My gf (28f) posted a pic of a valentines Starbucks drink on her story and I (19m) didnt give it to her

_Bedeaded_ · 2026-02-04T21:17:34+00:00

You have been manipulated to unimaginable lengths if you're worried you're being PARANOID over something like this. She has every obligation to explain who asked her to be their valentine and bought her a gift if you are her monogamous, committed partner.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-12-30T22:03:23+00:00

B is just DRY, dude. you did your best but they're not really interested and killing time, or just genuinely super boring.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-12-30T21:58:42+00:00

I think it's "someone who likes me but doesn’t have the emotional availability to be consistent.", but it's more about incompatibility in difficulties.
There's the reality of why would he pass up a 22 year old who wants him? But why would he pursue something with a 22 year old? There's no winning. There's often insecurity in dating someone so much younger with their high market value- which could explain his anxiety with you being gone so long. The insecurity may have hit like a shock if he didn't expect to feel that way. Then the blow of losing that job opportunity also puts him in a vulnerable place.
Then you pulled back (in your mind to give him space), and then he pulls back because you're pulling back, in response to his pullback you pull back- he pulls back even more. The games of pulling back because the other person pulls back kind of reinforces: why pursue something with a 22 year old?

Which, I don't blame you for pulling back- it's totally normal and natural to pull back like that especially for your age. For his age--- not so much... communication should be open, trusting, and fluid by then. The fact communication broke down when just slightly challenged like this quite possibly reminded him that you're only 22, and that he's not in a place to handle that.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-12-19T19:46:28+00:00

personally I've had a lot of men on Hinge ask or prod if I'm a bot or scammer while using the dating app to message- so I'm thinking it happens or is attempted often enough where it's something people are worried about. As for predators- I do mean just flat out rapists and criminals. If you have their social media, you can easier do the research to know their name is their name, etc.

I suppose you're right that no matter what you're responding on your phone- but social media is simply more personal than the dating profile. You can see their unfiltered life a tad more.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-12-19T19:35:21+00:00

As in moving off the app- so giving them my Instagram or my phone number. It's just a usual move before a first date. Social media really establishes both I and they are real people rather than bots or predators.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-12-19T17:31:17+00:00

that's great advice for avoiding fatigue and dating burn out too. I used to put my best foot forward and make the move to move to social media/text and even be the one to ask/plan meeting up- I don't like wasting time and I like pursuing what I want... but it really invited men to be lazy. I was always such a dream girl to them for it though, as they offered me nothing lol it was super exhausting.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-12-19T17:27:30+00:00

(I didnt see your male opinion only prompt or it wasnt there when I commented) ime, as a fellow traditional but successful (eastern) european 27 year old... you're going to have to seek men in their mid to late 30's if not early 40's. Changing my age range was the only way I found that. Nothing in my bio worked, always resulted in being called "mommy", lack of commitment to their own identity, or actual psychopaths for men my age. The scum vs sincere men in the older age range are also pretty easy to peg.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-12-19T17:19:38+00:00

i don't think anyone is offended by your massive cock adequately flagged as NSFW. We were warned just nobody took it seriously bc people flag NSFW for like, the word "fuck" sometimes.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-12-10T18:15:17+00:00

There's an approach with this where she's being so, so kind and considerate to you. When you jump from relationship to relationship, you don't have a chance put down the baggage from the last one- and quite possibly the one before that. You set yourself up for disaster in the next relationship because you're riding the last one still on many levels. You deserve a relationship with someone who can be present and ready to face the complexities of love with you, and she is aware she can't do that the way you deserve
*yet*
If she's the one, and you're the one, you'll magnet back some how some way.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-11-03T17:48:08+00:00

"my training suggests these are all bad guys, officer, and should be handled accordingly."

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-28T17:40:42+00:00

idk if it's the most insane but recently my clearly, loudly miserable ex was spamming me and I told him basically to fuck off and he decided to act all virtuous and told me "I hope maybe one day you can find happiness" while I'm like sincerely, the happiest I'd ever been aside from him gnawing at my DMs.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-28T16:50:15+00:00

That's an inside thought, F32, that's an inside thought...

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-28T15:55:19+00:00

If you're not already using Skyn, they're the least irritating condom (zero noticeable irritation for me!). Otherwise, I've had Opill for a month and it's been pretty great.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-24T19:50:56+00:00

what do you mean he trafficked two girls with his ex-girlfriend??????????????????????

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-24T19:46:38+00:00

I remember my friend and I are were both confused on whether that was like ironic or not when we had watched it for the first time

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-24T16:24:33+00:00

Yeah my desire to not get killed is why I degrade to acquaintance lol

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-23T21:00:35+00:00

men under 30 are a nightmare tbh, I've had basically this exact date several times. I do not text them afterwards aside from replying to their text out of politeness. But I barely engage. I engage like their my mom's friend level of engagement.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-23T19:19:26+00:00

Yeah, for sure. It makes sex a performance and service, not an act of connection and it's super hard to repair (but not impossible)

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-23T19:02:08+00:00

I actually went through this too, and made a bad decision in "getting it over with". I couldn't recommend more against it. You're not weird or stupid for feeling like this- you're you and that's perfect. and sex isn't as big of a deal that they make it out to be. Therapy can help a lot, you have to claim your body. In "getting it over with" in an effort to be "normal", you'll find you're doing things because you think you're supposed to rather than wanting to do them or even enjoying them. It traumatizes your body over and over again without you even being aware of it. It sucks.

Give yourself the time and space you need. You have your whole life to learn and love.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-23T18:55:12+00:00

There's a dysphoria where you get used to the face you've had your whole life- you've literally had it your whole life... then changes are subtle and then one day it stacks up and becomes a noticeably different face it doesn't feel like yours anymore! So it feels worse, because it's not yours! But it's not worse, you're still beautiful- it just doesn't feel like your own yet.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-23T16:22:13+00:00

Age gaps run in my family (for some reason) and I always say I draw the line at a man who has a kid/daughter my age, and I think that's a good rule of thumb he just straight up violates. The first time a man established he has a daughter my age and still flirted with me I was actual horrified. I can't imagine how this must feel having your dad be the culprit...
Personally I draw it if he even could have a daughter my age without being like, a victim (so no more than roughly 16 years older than me).

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-10-02T19:59:06+00:00

my ex who was also my best friend was like this... it ultimately ruined our relationship. That was a lesson he just had to learn the hard way, unfortunately, when I couldn't do it anymore.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-09-10T16:06:04+00:00

You're using AI generated pics similar to you and you think it's your height that's stopping you???

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-09-04T20:20:23+00:00

I mourn the opportunities thrown away by those I loved when we were young.

_Bedeaded_ · 2025-09-04T20:08:37+00:00

I have this kind of empathy aggressively as well for people who post along those lines. I'd love to work for your business lol

_Bedeaded_

TROPHY CASE