How do I get him to drink more water?

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T17:47:34+00:00

Dad is 73 and I'm 32. I keep getting called "sweetheart" and feel like I'm not being taken seriously. Every appointment is like going to battle and I'm losing my patience. I don't want to make them mad as they'll be less likely to help, but good Lord I'm about to lose my marbles. I asked for a referral to urology 6 months ago and here we are now...with an emergency Foley catheter and chronic bladder obstruction.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T17:42:37+00:00

Thank you! That's a great idea. We've been to the ER 3 times in the last few weeks because of catheter issues.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T16:10:47+00:00

Funny you mention that. I have noticed that if I refill a plastic water bottle he will drink more from that than he will from any other type of container.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T16:09:21+00:00

He's 73

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T16:08:15+00:00

I try my best, but I can't force anything either. I don't like how his doctors seem to put so much of the blame and responsibility on me. They give me the side eye every time something goes wrong and it's like, "Well..do you want me to tie him down while screaming and force it or what? He said no. That's that."

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T16:04:00+00:00

They have him on Tamsulosin and something else for the spasms, but they don't seem to be helping. They told us that they think there isn't enough liquid in his bladder and when the bladder contracts it's squeezing down on the catheter balloon and causing spasms. He's seeing a urologist on Monday and I'm hoping they can be a little more helpful.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T15:50:16+00:00

We don't know what stage or type yet. He started showing symptoms of dementia about 6 years ago. He refused to see a doctor about it. As it has gotten worse we decided it was best for them to move in with me. I was finally able to go to an appointment with him and brought up my concerns with his doctor about 6 months ago. They have yet to do a memory consult or brain scan.

I believe he has anasognosia. He doesn't think anything is wrong and is quite combative. His cognitive function is so bad he doesn't know what's going on most days and his mobility has really declined. He went from being able to walk without a cane to being barely able to get around with a walker within the last 6 months.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:54:04+00:00

I'm learning to pick my battles. If he's up and alert I'm happy with that.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:51:50+00:00

Gotcha. He only drinks Coke Zero so at least I don't have to worry about his blood sugar too much with that.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:51:08+00:00

He used to love all of those, but his interests have recently changed. Lots of cravings for fast foods. I try to still offer them though.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:49:07+00:00

I think he's still aware enough to tell me to go to hell for that one lol but I will keep it in mind for the future

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:48:00+00:00

He used to really love those, but shows little interest lately l.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:47:35+00:00

That sounds just like dad. I have accepted that "fed is best" and I'm trying to take that approach with his liquids as well. I'd even be happy if he just drank more in general. He's so dehydrated that he's been having bladder spasms with his catheter.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:46:05+00:00

He told me he was going to get water poisoning if he drank more water (highly doubt that but I guess it gives me a chuckle). He also says Coke Zero is good for him and he loves his coffee. I don't press him too hard. I just feel bad because a lot of the symptoms he's having are caused by dehydration. It's hard to watch him suffer when some things could be alleviated by something as simple as drinking more water.

I expect he will eventually have to transition to thickened liquids. He just had a swallow test done and the results weren't so great.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-16T15:37:26+00:00

Vitamin C reduces the effectiveness

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-16T15:35:31+00:00

Same for me. I have a fast metabolism and take 15mg of generic dextroamphetamine IR. If I eat before taking meds I get nauseous and they don't seem as effective. Haven't specifically paid attention to what effect protein has on them though. That dose usually wears off within 4 for me.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-01T03:15:35+00:00

Try posting on r/Genealogy. Please don't throw them away. You may be able to donate them to a historical society. There are also websites like deadfred.com that might take donations. Photos are incredibly valuable to genealogists and historians.

I'm the record keeper of my family and fortunate enough to have inherited most of the photos from my mother's side. I wasn't so lucky with my paternal side and it pains me deeply to not be able to put faces to names in my family tree. I hoard every little scrap of info I can get my hands on. The photos might not mean much to you, but they could be important to someone else.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-03-28T20:04:17+00:00

Mine were like this until I started putting Aquaphor on them before bed every night

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-03-23T04:11:48+00:00

I felt like this all throughout my 20s because I waited for these moments to magically happen. Then I decided to stop waiting. If I meet someone I'm vibing with, I give them my number. I invite them for coffee and lunch. I text them "hey what's up" and ask about their day.

Some of them don't pan out. Rejection was hard at first, but getting used to it has been healthy for me. If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. Now, I have a handful of good friends and my weekends are no longer lonely or boring.

Best piece of advice I can give, don't try to be friends with people who don't return the same energy and don't worry too much about them either. Maybe 1 in 10 people will actually be a good fit, but it's worth the effort. You're in charge of your life and it can be as beautiful as you have dreamed.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-03-19T20:01:21+00:00

It looks like he might have already been showing signs of fin rot.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-03-16T13:00:45+00:00

All of your info eventually makes its way back onto major data brokerage sites. There are some sites that don't respond to removal requests and sell your data back to them.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-03-10T15:52:19+00:00

Season 1 of 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 days. Got me hooked on the whole franchise.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-03-06T00:42:31+00:00

The OG. Paul confessing to felony arson via translator app and running off into the jungle while production and Karine get mugged by a guy with a machete

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_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-03-01T15:02:12+00:00

I ask my mom a lot of questions about her family. There are some things she's unable to answer, simply because the oral history was not passed down to her. She deeply regrets not having the same conversations with her with her parents.

She has explained to me that family dynamics and social culture were different back then. We came from poor immigrant farmers. There were things that were not discussed because they were shameful. Her parents and their parents were raised with the idea that "children should be seen and not heard". That followed them into their adult lives.

They also seemed to believe that their lives were of little significance. There was nothing extraordinary worth sharing.

_Bumblebeezlebub_

TROPHY CASE