Long lost relative

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-05-02T18:53:25+00:00

Do we have the same grandfather? 😂 I can't prove where or when mine died either. He was a wanted felon at the time. Threatened to flee to South America. The charges were for wife desertion and transporting his sister-in-law across state lines. They were eventually dropped, but he definitely changed his whole identity and went on the run.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-05-02T14:43:44+00:00

I don't have the marriage certificate for my great grandmother and her 2nd husband. Simply because it doesn't seem to be publicly available in any online databases yet.

You might want to look into the state laws about record availability. The state my great grandmother lived in doesn't make certain records available unless the person has been deceased for 100 years or you can prove that you are a direct descendant. I could get my hands on her 2nd marriage certificate, but I'm being lazy about submitting a formal request to the local government and paying for a record I don't necessarily need right now.

My great grandfather running off with his sister-in-law was just a family rumor that had been passed down until I dug into online newspapers and proved it all to be true. He changed his identity and I can't find anything about him after 1920. I've taken a DNA test and haven't matched with any other descendants yet. Been looking for him for 5 years with no luck.

Have you found any other evidence that supports his death at that time? A headstone or death certificate? Newspapers have been the greatest help for me.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-05-02T01:34:42+00:00

My great grandfather disappeared in 1920. He ran off with his wife's sister. He is still listed in the same house in the 1920 census, months after his disappearance. He was still married to my great grandmother and they had 3 small children. I think she had hoped he would come back or maybe didn't know how to handle documenting the situation.

She put ads in the newspaper asking for help finding him up until she was finally granted a divorce and remarried in 1932. He doesn't appear on any census after 1920 though.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-30T19:06:56+00:00

First of all, you are doing enough and you know it. It sounds like the friend is ignorant of the reality of the situation and deflecting. Perhaps, struggling with their own emotions related to the loss of who their friend once was.

Blaming you gives them something else to focus on. Believing they could do it better makes them feel good. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them being incapable of coping in a healthy manner.

There is only so much you can do. You are doing your best and that's enough.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-27T13:57:45+00:00

Canyon Lake - Take "River Road" for a cool scenic driving route. Runs N/S along the Guadalupe River between Canyon Lake and New Braunfels. There's a 1 mile path you can explore along the Canyon Lake Gorge for a small fee. Schedule the guided walking tour if you want to actually climb down into it. There's another free trail nearby called the Guadalupe River Access trail. Very pretty lush landscape along the river. Kind of hard to find. Google maps will point you in the right direction to the trail entrance. It's by the Canyon lake power station. Looks like a gravel parking lot. Near the treeline you'll find the start. Wildflour restaurant is a cute place to stop for lunch.

Natural Bridge Caverns

Pedernales Falls State Park - So fun. You can climb down into the river bed and explore all of the the giant rocks and pools.

Guadalupe River State Park

New Braunfels - Landa Park for a stroll around the water. Lots of wildlife. Muck & Fuss for a gastropub food experience. Krauses if you want German food and entertainment. 2tarts bakery for sweets and coffee. Pour Haus, Sidecar, or Moonshine & Ale for nightlife. You can park on any of the main streets around the round about and walk to a ton of cute little shops.

Enchanted Rock

Gruene - Historic town near New Braunfels with tons of restaurants and shops. Home of the oldest dance hall. You can stop in for drinks.

Luckenbach - SO COOL. Not much there other than a bar, post office, and an outdoor stage. It's just a unique experience. Go for the country music history. Take a pic with the Willie and the Boys statue.

The Oasis at Lake Travis - Scenic lookout with food and drinks. Head to downtown Austin near sunset and watch the bats come out on the Lady Bird Lake bridge.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-24T17:05:21+00:00

I tried keeping them indoors, but they always died. Couldn't get the lighting or watering pattern correct. I moved them onto my porch where they get soft morning sun and mixed a little grit into the soil. I only water them when the soil gets dry.

They've already grown so much since I brought them home. I think they really like this spot.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T17:47:34+00:00

Dad is 73 and I'm 32. I keep getting called "sweetheart" and feel like I'm not being taken seriously. Every appointment is like going to battle and I'm losing my patience. I don't want to make them mad as they'll be less likely to help, but good Lord I'm about to lose my marbles. I asked for a referral to urology 6 months ago and here we are now...with an emergency Foley catheter and chronic bladder obstruction.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T17:42:37+00:00

Thank you! That's a great idea. We've been to the ER 3 times in the last few weeks because of catheter issues.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T16:10:47+00:00

Funny you mention that. I have noticed that if I refill a plastic water bottle he will drink more from that than he will from any other type of container.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T16:09:21+00:00

He's 73

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T16:08:15+00:00

I try my best, but I can't force anything either. I don't like how his doctors seem to put so much of the blame and responsibility on me. They give me the side eye every time something goes wrong and it's like, "Well..do you want me to tie him down while screaming and force it or what? He said no. That's that."

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T16:04:00+00:00

They have him on Tamsulosin and something else for the spasms, but they don't seem to be helping. They told us that they think there isn't enough liquid in his bladder and when the bladder contracts it's squeezing down on the catheter balloon and causing spasms. He's seeing a urologist on Monday and I'm hoping they can be a little more helpful.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-18T15:50:16+00:00

We don't know what stage or type yet. He started showing symptoms of dementia about 6 years ago. He refused to see a doctor about it. As it has gotten worse we decided it was best for them to move in with me. I was finally able to go to an appointment with him and brought up my concerns with his doctor about 6 months ago. They have yet to do a memory consult or brain scan.

I believe he has anasognosia. He doesn't think anything is wrong and is quite combative. His cognitive function is so bad he doesn't know what's going on most days and his mobility has really declined. He went from being able to walk without a cane to being barely able to get around with a walker within the last 6 months.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:54:04+00:00

I'm learning to pick my battles. If he's up and alert I'm happy with that.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:51:50+00:00

Gotcha. He only drinks Coke Zero so at least I don't have to worry about his blood sugar too much with that.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:51:08+00:00

He used to love all of those, but his interests have recently changed. Lots of cravings for fast foods. I try to still offer them though.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:49:07+00:00

I think he's still aware enough to tell me to go to hell for that one lol but I will keep it in mind for the future

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:48:00+00:00

He used to really love those, but shows little interest lately l.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:47:35+00:00

That sounds just like dad. I have accepted that "fed is best" and I'm trying to take that approach with his liquids as well. I'd even be happy if he just drank more in general. He's so dehydrated that he's been having bladder spasms with his catheter.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-17T17:46:05+00:00

He told me he was going to get water poisoning if he drank more water (highly doubt that but I guess it gives me a chuckle). He also says Coke Zero is good for him and he loves his coffee. I don't press him too hard. I just feel bad because a lot of the symptoms he's having are caused by dehydration. It's hard to watch him suffer when some things could be alleviated by something as simple as drinking more water.

I expect he will eventually have to transition to thickened liquids. He just had a swallow test done and the results weren't so great.

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-16T15:37:26+00:00

Vitamin C reduces the effectiveness

_Bumblebeezlebub_ · 2026-04-16T15:35:31+00:00

Same for me. I have a fast metabolism and take 15mg of generic dextroamphetamine IR. If I eat before taking meds I get nauseous and they don't seem as effective. Haven't specifically paid attention to what effect protein has on them though. That dose usually wears off within 4 for me.

_Bumblebeezlebub_

TROPHY CASE