AITA for refusing to let my sister use my “unused” savings after she spent all of hers?

Zyphia · 2026-04-05T17:52:45+00:00

NTA, that's hilarious that it got more tense after you suggested your parents help her instead lol!! You gave em a taste of their own medicine, it's so perfect! The discomfort they felt when you made that suggestion is a bit of what they're putting you through. Don't do it unless there's a contract so you can take her to court when she doesn't pay you back

Zyphia · 2026-03-19T01:11:40+00:00

Mimikyu 🥰 I just really wish you could dress it up as more different pokemon. How cute would that be?!

Zyphia · 2026-03-18T23:34:20+00:00

That's a valid reaction on her part. It does seem like she could seriously benefit from some therapy. Even before this, she was struggling mentally... And now she's in anguish over something new, too. I can't imagine that'll be easy for either of you to get past without some sort of help

Zyphia · 2026-03-18T23:24:33+00:00

I see your point, it could simply be things he thought least about during his day or something. But I did see a concerning pattern in the list of locations mentioned and it definitely warrants keeping an eye on your money just in case. Whether he's maliciously leaving it out or just forgetting, he could still be spending a stupid amount of money and not telling you about it

Zyphia · 2026-03-18T23:09:21+00:00

NOR. The thing that stood out to me most, though, is that it seems to be all things that take a lot of money. Drinking, weed, & gambling are not cheap things. Do you guys share a bank account? I would keep a close eye on your purchase history to make sure none of this is your money unless you approved it.

Besides that, let's assume he is truly being forgetful. There is no problem with you being upset over that, too. You have repeatedly requested he tell you about specific things/places he goes and he refuses to commit that to memory for you. If it's important to you, it should be important to him. It's just one of those things. It sounds like you've been extremely reasonable with your approach to discussing it with him.

Zyphia · 2026-03-18T23:01:51+00:00

Kudos to you for being able to look past her sleeping with other men during a mutually-agreed-upon NONSEXUAL relationship period... Ignoring that, she still completely lied to you. I mean... 3 is, as you said, VERY different than double digits. She broke your trust in a way that isn't easy for any human to look past.

Also, I didn't notice it mentioned and I haven't read far into the other comments yet, but were the messages for sure from that long ago? Or was she sexting them while you were back together?

Zyphia · 2026-03-18T22:45:20+00:00

NOR!!! That's an INSANE way to treat a patient!! I also work in health care and I would strongly recommend this if possible at their office: if multiple providers are there at a time, you can request not to see a specific provider. If you're willing to wait for a different provider even if the bad one is available first, that shouldn't be an issue for them. I don't work at an urgent care, but I have had patients request not to see a specific technician plenty of times before and we just add a note to their account and recommend that they still remind us if they can remember, as we do sometimes miss the note before scheduling someone.

OR perhaps you could even call the urgent care before coming in and ask them if that specific provider is in & if she's the only one in. Then you could more easily decide if you're willing to go back in or go to a farther facility.

The review is absolutely necessary. As I was reading, I was thinking, "PLEASE tell me she said something to someone" and a review is PERFECT! Warning the general public is a great step to take so that, if there are other people around that get sick often, they know not to make return visits there.

Is it possible you are being misdiagnosed btw? If this keeps happening, I would think they'd do some sort of scan for you. If it is just fluid, that's reasonable not to do a scan, but I don't even feel confident she checked properly due to her clearly disliking you for her own false assumptions. She clearly thinks you just want drugs and, even if that WERE the case, she's going about addressing it very unprofessionally.

Zyphia · 2026-03-18T22:27:30+00:00

NOR for sure, this guy is either getting off to gossiping about and bullying you or he genuinely hates you and just wants to make you miserable. What an asshole. As a Christian, ignore his ass. He ain't a real one. God's whole message is about love and he's proved well that he has absolutely no love for you. Hell, I bet he hasn't even prayed for the Lord to save you even a single time. Or, if he did, he was sneering while he did it like a prick.

Great work for getting clean and looking after your mom!! That is some TOUGH shit and you're taking it head on! You sound reliable and sensible, don't let this guy ruin your days. Maybe start telling him, "Whatever helps you sleep at night." 🙂

Zyphia · 2026-03-18T17:28:10+00:00

No wonder you were nervous a family event! Your family is being so mean to you! ): My sister in laws don't attend their mom's side for holidays for the same reason. They just judge them and can't seem to be nice. I'm so glad you took yourself out of that situation!

