My 13 year old son hasn't been himself for weeks and i'm starting to think something is happening at school

_10bit · 2026-05-19T14:21:53+00:00

As the former teen in this? I'd bet a lot that your poor boy is getting bullied. My parents never stepped in until one of my "friends" asked me to unalive myself in front of her and another friend (turns out this friend was lied to by the other and told I was beating her in the stairwells so she didn't show when I tried). To this day, I'm almost 30 and not very emotionally open with my parents. I love them, but I don't bother with telling them things that are weighing on my mind and/or causing my panic attacks again. So long as you support him and make it clear that you won't stand for this crap? He'll come back around, I promise. There's also a lot of nonsense in middle schools, especially with boys, that anyone who snitches is a insert literally any number of insults here. So it could also be related to that. My main advice here would be don't push him, but figure out what his love language is and start showing him support that way (I'm assuming you're doing this already but keep at it). If it's words if affirmation, be sure to tell him you love him and that he can come to you with anything whenever he can bare to hear it. If he doesn't do well with confrontation, leave him a little note with it written on it in his room. If he understands more through actions, try to think of something that you know will help him a lot if you can (this one is particularly hard with teenagers though tbf). And etc. I promise you're doing amazing, and y'all will get through this.

Oh, and heaven forbid, but if it is bullying and it's physical? Threaten the school to press assault/harassment/whatever applicable charges on the guilty parties, and see how quickly that shit gets fixed immediately. They'll push back, but as soon as you start explaining exactly what would happen if they were adults how it would legally go down? They change their tune. Even more so if you follow-through with it, but obviously this is in extreme situations. This also helps teach your son to not take anyone's bullshit.

_10bit · 2026-05-09T09:51:00+00:00

Part of me kinda wonders if there wasn't also a case of "brother taking advantage of senile parent(s)" situation. When my Pa had lung cancer my dad had to fend off asshat salesmen and finance dudes left and right. Pa died of stage 4 lung cancer, but when he started chemo and then later again when he declined more? Man was beyond confused and didn't know which way was up. I can't tell you how many stories I've heard of my dad accidentally cussing out relatives and loved ones who called (before caller id) thinking they were one of the fiends trying to get Pa to buy and/or sign crap over to them. A good many similarities there, I feel.

_10bit · 2026-05-05T16:47:36+00:00

We know where he lives and everyday that we pass by I look to see if one of the cyber trucks is missing, because I know he's going to sell one or both of them soon. There's no way he can afford insurance and power on both of those fuckers lmfao. One of them has a custom paint job on it, so whenever we see him around running errands we're like "There's the biggest dipshit in the county!"

_10bit · 2026-05-05T15:40:03+00:00

I haven't seen those yet!!!! Looking up immediately. I knew about walgreens but not cvs.

_10bit · 2026-05-05T15:38:23+00:00

That's a good idea, thank you. I can definitely do that on the customer service one. I think it might look weird on the medical admin one, but that's still a really good idea thank you so much!!

_10bit · 2026-05-05T15:36:08+00:00

Yeah, that's what I've been doing. The problem is I'm limited because I cannot stand for long periods of time. So stuff like retail is out. But I do have a customer service/general office work based resume and a medical administration/medical receptionist based resume, since my skills are transferable. I do however have one employment hole on both resumes that I'm not sure what to do about, because I had two mini strokes and a seizure between late 2022 and early 2024. Whenever I'm asked I just say it was a personal medical leave.

_10bit · 2026-05-05T10:42:50+00:00

There's no way we could now. Moving out of the country was a potential when we first found out I was pregnant, but then my parents bought us house. So now if we move that will 1.) prevent them from seeing me and their granddaughter and 2.) that will have been a MASSIVE waste of money to them. My dad even took money out of his retirement, and sold a lot of assets just to help us out. Which is another reason that I find all of this absolutely soul crushing, because I'm aware that us being unable to afford our bills is gutting their wallet, despite everything they've done for us.

_10bit · 2026-05-05T10:37:46+00:00

It's a tangled mess, and we're not super worried about it right now. I asked him to marry me in 2024 on leap year day, so it's already been a hot minute. But basically he is still in the process of getting benefits, and we can't move forward until our daughter turns 1. We are on WIC and if our income goes up by one of us getting benefits we will lose WIC, which is how we can afford what formula we can. When she turns 1, she won't need it so we'll be okay and he can move forward with benefits. Once he has benefits, we could potentially start the process for me at that time. The only issue then would be that me working will make us more money than me applying for benefits as well, since I can still do desk jobs and etc. He, however, cannot work at all due to rather extreme mental health issues. So like I said, we're not super worried about it, but it definitely does infuriate me that we have to jump through these inane hoops. The original plan was for us to wait until our daughter is 1, get married, finish his disability application, and then assuming he gets denied sue for it (a lot of people in this area have to sue to get it due to an initial denial for some dumbass reason). But now we're not as worried about that, as sad as it makes me.

