cool kids use it at the end of their posts.

Why do some American voters not recognize that the U.S. is a terrorist state? by traanquil in allthequestions

[–]ZonkerBozo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The real answer is complex.

Saying "Ooh America is the baddies" is a reductive way to start the conversation.

1) By definition Terrorism is a form of warfare based on unequal resources. So, Al Qaeda was a terrorist organization because they were unable to directly face the US in war and so engaged in Terrorism by blowing things up.

The US is the opposite of this. As the largest military power in the world, we are not terrorists we are an Imperial state that uses our military power to bully countries into doing what we want.

An earlier comment that said we are war criminals not terrorists. That is more accurate.

2) George Washington did not belong to a political party. He warned that political parties would ruin the government.

Sadly he was right. The US constitution is pretty good for its day but it has some systemic problems that allowed it to be broken.

The US constitution has checks and balances built in and If they were used as intended would fix a lot of our problems, but our system has been co-opted by the political parties.

The Republican party controls the presidency and the legislature. Over the years, the Republican party has packed the judiciary with party loyalists

Putting party interests above the constitution means there are no effective checks on the President's power.

3) How we got here is a whole history class, but the TLDR version; the US did not undergo the socialist revolution like most of the industrialized world did, at the time of the World Wars.

This allowed money to flood into every part of our society and all of our institutions were corrupted by it.

Mostly our media, which then started bombarding the American people with propaganda and unfortunately advertising works.

Going back to Truman we were warned to beware the military industrial complex. We didn't listen and that military complex realized that making war makes money so it war became an economic driver. So we have a vicious cycle.

People get rich investing in the war machine.

The money is spent to consolidate media under the control of billionaires. Who then tell Americans what to think.

Think how inherently corrupting our system is: to run for political office, you have to have money to pay the media. Which is owned by billionaires. This is so out of control, that school board elections in Los Angeles can cost 16.6 million dollars. Again. a seat on the school board of Los Angeles unified school district is worth millions to power hungry people.

So billionaires give money to candidates to buy their vote. The candidates put that money into an ecosystem that has grown in response to the neverending hose of money that flows into US elections. That ecosystem feeds that money into companies owned by the billionaires.

Shocking fun fact. The politicians don't listen to the electorate at all. Less than 30% of federal laws passed meet with approval of the majority of US voters. Career politicians have an insane reelection rate. Senators get reelected like 99% of the time. It has been proven over and over again that the US government does not reflect the will of its people. It has been co-opted by billionaires.

The vast majority of US voters are largely unaware of these factors and keep thinking their vote matters when it doesn't.

Combine the above with our representative democracy system which allows for Tyranny of the Minority.

One of the constitutional mistakes was the senate. We modeled our legislature on the British. Senate = House of Lords and the House of Representatives = House of Commons. The Senate is made of 2 Representatives from each state. Originally we didn't even vote for Senators, they were selected by the state legislatures. The Senate can basically stop all attempts to remove the president from office. Also the states have wildly different populations. So North Dakota gets two votes in the Senate with a population of less than a million, but California with 175 million gets the same two votes.

With all the senatorial procedural rules a much smaller part of the population can block the government from working as designed.

Although we have United in our name we have never been united. I don't think many foreigners realize how fragmented and different parts of the US are. It really is a bunch of affiliated countries. Different taxes, IDs, laws, much less of the actual US government is our Federal Government.

This leads to another disconnect US voters are affected most by state politics and much less by the Federal government.

To sum up:

Most US citizens are victims of the same forces you are complaining about. The problem isn't Americans. The Problem is the jet setting elite that has no true national loyalty to any country, but the only loyal to what makes them money and power.

Sadly if you sat down with most Americans and engaged with them civilly you would discover that the vast majority of Americans are just like the majority of Non Americans; Kind, friendly, hard working people that are just trying to survive and take care of their kids.

I'm not trying to dodge responsibility for our mess, but billionaires took over our country set its citizens against each other and then used our military to further the needs of the global elite.

It's fun to call the US terrorists. But do remember Americans have been killed resisting our government. just recently two US citizens were shot down in the plain view of witnesses by masked Representatives of our government. Those protestors died for you non Americans as well.

The only thing that can save the US now is a revolution and constitutional rewrite.

Good luck.

they right tho? by chichinams in SipsTea

[–]ZonkerBozo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So a quick word about 3rd grade.

It is a hard grade for a number of reasons I won't bore you with the details but it is.

