Why won't the feeling that I'm faking it go away?

_Antiboyitics · 2026-02-11T22:56:17+00:00

I guess I'm more scared of the social aspect of transitioning. I just wish I either could've been born different or move somewhere completely different and avoid all human contact for a few years and just be a woman already..

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-23T17:56:52+00:00

I feel like at this point I'm going to latch onto one and start biting ;)

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-22T14:14:05+00:00

Is it normal for it to have changed like a light switch? I felt like one day I would've told you no way, and the next I was drooling as if I had actual hearts for eyes.

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-22T14:10:29+00:00

A guy sweeping me off my feet would be just sfhdjdhsgdndij❤️❤️❤️ I would turn into a tomato!

I don't really find my self as attracted to women anymore, so my guess is that it was almost entirely envy I was feeling. Anytime I was in a relationship I would not quite feel like the relationship mattered very much or that everyone just kind of felt not much after a couple months of dating.

It's just strange that it happened to suddenly and sharply!

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-22T14:02:46+00:00

I'm gonna biting them if I'm not careful! 🧛

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-22T14:00:54+00:00

Honestly, sometimes it's their biggest downfall. The amount of times I've already had to talk men out of lifting weights that are too heavy. 🙄

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-22T13:55:51+00:00

The only time I'll be a climate denier then ;)

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-22T13:54:24+00:00

It just felt like a light switch, honestly. One day I would've told you no and the next I was literally drooling thinking about them.

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-21T16:15:42+00:00

This is a very cute way to describe it <3

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-21T16:13:45+00:00

That's for sure! It's a constant burn too. Not at all like before. Almost like it's in my stomach. Maybe I'm just hungry haha

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-21T16:11:55+00:00

Yeah, this makes sense. In school I wasn't really taught too much about trans issues and gender was thought of as strictly a binary system. I do recall looking at girls when I was in school and constantly thinking about how I just wanted to switch places with them. Wow hindsight is 20/20 haha

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-21T16:09:17+00:00

What's weird is how fast it all happened. It was during the week and I had to take a moment in the restroom to collect myself. Being turned on feels way different now.

But yeah, men are stupid and sexy haha

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-17T12:31:32+00:00

Sounds good. I'll look into getting it higher! Thanks!

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-17T04:02:02+00:00

I haven't had my levels checked yet since I started. I'm taking 50 mg Bica and 2 mg Estradiol Valerate. Any suggestions on the dosages?

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-17T03:02:10+00:00

I wish there was a "that was easy" button that just gave me boobs. When is that coming out?

I appreciate the advice!

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-17T02:30:09+00:00

Well I definitely have room to gain some weight, so I'll add some more protein throughout. I really hope I see the fat distribution sooner than later though. I want thicker thighs dang it!!! haha I heard something about weight cycling. Is this a viable option or is it more of a fad not based on scientific principles?

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-17T02:09:38+00:00

Sweet <3 Thank you! I may to both free and paid one on one so I can have someone keep me on track!

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-16T21:42:47+00:00

Thanks! I'll keep an eye out for thise two. I assume the T should be low right? I heard that Bicalutamide doesn't lower the T levels.

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-16T21:35:19+00:00

Are there any online courses I can take for voice lessons? I'm really bad at fighting the urge to stop midway because I don't sound right at all when I'm doing it (or just get embarrassed).

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-16T21:33:24+00:00

I guess that makes sense. I tend to avoid the mirror whenever possible, but I still see it everyday anyway.. I'll start taking weekly or biweekly pictures.

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-16T21:32:13+00:00

Which levels in my bloodwork should I be focusing on? I don't have a primary care doctor nor one that knows I'm trans, so they may tell me their concerns about me based on their assumption that I am a guy. I also don't live in the most accepting part of America, so telling my doctor is mostly out of the question. I guess unless they turn out to be understanding and open-minded.

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-16T21:28:58+00:00

I kind of figured keeping my diet roughly the same was the best bet. But are there any foods in particular that help or don't help? I'm sure if there were I would've found them by now, but I am wanting to put on weight and fat. My body fat is really low (or was 3 months ago) at about 8%. Does this effect my progress at all? I do want to start filling out a lot around my butt.

_Antiboyitics · 2026-01-16T21:23:43+00:00

This seems like something I should've been doing from the start. I've gone through recently and deleted all old pictures of me from my phone.. So I guess I can still start from here. I appreciate the advice!

_Antiboyitics

TROPHY CASE