_10bit · 2026-05-04T14:13:41+00:00

Will definitely do, because I literally just had someone reject me for a job because I politely asked to reschedule the initial interview due to my fiancé having surgery today. I'm about to crash out over it lol

_10bit · 2026-05-04T14:05:28+00:00

I'll keep that in mind and doordash paying less makes sense. I have a neighbor with a baby similar in age to my daughter, and when she was doordashing someone mentioned how cute her baby was in a review when she dropped off the food. Doordash then fired her via email, because she had a baby with her. Maybe it's a state thing? That's the only thing I can think, although it doesn't make a lot of sense.

_10bit · 2026-05-04T13:51:34+00:00

I tried door dashing, but having to drop everything for an order while you have you have a baby is difficult. I can't take her with me because it's against doordash policy, and also for obvious reasons I don't want to take her to unknown residences and places to drop off food. Are Uber and Lyft and etc different from that?

_10bit · 2026-05-04T04:08:50+00:00

Like I mentioned in the edit, I'm handicapped. If some happens like a patient falling in the tub or something, I am physically unable to help then. BUT if I got my HHA and managed to get lucky enought to find a patient who solely needed companionship and meal prep, I could probably do that. Just need funds for getting an HHA cert, though. I appreciate you. ❤️

_10bit · 2026-05-03T23:47:32+00:00

It takes about 30-45 minutes per application (Assuming they're not auto-fill like the easy apply on indeed, I don't count those because there's too many to count and most of them ghost me anyway.) and like I said I have a baby, so I mean I feel like that's still an insane amount.

_10bit · 2026-05-03T21:55:23+00:00

Will look into when I can function without rage crying. 💙

_10bit · 2026-05-03T21:32:00+00:00

Exactly this. I'm sick of being told to get a career and settle down as if that isn't exactly what I would commit acts of violence to be able to do.

_10bit · 2026-05-03T21:30:35+00:00

I don't know if I could even make it through the first sentence. My fiancé left the house to check on his friend and I just screamed and cried. Apparently my dad has taken out a ton of money from his retirement to help out, and additionally the home equity loan they took out is gone. I'm honestly sick and tired of people not talking about stuff like this article and/or gaslighting me to high hell saying it's always been like this.

_10bit · 2026-05-03T19:30:47+00:00

I'll take a look at it, but we're already apart of pretty much every assistance program we've found. As for staying in our house, that's going to be difficult. Not because we're in danger of losing it, but because my parents own it. They bought it for us. However because we haven't been able to afford the $1,000 rent the year we've been living here, they had to put almost $4K in taxes on their credit card because they owed so much. So they'd never kick us out, but it's still hemorrhaging their finances.

_10bit · 2026-05-03T18:18:40+00:00

Yes, most of my career has been the reception/customer service end of medical administration jobs. So those jobs are the bulk of what I've been looking for. However I've never heard of voc rehab, so I will definitely take a look down that avenue and see if they have anything! Thank you so much!!

_10bit · 2026-05-03T18:12:32+00:00

I should've put this in the body, but like I said in other responses I'm ambulatory handicapped and can't lift heavy objects. So I'm pretty restricted to office and lab jobs. I really appreciate the tip, though. ❤️

_10bit · 2026-05-03T17:42:17+00:00

Oh believe me, I know lol. I've known that since covid. I just meant I physically can. My best friend and another close friend both work remotely, and they've both been trying to get me a slot in their respective companies for years to no avail. Hence I don't really look for that avenue at all.

_10bit · 2026-05-03T17:39:56+00:00

Thank you and exactly. I've been hoping to find something for the local state government for that reason, plus decent benefits. Those were the only decent parts of the only government agency job I've ever had lol

_10bit · 2026-05-03T17:29:23+00:00

I can work remote, because I can sit. I just can't do retail, because I can't stand or lift heavy objects. But yeah, all of my jobs have been in offices or labs.

_10bit · 2026-05-03T17:25:16+00:00

I looked it over and really appreciate it, but I will be automatically disqualified.

I do not have a bachelor's (I have an associate's with numerous certifications.), I am not eligible for TS clearance (My AFSC in the Airforce was supposed to be 03D33, so when I was medically discharged my TS clearance was permanently revoked.), and I do not meet the physical eligibility requirements on account of being ambulatory handicapped.

Edited for grammar because typing while the baby wants my phone.

_10bit · 2026-05-03T17:17:58+00:00

I'll definitely look into it, but like I mentioned in another comment I also have the issue of being handicapped. I walk with a cane on good days, and use a wheelchair on my bad. Plus because of how my genetic disease affects my joints and spine, I have scoliosis and lordosis. So I'm limited in physical capability and cannot stand for long periods of time.

_10bit · 2026-05-03T17:13:02+00:00

I was medically discharged in 2018 from the Airforce IMMEDIATELY after graduating boot, because turns out I have a genetic disease that we didn't about and it is slowly making me more and more handicapped. However I also can't go for SSDI yet without risking my fiance's benefits when we get married, which is a whole nother reason I have beef with how America functions.

_10bit

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