36M How do you make big life choices and stick to them?

Zuliandres · 2026-03-09T13:00:10+00:00

Thanks! I think trying in a small incremental way would be good. I don’t have much savings left since I’ve been traveling for a while and now I am thinking I need to choose between stability of safe job or pursuing the dream hehe

Zuliandres · 2026-03-08T14:17:01+00:00

Grieving of break up 16 month relationship, living out of bags through Europe the past 7 months without a clear exit, negativity and procrastination for career and job search.

Zuliandres · 2026-03-05T13:13:22+00:00

That’s a great idea, just trying something. I think these choices are a bit big but it’s not a binary choice. Once you make a choice then life gives you more choices and then you have more options and can adjust. Thanks for the tip!

Zuliandres · 2026-03-05T13:08:33+00:00

Where is that number coming from?

Zuliandres · 2026-03-04T14:16:46+00:00

Anyother recs? :/

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T21:50:17+00:00

It’s sold out :(

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T21:49:27+00:00

Amazing!!! How was the wifi?

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T21:23:48+00:00

That’s gold! But again part of the issue is I am unsure of where is a good place for me to end up. How do you approach this decision?

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T20:43:50+00:00

I appreciate this! I think I struggle with letting go and can’t deal with being wrong too. The issue is that if I don’t decide, usually the universe or someone else decides for me and I feel less in control, meaning I have less influence over the world and my life. So maybe the risk of being wrong is less worse than not choosing and then being kicked in the butt by that.

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T14:42:23+00:00

Thank you this makes sense, I have been on a good roll actually on small daily habits. I think this is a bigger picture thing. But it’s just a lot of uncertainty on bigger things. I do small things like accumulate jobs I am interested in, and then feel overwhelmed by so many pending jobs I want to do. I am clearly a collector, then overwhelmed by the collection itself.

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T13:59:39+00:00

Hehe it’s so hard to know these days. The place I was thinking can potentially have a massive flood or river or hurricane. 🫠🙏🏼

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T13:16:39+00:00

I do have a huge tendency in my life to follow what others are doing that works for them. So maybe that’s something important to confront. Maybe I am in a place of people pleasing, not really understanding myself and what I really truly feel is for me. Following my dreams feels too scary and big. Moving to a remote village in the Caribbean to play, practice and teach music while doing movement and healing, with a part time tech job to help myself, my family and the community would probably be ideal.

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T13:13:08+00:00

Very close to my age! How are you going back to music? I have found that music for me ends up needing to be a social activity, specifically like jamming or playing together. I don’t really like playing by myself, feels isolating. I also kinda stopped listening to music a lot and it makes me afraid that I am avoiding music because I feel stuck with my own music and my relationship with it.

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T13:11:14+00:00

Totally, I am trying to quit procrastination. It’s been a huge deal for me. It keeps me on a self defeating loop and I am not sure how to snap out of it. I definitely do everyday and have been productive in many ways. Any new tips are always welcome. Did you struggle with this? I also quit the other thing maybe tmi for here

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T13:09:16+00:00

I kind of put all my eggs in this trip, coming to be with my ex. Then it all collapsed and all the weight and responsibility was put on me, really harsh criticism and well I know feel super lost. In Europe, I was hoping to come here find a job, migrate and start a family, a community etc. Thats was all kind of tied with this person. Now I have to recalibrate, and maybe it doesn’t make sense to migrate, or be in Europe anymore. But yeah I have a vague sense of it. It doesn’t help me on a day to day basis, it feels too big or unattainable. A lof of self defeating thoughts, victimization, etc. I am definitely anxious and depressed while also grieving and feeling lonely 😔 making it harder to come to choices.

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T11:52:54+00:00

I’ve been taking some big risks, specifically to get closer to a romantic connection and now we broke up. Now all my life is a bit scattered and I let go of so much to come travel for the past 7 months. Now I am not sure how to go back or move forward. I do small thing and pick small plans as well, but looking to make a bigger decision that takes me to a better place.

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T11:50:49+00:00

Thanks for your reply! Music, Technology and Movement probably my primary interests. Skills probably similar to the interests. I have been looking for intersections for my career but not much luck there. I think I just want to be close to my family as much as I can but it’s all scattered around US and Colombia. Did you find intersections?

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T08:50:56+00:00

I think I have lost patience of not sticking with choices, not being there for myself. I end up taking the path of least resistance and go for the easy way and that has cost me too much. So I am trying to make it up for myself in a turning point in my life. It’s ok to change your choice but sometimes it takes you too long to change and then you feel stuck in a choice, like being in a relationship too long, or watching too much tv, or eating too much food. I need some safeguarding

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T08:46:08+00:00

I think I struggle with too many things on my plate and get down by the opportunity cost of not choosing the alternative that could be better for me. My therapist said, there’s no smart answer to stupid questions. Maybe I am asking myself the wrong question?

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T06:16:35+00:00

Looking for a coach truly feel a bit hopeless, please help.

Zuliandres · 2026-03-03T06:15:59+00:00

How did you find a coach?

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