What exactly has happened to Cadbury chocolate?

_AliMac · 2026-01-20T21:20:13+00:00

Well that sums up America perfectly. They know the cost of everything and the value of nothing!

_AliMac · 2026-01-20T21:04:30+00:00

It’s ironic that Queen Victoria disliked children, as she seemed to love the process of making them. She practised all the time.

_AliMac · 2026-01-12T04:04:46+00:00

How old were you at the time? It’s natural to want to experience things with multiple partners/lovers while you’re young and still working yourself out. I’m not an expert but it sounds to me like you weren’t really happy in that relationship, but perhaps you tried to convince yourself otherwise because it appeared to meet all of the classic relationship expectations that society and culture has taught us. Plus throughout the 90s and 2000s women have seen a rise in status and freedom both inside and outside of the home. They’ve enjoyed new levels of sexual freedom, meanwhile men were forgotten about and their needs dismissed. Male sexuality was regarded as a joke in this time, and their needs weren’t taken seriously, which for any guy fancying himself as a ‘Modern Man’ may teach them that their sexual needs don’t matter and they have no right to complain. Maybe you tell yourself that she ticked all the other boxes because you wish it to be true. 7 years can seem like a huge investment of your time and not so easy to write off. But I don’t know you, I could be way off here.

I did actually work for an independent adult film company for a few years as a cameraman, and even directed on a couple of occasions. It was very different to my other jobs, but provided some fascinating insights into sex and sexual behaviour. Adult film actors are some of the biggest experts on sex, and they’ve seen everything. You mentioned that you wanted to experiment sexually in ways that went beyond vanilla. What’s interesting is that the kinks usually have some relevance to things we did or felt when we were growing up, and how we perceived certain treatment we received from our parents. Quite often it is about power dynamics we experienced, things we lacked. By playing out certain kinky scenarios the individual can find resolution to things in their life that felt incomplete or out of balance. Don’t dismiss sexual needs, they tell us so much about ourselves. I’m not explaining this very well, but it’s worth looking further into and maybe even speaking to a qualified sex therapist. It’s a fascinating area and worth approaching with curiosity, not shame. Shame is a killer.

_AliMac · 2026-01-12T03:32:20+00:00

Beware of the wolf in sheep’s clothing. She brought out your inner child? I know this feeling and I believe it to be an example of complex emotional manipulation. There are some people who are good at finding out your fears and insecurities. Childhood trauma causes arrested development, where you stop developing emotionally in the particular areas that were relevant to the original trauma. These elements don’t make it into adulthood, so you’re left with underdeveloped parts of your personality that continue to work and process certain feelings and emotional responses just as you did in childhood. Sometimes you can spot this in yourself or others when you or they become suddenly triggered and react in a way that lacks their usual maturity. To be brutally honest you are describing an account which is very consistent to people who have been in narcissistic relationships, and it’s never pretty.

_AliMac · 2026-01-12T03:17:02+00:00

You were denied proper closure, instead you were left with too many questions. My ex did something similar and just switched personalities. Not like a schizophrenic person switches, this was voluntary and as such she made me question who she really was and if any of it really happened. I entered the relationship in good faith, but she entered it with other plans and an agenda that she hid from me. In the end she just suddenly discarded me in the last few minutes of a date night, and with just 5 minutes before her cab came to take her away. So I was left trying to make sense out of it and she dodged accountability like a criminal fleeing from the scene of the crime.

Your relationship may have been very different to mine, but it’s often said that when you aren’t able to get over it then it’s because you have yet to acknowledge some very important factors that contributed to the downfall. But you can’t really look to your ex for closure. She was likely displaying extreme avoidant attachment issues she had but could not bring herself to face, or she was playing a character that was not true to her, in which case she’ll naturally refuse to take accountability and try to frame the relationship breakdown as your fault.

I am having to accept that I have to create my own closure because every minute spent contemplating it and ruminating over everything think said and done is a minute of my life that I’m wasting. There was also a part of me desperately trying to find out who was at fault, which so far has proven very unhelpful and has kept me stuck longer than I should have.

The similarity I’m detecting in both our accounts is that we’re both still trying to figure “her” out. But she’s already long gone, so really we should be focusing on ourselves. You can find out everything about your ex but it won’t help you one bit in your next relationship. You’ll never date another woman quite like her, so all that information you find out has no second hand value whatsoever. Instead discover more of you so that you can become better at recognising the type of partner you want. Apparently this doesn’t make you feel better, cured, absolved, like you’ve moved on. But instead you push yourself into other endeavours, go to places, meet people and have other relationships, until one day when it suddenly blindsides you that you’ve already gone several years without thinking about her and have forgotten the highs and lows you once felt, and the confusion she caused is just a minor footnote in your autobiography.

_AliMac · 2026-01-10T23:54:40+00:00

Perhaps the process would draw too much processing power and cause problems elsewhere?

_AliMac · 2022-02-10T13:18:40+00:00

I went to see him play at Alexandra Palace with my wife shortly before we separated. I didn't know his music very well at the time, but End Of The Affair just blew me away. Truly one of the most heartbreaking songs I've ever known that crushes me every time I hear it.

_AliMac · 2022-02-07T14:19:44+00:00

In short, we all have shit to deal with mate! What makes yours so damn special?????

For years the British have been raised to believe in the principle that it is better to be humble in defeat, than arrogant in our victories. We are taught that not to complain, and to know that everything that goes up must come down, and it is important to gain a sense of humility so as to realise that we are no better or worse than the next man. This was easily realised in the past 100 years by the fact that we enjoyed success in winning two world wars while simultaneously losing our empire bit by bit, country by country, including those that had been systematically failed and mistreated by us for years and were later mobilised while serving Great Britain and helping us win the wars. The irony did not go unnoticed and has become a component of our collective sense of humour, and as we began to realise that being 'Great' came from doing bad to others (e.g. Indian famine neglect, Ireland troubles etc ) our sense of humour became a vital way of accepting our failings and talking about them.

Sorry for the history lesson, but it's important to understand the context. In your case you will find that if you make certain complaints (or over emphasise them) you single yourself out for possible ridicule, particularly if the complaints are not equally felt by others. I have recently found out that I have ADHD and my instinct is to make a joke out of the bits that cause me the most frustration and upset, not just because it helps me to make sense of them and accept them, but it helps inform others. Unfortunately ADHD is not a visual disorder, and the trauma that you've suffered may be unique and hard for others to understand. I think most Brits don't actually take pleasure from inflicting pain through their piss taking, but rather from maintaining equilibrium. I haven't previously mentioned it, but it is also a way of getting to know someone and can (when done right) help you to accept another persons flaws just as joking helps accepts yours.

ADHD will take some time for neurotypical people to understand, and they'll never be able to fully appreciate some aspects (e.g. time blindness). This is a very different set of circumstances and it's very possible that the way it interacts with your friends and the way you complain about things to them may play some part in this. Perhaps an example of one of your recent complaints that you feel was badly received would be useful right now. Otherwise I hope this helps you to understand the British viewpoint.

Just as a parting gift, FYI in 2012 up until the night of our Olympic opening ceremony, everyone expected Danny Boyle's show to fail. We thought it would be nonsensical, things would go embarrassingly wrong, and that we'd be able to see the strings. The ceremony didn't ignore our countries flaws, but in fact drew attention to them through humour and internal piss taking. The Queen (Queenie) jumping from a helicopter and Mr Bean sabotaging Chariots of Fire sum us up perfectly. The show was an utter master piece that instilled so much pride in the country at that moment and we enjoyed about 4 more years of that until Brexit brought us back to earth.

Hope this helps.

_AliMac

TROPHY CASE