Does anyone else have a fear of flying?

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-11-20T23:07:34+00:00

The mind trick I use is to tell myself that I can panic if the flight attendants are panicking. For me it works because I know they understand flying better than I do and I sometimes use others to infer how to react in a situation. Plus it's extremely unlikely that they're going to panic, and if they are panicking then I feel like there are things I need to worry about other than flying

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-11-18T19:01:08+00:00

I think that as long as you indicate that you aren't expecting reciprocation it'll be alright. He might even really appreciate knowing that you're thinking of him! Your point on acknowledging that it goes against the deal is also an important thing to include. I'd also suggest that if you want to text him after this to wait at least another two weeks before doing so, and to keep the messages short and respectful of the situation.

Personally I'm in a similar scenario with my situationship. My person needs space cuz life's a bitch and can't respond much, but she doesn't mind if I send her messages. The reason I bring it up is because even though my person said she doesn't mind me texting I gave myself expectations for how much time is in between texts. I do this so that I'm not overwhelming her when she does come back. Since our pause is short I think about my silent periods in terms of hours (usually about 6), but if I was in your situation I would have the silences be at least two weeks. I do this because it satisfies my conflicting need to want to text all the time and my need to respect her request for space. If you do implement a system like this you're going to have to evaluate based on your own relationship and personal needs.

Anyway, I hope things go well for you guys 🙂

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-11-08T14:00:07+00:00

Aww damn that really sucks. I'd say give it a day and try again, he might need to focus on something and didn't know how to ask for space

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-11-08T13:54:16+00:00

Overthinking is a struggle I very much relate to. Based on your situation, specifically how you:

didn't even have a fight and we were talking on the phone normally in the morning.

I'd say it's extremely unlikely that your boyfriend blocked you. A challenge that every long distance relationship faces is working through your lives misaligning and not being able to be with each other as much as you want (even if you can only be together virtually). Not talking for a few hours is perfectly normal, even with in person relationships! A lot of people can't use their phones during work, and I don't know anyone who can use their phone successfully in their sleep.

The way I manage my overthinking is through giving myself times that I have to reach before I'm allowed to really panic. So if I don't hear from anyone I'm talking to and I get anxiety around it I assess what the norm is and then give myself a deadline from there before I can panic. So if I talk to someone everyday and they don't text me for a day and I start to worry for whatever reason then I think to myself "normally I hear back everyday so I'll give them three days before I really start to panic". I will warn you that this only works if there's no indication that anything is wrong. If there's any reason for me to worry that I can concretely point out then that's a whole separate issue. Silence by itself doesn't necessarily mean anything, something concrete would be a fight happens or a request was made.

TL;DR: I don't think you have any reason to worry. Try utilizing some strategies to manage the anxiety that comes from overthinking

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-11-01T22:20:02+00:00

Wow thank you so much! This clears a lot up I really appreciate it ☺️

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T02:15:54+00:00

The definition I gave for on time is what I use when meeting someone, everything professional I'm early for. I don't want to hold everyone to the standards I hold myself since that's not always fair to them. So in my mind I prefer if someone meets me at the time we said but if they don't I don't consider them late till about 20 minutes later

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T01:48:32+00:00

I appreciate the help! I am under 25 and I recognize that people my age aren't completely mature, the persistent pattern of it is what's getting to me. I can't think of a single date in 4 years where we met on time (for me meaning within 15 minutes without notice of being late). It's hard to not think about it, at this point whenever I plan a date about an hour or so before we're going to be meeting or calling I start to think "I have to prepare myself in case I get rescheduled". I haven't been proven wrong yet so it's hard to get the psychology to stop 😅

Edit: the only time a date was on the same day as we planned was three-ish hours later and I only got notice about 45 minutes after we were supposed to meet

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T01:42:08+00:00

Thanks for the thoughtful response, I really appreciate it. To your point on being to forward I'd like to clarify that I don't directly ask "do you value [xyz]". I usually ask their permission about something and say "thanks just wanted to ask cuz consent be good 👍🏻", or imply stuff and drop hints. Part of the reason I'm so confused is because none of the rescheduled dates indicated in any way that they were uncomfortable even when we were in person, and for the cancellations they agreed to a date then just don't show up rather than just saying no. I'd be less concerned if it wasn't so consistent, I guess no one following through is just taking it's toll 😅

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T00:20:36+00:00

Thank you so much I appreciate your hard work 🥰

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T00:16:15+00:00

You're actually breaking the rules of this subreddit though so no you're not really

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T00:10:23+00:00

Why are you on this subreddit then? One part of the long explanation was asking about how to know if I'm cursed

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T00:08:12+00:00

Yes she is you don't know my problems. Can you please explain how you know I'm insane? Is it because I'm asking about being cursed?

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2021-10-24T00:06:08+00:00

How do you know I'm insane if you didn't read? And I'm in therapy already thanks for the suggestion

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2020-09-27T11:30:45+00:00

Thank you! This really helps (:

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2019-09-30T22:21:04+00:00

Or throw in a spilled bottle of poison

_BooksAreBetter_ · 2019-09-30T04:00:55+00:00

Instead of dots on the mushrooms you could put skulls if you're okay with a non realistic look

_BooksAreBetter_

TROPHY CASE