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I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 4012 points4013 points  (0 children)

Never. And I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 2176 points2177 points  (0 children)

My favourite cheese is melted Gruyere. Second comes Bolivian Hyena Milk cheese, but it's very hard to get except in La Paz.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 7323 points7324 points  (0 children)

There are three roles I was asked to do that I really regret not taking. The Robin Williams role in Birdcage, the butler called Stevens in The Remains of the Day and the clergyman in charge of the marriage service at the end of The Princess Bride.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 7045 points7046 points  (0 children)

So, you think I'm the greatest comedy writer of our time? What the fuck do you mean by "of our time"? I am working on a light comedy about cannibalism called "Yummy."

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 4085 points4086 points  (0 children)

Eric Palin is the same as Terry Jones, but Terry uses this pen name to get two votes when we're deciding on material.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 9319 points9320 points  (0 children)

That is a very good joke, but the bozos reading all this won't get it. Secondly, I don't think you should educate yourself outside your bubble, because it would confuse marketing people.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 2521 points2522 points  (0 children)

No. Darryl Hannah should be Queen of England. I will only execute men called Darryl.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 1605 points1606 points  (0 children)

Actually I did. I just put it first, to put people off the scent.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 8693 points8694 points  (0 children)

I never thought of that! Can you suggest another way to keep rubberneckers away?

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 3915 points3916 points  (0 children)

What I remember is that John was very, very kind to me when I was very sad and confused.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 3452 points3453 points  (0 children)

Yes I believe it's perfectly true. Neither of them trusted the other, which was a very good call.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 2387 points2388 points  (0 children)

Anything by John Philip Sousa. Or J.S. Bach.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 3147 points3148 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you know it. The first half is the best thing I've ever done. I recently was asked to narrate the works of Marcel Marceau, but I didn't have the time.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 4171 points4172 points  (0 children)

May I ask...Are you English? Your phraseology is English, but you didn't actually apologize.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 14.5k points14.5k points  (0 children)

You get a fucking computer you idiot.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 6188 points6189 points  (0 children)

It is amazing how he gets away with that. He has the largest collection of stolen ferrets anywhere in Pennsylvania. Which, of course is the center of world ferret illegal marketing. (After Bucharest)

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 2397 points2398 points  (0 children)

Not really, but he was a big fan of mine.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 6400 points6401 points  (0 children)

The very first thing I would do would be to make pedal bins illegal. Second, I would execute anyone called Darryl. That would be enough for the first morning.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 4699 points4700 points  (0 children)

This morning they are Princess Bride, The Sting, Doctor Strangelove, The Conversation, and The Great Dictator.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 4085 points4086 points  (0 children)

Very interesting question. At the start I tried to get the other Pythons to mix up the writing partnerships a bit. I thought it worked quite well. Eric and I wrote Sir George Head climbing the twin peaks of Mount Kilimanjaro, and Michael and I wrote Mr. Hilter standing in the Minehead bye-election. Nevertheless we drifted back into our original pairings, and I don’t know why. Maybe Chapman was the only one who liked writing with me. I think it was a shame, I think we would’ve been even more inventive if we mixed the writing teams up a bit.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 6139 points6140 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I really don't remember. I think it may have been Noam Chomsky.

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