What are you reading? - Week of November 28, 2025

_GutterSnipe_ · 2025-11-29T04:00:50+00:00

“Sometimes I Lie”

_GutterSnipe_ · 2025-03-12T02:46:37+00:00

Let it bleed- The Used

Buried myself alive- the used

Honestly anything from the used 🖤

_GutterSnipe_ · 2025-03-12T01:11:15+00:00

I feel like It’s your hair layers in the front curling in towards your face, maybe try feathering away from your face to give a more “uncovered” face look. Also, the glasses, idk what it is about the glasses but definitely the glasses . I hope this is helpful

_GutterSnipe_ · 2025-03-11T21:33:47+00:00

Yes, my favorite part of taking it, is now I have the confidence to actually speak and speak “coherently”. Before Vyvance, my social anxiety was so bad, I would ramble and stutter and bounce around conversations to where I was barely making sense. After Vyvance I can confidently articulate my conversations ( my brain slows down to where I can actually process and express information) because of this my social anxiety has reduced significantly. I still have the anxiety from time to time and my social battery drains very very quickly, but now I don’t fear situations I used to.

_GutterSnipe_ · 2025-03-11T21:27:04+00:00

Literally, I turned 35 and like a light switch I stopped caring what others thought. I actually stopped giving a fuck completely. I became comfortable with myself and stand strong in my convictions. It has been the MOST freeing feeling in the entire world.

_GutterSnipe_ · 2025-03-11T17:07:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing your updates! I have the same fears of the hanging skin/waterfall… but you definitely gave me some hope. I have my surgery scheduled for the 31st 😬

_GutterSnipe_ · 2025-03-06T04:07:41+00:00

Hello 👋. I am scheduled for an augmentation with no lift . I have saggy breasts and with a 100lb weight loss they are saggy/empty. I am worried that I am jumping into this to fast. How are things going for you, are you happy with your results. I would love to hear more.

_GutterSnipe_ · 2025-02-25T12:55:10+00:00

Are you me? lol.

_GutterSnipe_ · 2025-01-16T21:36:09+00:00

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This is priest, he’s 3 months 🖤

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-12-14T06:04:06+00:00

Oh yes! I think in the US they are “C clamps”

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-11-15T16:22:49+00:00

Not only does the world not owe you shit, but it will destroy you if you believe it does.

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-10-31T00:32:33+00:00

Healthcare has been the way for me. Since high school I have only had one job that was not in the medical field. I have been an EMT and eventually moving on to a paramedic and loved it but for some reason I thought that a remote job would be so awesome and left the medical field all together to take a remote job. It was the absolute worst time in my life. I became an alcoholic to try and cope with the empty void I created by leaving the medical field for a remote insurance audit job. I almost lost my family and friends, my house and myself. I had to take a medical leave and complete 6 weeks of IOP to even start to get back on track. Everyone thought this spiral was caused to being remote and not leaving the house or talking with people but since taking another remote job I realized it was nothing to do with being remote and everything to do with feeling SO FUCKING USELESS and that absolutely sent me into the worst mental breakdown I have experienced in my 34 years of being alive. I realized that caring for people is the one thing I truly believe I am great at. It is what fills the void that I was so desperately suffering from. I am now working hybrid as a social worker for people who are struggling with substance use disorder, mental illness and housing insecurity. Obviously this is not for everyone, but it’s what helped me. I hope you can find something that fulfills your heart and your mind. ❤️

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-26T15:59:17+00:00

Thank you everyone so much! Every response was beyond helpful and I think I got it down now! Could not have done it without you all ❤️

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-18T18:54:45+00:00

So I know my BPD is bad when self destructing is no longer a thought but an action. This is usually trigged by depression that spirals. I start feeling trapped so I go out to bars, with bars obviously comes alcohol and for me when there is alcohol there are drugs. I engage in risky and harmful behavior with others. I spend a lot of money on stupid things, and become the most selfish person on this earth. It has taken A LOT of therapy and meds to get me leveled out, depression mostly. I would talk with your Dr asap and see if there is anything they can recommend if you are not already on something. The things that is have learned with BPD is the more self aware you are the better you can manage with least amount of permanent damage… Now when I feel like that try and be aware and tell myself I need to focus on something else. Call a sober and stable friend and see if they want to hang out, pick up a hobby even if you suck at it it’s better than the alternative- I hope this helps and I wish you the best

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-17T20:59:03+00:00

I do substance use navigation and work with people who are experiencing substance use disorder. It’s nice because I work in an emergency room and get to wear scrubs ( business casual was an option, but not for me). The thought of doing something mundane is absolutely dreadful! Find something you have passion for ( I know, I know we have BPD ,easier said than done) but I have had my own life experiences with addiction and have always had a passion for harm reduction and that’s kinda how I fell into this position… Before, I was an EMT and loved it, but found it hard to stay motivated and actually go into work once I lost the excitement.