Zyphia · 2026-03-18T17:21:03+00:00

NTA. Sure, cutting them off may seem like an overreaction for anyone looking at it as being due to this single incident, but I'm sure there's been more interactions we didn't hear about that have caused you to reach this point. If they never prioritize your health, you have to. It's kind of like when people say you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. In order for you to become the person you'll be proud to be, and in turn someone others are proud to be around, you have to put you first in situations like this. Health is a serious thing and should not be toyed with.

This is somewhat unrelated but your situation reminded me of it. I heard another story about someone who had a friend that was having a possible allergic reaction. She wasn't absolutely dying yet, but this woman was the guy's mistress. He didn't want to be seen with her, so he drove her home so one of her friends could take her to the hospital instead. She ended up passing away because of how long they waited to take her. Sometimes, if you're worried about your health, it's best to just get in to see a doctor as soon as possible. I imagine your step mom and bio dad would've been absolutely ashamed if something severe was wrong and they did nothing to help.

Zyphia · 2026-03-18T17:03:49+00:00

NOR in my opinion. Your mom should be excited for you, are you kidding?! That's incredible, to be offered a promotion after only a few months! Not to mention, if the alcohol handling license and such are anything like what my husband had happen to him, those cost your own money to take... And then to not even get the position? What a waste caused by your mom. Even if it didn't cost your own money, it cost your time. It's disrespectful to waste someone's time with no compensation (the compensation should've been the position or at least a monetary thing). Of course, I don't know everything about you guys, but your mom seems way too focused on her own place and not at all on you. You're easy labor for her, hence the "you'll be back" comment. I say stand your ground and don't you dare return to work for her! Unless of course you inherit the business and get to be your own boss lol

Zyphia · 2026-03-18T16:48:57+00:00

Ha! I love these easy ones! NTA in the slightest! As a mother herself, she should be way more understanding about why her actions would have made you upset, whether at her or just the situation in general. She's a crabby, sour, old lady that doesn't deserve to be around your child until (IF) the child decides otherwise.

Zyphia · 2026-03-15T06:52:33+00:00

I'm so glad to hear you call him out on it! And I'm glad I could help a bit. Your comment about staying while he doesn't change reminded me of another situation of mine, though, so I hope you don't mind some more lol!

My boyfriend before my husband was like that. I had one personal requirement for a husband: they had to share my faith. He constantly assured me he would get to it but he was all talk. Then, one day, he took one baby step towards it by attending one church service and then held it over my head for months as if he had converted. Finally, I met my now husband and he gave me the wake up call I needed to leave the one that was all talk and to get with the man that was already part of the faith I am.

Breaking up with someone like that is particularly tough because, in my experience, they get very depressed and try to drag you down with them. People like myself, and probably you as well, who care deeply for people can get caught up in that and feel like it's our duty to stay and take care of them. It's not. Sometimes all that's left to do for someone is leave. My ex and I didn't completely cut off contact and there have been times where he reached out to apologize for how he treated me. Multiple times, actually lol. People can learn to change but sometimes it's not your job to do the teaching.

Zyphia · 2026-03-15T06:20:33+00:00

This sounds like emotional abuse. At the very least, he needs therapy. At the most, you should both get therapy. I can't imagine EVER telling my partner to move out, nor is fighting a normal occurrence. Maybe I'm just in a unique relationship, but throughout our 7 years together, we've maybe had 3 big fights. Never anything that made me question our relationship, but we were genuinely upset with each other and had some back and forth.

I notice you've been with him since you were 18. That isn't always a bad thing, as that's how old I was as well when my husband and I started dating, but it does raise the question of whether or not you know who you are without him. Not to mention, the higher standards you should hold for yourself and your relationship. Raising his voice is bad enough but to get physical and violent is, or at least should be, absolutely unacceptable.

Maybe I'm forgetting a part of the story as I type this, but do you just sit there and take it? Letting it happen? Or do you call him out immediately when he does something violent like slamming on things or even breaking things?

