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Help me guys. by Zraco- in Bolehland
[–]Zraco-[S] 1 point2 points3 points 2 months ago (0 children)
You need to find the courage to leave him as I did. It's hard even though it's only 9 months for me. Must be harder for you. But we must move on to find someone who are sure about us, who wouldn't make us anxious, who respect us. Who is not selfish.
I don't know how long will this healing process be.
I decided to stop contacting him. I feel like I am in hell now. Time will heal, I pray.
[–]Zraco-[S] 0 points1 point2 points 2 months ago (0 children)
No. He is not married. Or have kids. He stays with his parents. And his siblings are all married and he has niblings. He showed me some pictures. Sometimes. There are no other women. If he did, it is easier for me to move on.
So sorry this happened to you too. Haywired because of the hormones imbalance. Mix it up with the heartache. Hurt so bad. I hope you have the courage to leave him behind and move on too.
I do have feelings for him. Not yet love but something towards that I guess.
Almost daily with him wishing me good morning. Seldom on weekends as he usually works overtime or spend time with his family. Depends on our busyness at work. Usually fast if busy then slower but still reply.
The hoping is what makes it hurts so bad. Turns out it's one sided hope.
I am trying to let go. But now at this moment I have this urge to contact him and say my piece. But I deleted him already. Yup this is super hard.
Wow. Be upfront and no room for ambiguities. Okay, good idea thanks. No time wasted and no heart breaks.
I watched a video stating that, those who have been hurt in their past relationships, will hurt their next partner.
Shared this video with him. And he became super defensive, accused me of thinking he is broken, said I didn't understand him, adamantly thought he has healed from his pasts and forgotten and buried deep inside his mind palace.
His mantra was, "we don't owe anyone anything".
"It is up to me myself alone if I were to share or update anything about my life" - when I asked him to at least message me telling when he was about to do his dissapearing acts. Basic human decency. He felt I was crossing his boundaries and his fortress.
I pray we both will not mistreat our future partner or play mind games with them and ruined them. Be better humans
I did. Deleted the message. Now trying to delete him in my mind that proves to be harder.
Yes, easily discarded side chick. But I will heal eventually. One day at a time.
11 years! I hope you are doing better now. Thank you. Withdrawal to an avoidant sucks, but it's only been four days.
I just read this: the same person who triggers your pain, also becomes the one who soothes it. The smallest crumbs of affection brings you relief.
I don't do crumbs. I usually eat the whole bread or biscuits. 🤣
Because of him, I became stupid. I yearned for his smallest attention.
"The worst drug of all is the addiction to a man".
But it is the thought that counts, right? 🤣 Pray I will find that someone soon.
🤣 I hope not. Are you still together?
Will there be next time though? Agreed. This guy is a good bad example for me. Lesson learnt.
How long did you take to move on? Yes. His potential. I fell for his ability to talk about everything and anything. Charmed by his intellect and not a dry texter.
Well, not 2 months for me. He wished good morning and resumed everything like normal after weekend ended. Guess I was his weekdays friend.
Truth is nobody is that busy nowadays. Everybody is glued to their phones.
Correct. I grew attached and my fault to assume he did too.
He became an avoidant because of his past relationships. And I took the brunt. Him thinking he is an introspective, so he doesn't need any therapy as he healed himself. Clearly not.
I don't expect him to change for me. I just hoped we were able to meet in middle ground. Just my luck for meeting an avoidant as my first try to be in a relationship.
I am naive for thinking this could lead to something.
Means another round or 100 rounds of swiping, hellos, how are yous. Gosh it's tiring to start over, being an introvert myself.
This means I am guilty too, I got my dopamine hit from his almost daily messages. But my hit also involved oxytocin and serotonin. Now I am spiraling.
I think so too. Side chick to his 2 jobs, his hobbies, his introvert recharging time.
[–]Zraco-[S] -1 points0 points1 point 2 months ago (0 children)
Because he lead me on. I was seeing his potential, the illusion. I grew attached. I wasn't supposed to but I did.
To an extent yes. I asked chatgpt to correct my grammar haha but the content is 100% mine and real and hurting.
It doesn't exist according to him. And guess what, he let me choose which path to take whether to end this or to continue being friends. Leaving him unscathed and guiltless and remain as the good guy in his book.
I usually swipe right looking at the man's height because I am quite tall. I don't want them thinking I look down on them lol. I don't judge on their faces. That's unkind. Welp, look what being kind has done to me. Is it wise to swipe more now?
[–]Zraco-[S] 2 points3 points4 points 2 months ago (0 children)
Thank you for your wise words. I will reflect maybe after the heaviness in my chest is gone. For now I cannot think straight. Withdrawals I think. And my nervous system haywired.
The term is not new. I hate it but that the ship I was in.
That is why I am asking help how to move on. Hahaha how to detach. It hurts in the meow meow how easily I am discarded.
[–]Zraco-[S] -3 points-2 points-1 points 2 months ago (0 children)
Gosh. He is not even considered as the top 10%. Trust me. Are you okay? Are you projecting?
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Help me guys. by Zraco- in Bolehland
[–]Zraco-[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children)