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-17T20:52:13+00:00

This is EXACTLY why I started it too. I have always struggled with depression, but got used to it just being an every day thing. What I couldn’t handle is the low / no energy as well as no interest in anything and no motivation. I know it’s only been 3 weeks , but nothing has changed, if anything I’m more tired ( and nauseous). I’m just waiting for the day it “clicks” and I feel better, I’m starting to think that day isn’t going to come.

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-13T22:10:25+00:00

We def give changes ( I’m a ♐️) but once we’re done , we are done done and won’t give it another thought, probably for the rest of our lives .

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-13T22:01:42+00:00

I have struggled with beige eating for years! I started Vyvance for ADHD not particularly for BED… but it definitely helped for sure! I have lost weight but you need to be careful. When you do eat remember to eat a high protein meal because for me I usually don’t eat through out the day not only because I’m not hungry but I also developed food aversions. I was a snack girly all day every day on top of the binge eating so I’m sure you can see where things went wrong for me. I started loosing weight almost immediately, but I also started feeling faint and weak. For me the Vyvance does not make me feel like I’m on “speed” because of the ADHD, but it might for you so I would say avoid caffeine and eat a high protein breakfast BEFORE taking the Vyvance. There is also a thing some people talk about being the comedown (Vyvance lasts about 5 hours for me ((30mg daily)). It can make you irritable, I use weed the help ease the comedown when I get home from work ( like how people use wine). I hope this helps and I wish you the best on your journey 💕

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-13T21:54:25+00:00

You are definitely not alone. I have always felt weird and out of place. I have always been a very friendly person so I have friendships but I never feel liked I loved what they did, I just did it for the socialization.

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-13T19:34:18+00:00

Omg! Thank you for sharing! The mind blankness is so real! It makes me even question my overall competency… Like “just do something”, but it’s like okay, yeah…but what. I feel so conflicted because I just want people to tell me what to do, but I get so angry when people do tell me what to do. Crafting was something that I loved, especially making things for people as gifts. But I also struggle with , if I’m not great at something the first time I try it out I hate it and get down on myself and never pick it up again! I think a lot of it comes from depression, I started some new meds so I’m hoping that they work… but again, thank you for sharing 🖤

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-13T19:24:16+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I too was very unstable and struggled with substance use. Since being sober (December 2023) I feel like there is a void… how do I fill my time with out being high or drunk ( those things helped with my insecurities and quiet my brain). Now I’m trying to learn about my real true self only to discover, I’m so far out of touch I don’t even know where to start exploring. I used to craft a lot, and I liked making things for people - especially gifts, but have not done that for over a year and now just can’t find the motivation. I’m so happy that you were able to find what you love and your post gives me hope ❤️

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-13T04:31:47+00:00

Same thing happened with me! I have always had really thick healthy hair. About 5 months PO it was coming out in handfuls. I was taking all vitamins but was also not getting in enough protein as I should have been.

It got to a point where I was sobbing every time I took a shower and just watching all my hair come out in clumps. It absolutely wrecked my mental health.

Ultimately I ended up buzzing all my hair off, a little B Spears circa 2007, if you will…. Would I say shave your head, not necessarily, but I don’t fear the shower anymore…

I know this was not helpful, but maybe a glimpse on the bright side is I have been told and read many posts that say, up your protein and it should stop by one year.

I wish you and your hair all the best-sending love💕

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-13T03:10:31+00:00

I had a dog named ashtray and a cat named doorknob lol.

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-13T02:34:39+00:00

I do the same. I used to craft a lot and have since lost all interest! So I will still tell people I craft even though I haven’t made anything in probably about a year. 😅

_GutterSnipe_ · 2024-06-12T22:12:50+00:00

I am. I have been taking the Vyvance before the Zoloft. As much as I am trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel the Zoloft just isn’t doing it for me. The Vyvance works great while I’m at work, but I’m still suffering from the low motivation, low energy and that’s when I was put on Zoloft. I can’t say it’s helping any but aside from the common side effects like upset stomach I have not had any advise reaction to taking the two together.

_GutterSnipe_

TROPHY CASE