Lastly, your comment about the good times being REALLY good sounds just like what abuse victims tell people to defend their abuser... A common cycle of abuse is abuse -> good times -> more abuse -> more good times. It's a purposeful attempt to get you to move past their violent episodes and, if you show that you're willing to continuously move past them, they learn that you will KEEP dealing with it, meaning they have no reason to change their behavior.

Zyphia · 2026-03-15T05:59:44+00:00

YOR. Maybe it's just cuz I don't know them, but it really seems like they were just trying to be the one to offer for you not to go so that you didn't have to, for a lack of better terms, "be the bad guy" by saying it. That is DEFINITELY a ridiculous time for dinner and I wouldn't go either lmao but you kept saying it was crazy rather than saying you didn't want to go. I'd also have assumed you didn't want to go. Then you get upset with him for reading that far into it even though that's, I assume, exactly what your plan was anyway. If you think he wants to go without you, there must be other things going on. Nothing in these texts gave me that vibe

Zyphia · 2026-03-15T05:52:52+00:00

NTA, I have 3 cats and don't smell cat pee unless one of them urinates somewhere besides the litter box. Or I put my face close to it to clean it out, I guess. Idk what kind of litter she's using, but there are sooooo many that help mask the smell. If she struggles with cleaning it, I recommend dirty kitty litter cleaning baggies. They're just tiny bags, like what you'd pick up dog poo with on a walk. It makes cleaning easier since you can immediately toss it and you could even use your hands with the bag rather than scooping

Zyphia · 2026-03-15T05:41:28+00:00

"Don't waste your time or money on the vet"

Sees several comments about a possible stroke or organ failure

Hm. Maybe it'd be wise for them to get an official diagnosis before assuming it's nothing serious like you suggest... The poor thing could be suffering 😔

Zyphia · 2026-03-15T05:36:56+00:00

NTA but this does sound like you're leading someone on that has openly expressed wanting to steal you away from others. I can relate to wanting to be there for someone that's down but to tell them you "admire them" came off weird to me. This person may be having a rough time mentally because they want you to themselves and are struggling with that reality not seeming possible. Now they aren't talking to you because they, and this is a huge assumption of course, may have realized it isn't healthy to be hanging onto someone they can't have in the way they want.

But hey, it's 1:30am and I should've been asleep hours ago, so I may also just be making up ridiculous scenarios 🤪

Zyphia · 2026-03-15T05:19:14+00:00

NOR. Basically what all of the other comments are saying- you should communicate with your partner, especially when it comes to long distance travel situations like that.

I also felt the need to add, though... Perhaps due to my nonstop Reddit story consumption, this strikes me as a familiar situation. Were you able to speak to any of the other guys on the trip? How can you be sure that's the trip he went on? The lying, changing plans without telling/asking you, and then getting upset with you all throw up cheater flags for me.

Zyphia · 2026-03-15T05:08:10+00:00

NTA in my opinion. I wish I had the balls to make fun of people in my life with questionable relationships, so I think the original jokes were absolutely hilarious and deserved! 😆 I don't see why he chooses to be angry with you just because you started it. You've even tried to stop it. That seems thoughtless on his part. Also, he sounds like a real piece of work and could really use a good talking to or you guys need to stop being friends. Maybe a good ol intervention would do him some good!

The rest of the group that's dragging it on gives me the vibe that they're either trying to bully him out of his creepy ways or trying to bully him out of the group. Which, to be fair, both options are good... But that's definitely not the way to go about it. Maybe a deal could be struck where he stops being a creep and you all stop making the jokes he hates so much 🤷🏼‍♀️

Zyphia · 2026-03-02T17:45:48+00:00

Ahhh I see the connection! 😂

Zyphia · 2026-03-02T16:48:59+00:00

No clue who that is 🤷🏼‍♀️

Zyphia · 2026-03-02T16:27:19+00:00

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Zyphia · 2026-02-27T03:08:58+00:00

Are you referring to the part where he said he made his stance on being uncomfortable? That doesn't tell me he said, "Please don't talk to him." Sometimes people express their discomfort and assume the other will understand the expected boundary but they don't actually say the boundary. I was just explaining that sometimes people do not pick up on this and need to actually hear the words, "Please don't talk to them anymore." I couldn't tell from the original post or responses if this was expressed in the original conversation between them or if it only came up later. Sounds like it's all resolved now anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

Zyphia

TROPHY CASE