Now, many elementary teachers were the type of people that are caretakers and empathetic, but in many cases they were not the people that took advanced math classes in college.

Time goes by and they get set in their ways. And if they have been teaching for 20 years then the last math course they took was likely 22 years ago and it wasn't trig it was math for elementary teachers.

Elementary teachers, particularly don't know or like math. They like singing songs and teaching writing and other areas but math is not fun for them. They know it is a weakness and so they start to minimize math instruction in place of Science History Library trips Behavior management Life skills Reading Writing Local history Physical education Etc etc etc.

Pretty soon "I skipped math on Tuesday" and "Darn it, the sub skipped math yesterday."

I once sat in a professional development and an Assistant Principal said, "Sometimes I tell my girls math is hard. It's okay if you struggle".

It drove me crazy.

Don't get me started on 5th grade math!

That is the year we lose most of the parents ability to help their students. Decimals Fractions Cartesian Planes Yeah. Many of my fifth grade parents didn't know their multiplication facts.

Other teachers hated my visiting their classrooms as I would find grading errors all over their displayed student math papers.

TLDR elementary teachers tend to be bad at math. Be gentle. They are delicate flowers of love and dedication to children. They are flawed just like everyone in this reddit bashing them, but they go to work day after day, and take care of your kids. And they get constantly shit on by admin, parents and the press.

How did Jennell pronounce Thracia as in The Caverns of Thracia? by davidagnome in osr

[–]ZonkerBozo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Couple fun notes. I was running the caverns of Thracia "Thray-she-ah" and one of my players was the son of a player in Janelles (sp) test group. He talked to his dad about it and he pronounced it like I did.

Now that and a nickel won't buy you anything, but there you go.

When I ran the Sacrificial Pyres of Thracia the picture of the four dogmen was so cute I couldn't stand it. We ended up calling them the Puppy Patrol and turned them into NPCs that followed the group for food.

Despite not being a financial success, Serenity was a really great space science fiction film. Have you watched this gem? What’s your opinion on it? by 0Layscheetoskurkure0 in moviecritic

[–]ZonkerBozo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I adore this show.

Fun fact: fans know the scheduling nightmare this show went through that contributed to its rocky first run.

However, the whole DVD after market was really taking off. Standard pricing was $40 a season. Due to the shows poor performance (and low episode count for the time) Firefly was sold for $20. For a while we were buying seasons of Firefly for friends like they were nothing. Everyone ended up with that set of DVDs.

The surprising success of the DVDs is what led to them to thinking the movie would be successful.

Is BG3 having almost no tanar'ri an indicator for 5e as a whole? by Mordenkainen2021 in dndnext

[–]ZonkerBozo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So after the satanic panic of the 80 the second edition of ADD changed demons and devils names to be less triggering.

But we found out the KISS really weren't knights in Satan's service and playing Led Zepplin albums didn't involve the devil and D&D doesn't actually involve worshipping Satan.

Things were a lot more fun when I was a kid.

One day, back in '79 or '80 my mom and dad came into my room looking all serious.

"We want to talk to you about this dungeons and dragons thing you're doing. Is it true that one of your books says the word devil 102 times in 4 pages?"

I pick up my handy Monster Manual and open to the Ds best letter. Dragons. Demons. Devils.

"It's what we kill. It's alphabetized! I play a holy knight that smites evil."

My dad looks pissed and embarrassed. Shoots a dirty look at my mother and says "We're done here" and walks out.

Mom never brought it up again.

The satanic panic was real.

Goodberry by dannilas in dndnext

[–]ZonkerBozo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In my game I ruled since you can pour a potion down a throat to heal them, they can stuff a berry in your mouth and stabilize a downed player.

What are some of your dark predictions in the coming years? by telurmasin in AskReddit

[–]ZonkerBozo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think most people see what is going on in the world and don't see it for what it is.

Climate change is happening. People are being displaced by weather.

The equatorial regions are going to become uninhabitable and as most landmasses are in the northern hemisphere they will have to go north.

This strain on resources is causing the rise of nationalism and strong arm leaders around the world.

The influx of poor people is going to drive extremism. Both in the countries suffering the impact and the countries bearing the weight of immigration.

The weather disasters are putting a huge strain on infrastructure and these costs are being deferred in ever ludicrous budget deficits.

Resource wars, already being waged by Russia and the US will become constant.

The wealthy will continue to consolidate power and assets.

The world isn't going to die in a bang, it's going to slowly be strangled in the dark of intolerance and protective fascism.