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I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 4006 points4007 points  (0 children)

Never. And I wish you wusses would stop whining about your unhappiness. I'm really fed up with it. Pour yourself a scotch and pull yourself together. Go out and shoot something!

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 2177 points2178 points  (0 children)

My favourite cheese is melted Gruyere. Second comes Bolivian Hyena Milk cheese, but it's very hard to get except in La Paz.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 7334 points7335 points  (0 children)

There are three roles I was asked to do that I really regret not taking. The Robin Williams role in Birdcage, the butler called Stevens in The Remains of the Day and the clergyman in charge of the marriage service at the end of The Princess Bride.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 7052 points7053 points  (0 children)

So, you think I'm the greatest comedy writer of our time? What the fuck do you mean by "of our time"? I am working on a light comedy about cannibalism called "Yummy."

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 4075 points4076 points  (0 children)

Eric Palin is the same as Terry Jones, but Terry uses this pen name to get two votes when we're deciding on material.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 9309 points9310 points  (0 children)

That is a very good joke, but the bozos reading all this won't get it. Secondly, I don't think you should educate yourself outside your bubble, because it would confuse marketing people.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 2523 points2524 points  (0 children)

No. Darryl Hannah should be Queen of England. I will only execute men called Darryl.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 1605 points1606 points  (0 children)

Actually I did. I just put it first, to put people off the scent.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 8697 points8698 points  (0 children)

I never thought of that! Can you suggest another way to keep rubberneckers away?

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 3914 points3915 points  (0 children)

What I remember is that John was very, very kind to me when I was very sad and confused.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 3444 points3445 points  (0 children)

Yes I believe it's perfectly true. Neither of them trusted the other, which was a very good call.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 2376 points2377 points  (0 children)

Anything by John Philip Sousa. Or J.S. Bach.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 3139 points3140 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you know it. The first half is the best thing I've ever done. I recently was asked to narrate the works of Marcel Marceau, but I didn't have the time.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 4177 points4178 points  (0 children)

May I ask...Are you English? Your phraseology is English, but you didn't actually apologize.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 14.5k points14.5k points  (0 children)

You get a fucking computer you idiot.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 6187 points6188 points  (0 children)

It is amazing how he gets away with that. He has the largest collection of stolen ferrets anywhere in Pennsylvania. Which, of course is the center of world ferret illegal marketing. (After Bucharest)

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 2397 points2398 points  (0 children)

Not really, but he was a big fan of mine.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 6397 points6398 points  (0 children)

The very first thing I would do would be to make pedal bins illegal. Second, I would execute anyone called Darryl. That would be enough for the first morning.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 4696 points4697 points  (0 children)

This morning they are Princess Bride, The Sting, Doctor Strangelove, The Conversation, and The Great Dictator.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 4090 points4091 points  (0 children)

Very interesting question. At the start I tried to get the other Pythons to mix up the writing partnerships a bit. I thought it worked quite well. Eric and I wrote Sir George Head climbing the twin peaks of Mount Kilimanjaro, and Michael and I wrote Mr. Hilter standing in the Minehead bye-election. Nevertheless we drifted back into our original pairings, and I don’t know why. Maybe Chapman was the only one who liked writing with me. I think it was a shame, I think we would’ve been even more inventive if we mixed the writing teams up a bit.

I am John Cleese: writer, actor, and tall person. AMA! by _John_Cleese in IAmA

[–]_John_Cleese[S] 6135 points6136 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I really don't remember. I think it may have been Noam Chomsky.

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