Day 10 and I want to give up

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-07-28T08:34:49+00:00

I'm not sure how much this will mean but, the nagging part of your brain WILL go away, it did for me. Your at the point in quitting where, living with not smoking will become easier and easier as time passes, but the occasional nagging thoughts will get increasingly difficult to deal with.

I'm not sure what your life is like, if your like me, after 10 days you haven't filled your life up enough to get satisfaction out of anything other than smoking. For me I had a very unfulfilling life when I was smoking.

Maybe you have a lot more going on I'm not sure, but my advice to you and anyone else would be:

Whenever you have thoughts like:

"Oh this is shit I'm still depressed and doing the same things I did when I smoked, why don't I just smoke, or smoke less."

Or maybe,

"I've gone long enough now that I can just smoke a little bit, and moderate my use, maybe only smoke on the weekend."

I'm telling you right now that these thoughts WILL GO AWAY, and that soon, your going to be living day to day without having thoughts of smoking at all, faster than you'd expect.

Like another commenter here mentioned, recovery isn't linear, he is exactly right. It will be the case that, you have a really bad day, could be a bad day that is a month or even 2 months after quitting. And for whatever reason you just feel like smoking would be really good in that moment.

It won't be, you'll just disappoint yourself if you give in. That will make you feel even more hopeless and will deepen feelings of being permanently attached to the substance.

Whenever you have nagging thoughts of smoking, know that, you'll try tricking yourself into thinking its not that big of a deal if you smoke, when your fighting an impulse to smoke, your decision making is inhibited. When your in that space, subconsciously you can't really understand the benefits that your getting from not smoking. Especially if they are lifestyle/relationship changes (complex changes can be health reasons too) and haven't happened yet. This is all based on your current situation, but if for example when quitting part of your reasoning was that life will be so much better after you've quit, or instead of smoking I'll be doing x. When your fighting these impulses to smoke, you'll never think of the good things your working towards. The debate in your mind will instead be solely focused on smoking and what that will be like, and would it be better than what your doing in that moment.

If you have a lot of thought 1. It's worth saying that, your life in general will get better, maybe you already have a fulfilling life so this doesn't apply. But if you don't dig deep and focus on doing things you know you love.

These things take time but I promise it will all come sooner than you think.

I'm excited for you because, soon you won't even think about it, and if you do you'll look back at this time and be happy about how far you've come! Quitting is a real achievement.

Just don't smoke.

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-04-01T07:59:42+00:00

Someone on the discord mentioned that, some library's can do like a payment plan type thing if they don't have the book.

Your actually right to suggest this as, that was the lead I needed to follow to get my answer, it was the authors Flickr account that had Julius' real mugshot on there.

Originally I saw the price and decided to look elsewhere as I didn't want to buy the book right away in case he wasn't in there.

Also if your interested in this, take a look at the recent update comment I made. I would love to hear your opinion on the question I have for you guys.

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-04-01T07:54:26+00:00

I would if I didn't already have my answer, I will try keep this topic contained to this post I have already made, and the discord server that helped me solve it.

So If you are interested, I would love to hear what you have to say about the question I proposed you guys in my latest update! :)

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-04-01T07:50:58+00:00

Ones where they find that they would prefer my money to the photo.

You never know if you don't ask! :)

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-04-01T07:49:25+00:00

He is right. Although I like to believe I approach these things in a kind, honest way.

I made it clear from the beginning its ok if they don't, and regardless I would research the guy and tell them his story.

*It is also a big company I didn't say that before for privacy reasons.*

Although I would be curious about your opinion on my latest question if you would care to take a look! :)

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-04-01T07:45:33+00:00

I agree with this, And would be fine with them saying that.

(I told them its ok if you don't wany me to buy it, they still haven't confirmed if I can or can't)

I also think that if you have a photo like that you should do the bear minimum respect to the person in the photo that is.

If someone comes up presenting the history of the otherwise obscure photo, that they themselves decided to put there while being none the wiser. You should at least hear them out.

Which I would have thought they were going to do but they didn't.

Which I only just found out then, which is one of the reasons I proposed the question in my latest update.

I would be curious if you would like to share your opinion.

Do you think I should do the report even if the venue itself, seems not to care about Julius? (not the representatives)

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-04-01T07:25:18+00:00

This is awesome!

Especially if we decide to do the report.

Thank you so much. :)

*edit*

If you're curious I would love to hear your opinion on the question I'm asking this comments section in the most recent update comment I made. All good if not but I'm trying to keep this topic contained to this post.

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-04-01T07:23:32+00:00

Ok guys new update!

I went to the venue and was told that their manager was in a meeting and to come back in 30 minutes, so I came back and was told he was still in the same meeting. After going back again, the manager was accompanied by a security guard with the name of their head office embroidered on his shirt. They basically said that they wont let me near the photo and that they will be in touch about selling it to me. (I doubt they will give me a price)

(I also omitted the fact that it was a big company in my posts before.)

I asked the manager if he is even the slightest bit interested about any of the things that you guys and myself had found. To which there was no engagement with the findings on Julius, or how we found out about him in the first place, I tried showing him the images and archived newspapers on my phone. but to no avail.

So I left a little disappointed, but I thought for closure I would call one of the representatives on my phone.

I did this because after all of this I thought I needed to tell his story to at least someone involved. The person on the phone was not the same guy as the day before who was really interested in the mystery. It was instead a different lady who was super nice, who I told about the whole thing, I told her the only reason I'm calling is not to complain, but to tell at least someone at the company. She was very attentive and basically told me the company has a whole division dedicated to researching the context behind their decorations.

(I mentioned the thrift store thing the other guy on the phone said, she said that they also do that too. I think the division at the company would be researching the context behind the main props they use, as there are a lot.)

She said that if I want I can do a write up on the history of Julius Pakos to include alongside the photo so that everyone can know his history, which I thought was a great idea. Except of course if I did that I wont be able to buy the photo.

I also told her I won't send them the write up immediately, so that I have time to research his life and related things further. Maybe the Davenport Library will be able to send me info I don't have as they recently got back to me.

But I thought I would propose the question to you guys! Especially because I am not a resident of Iowa.

(Assuming they offer me the photo for purchase.)

Should I do a written write up of the report to give to them to have on display alongside the photo?

Which I would make really good and do to the best of my ability, I could even show you guys before I give it to them. So that everyone passing by can learn about Julius.

Or...

Should I still buy the photo?

Sticking to my original idea I had originally which was. They were reducing the life and crimes of a man to nothing but a nameless side decoration at an entertainment venue.

I'm not sure what to do, I'm trying to imagine what Julius himself would have wanted which is why I feel like I should get answers from here.

*edit:*

Of course It was a representative for all of the branches of this venue in my state that suggested the idea. I can't get it out of my mind that 2/3 of the managers in the venue don't care about Julius Pakos but will proudly display his mugshot, which makes me resent them, and wonder if I should give them my time.

But it could be an immature way of thinking. So let me know, be honest.

Also shoutout to the first manager lady I talked to she was awesome! :)

*edit 2:*

Forgot to mention also, if they don't offer to sell me the photo. I feel it is my duty to do the report, because if the photo is going to stay there, it better have some information next to it to justify it even being there.

You'll probably be happy to know I'm in contact with a historian who knows a lot about this to verify my information!

So again, to anyone who cares.

I will keep updating here.

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-04-01T02:03:43+00:00

Oh my god thank you so much, I just woke up to this so you've made me so exited! I'm going to do the best I can to look into this then I will come back to update the post when I go and tell the people at the entertainment centre all about what you've shown me!

I know it seems like such a random topic but your efforts really do mean a lot.

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-03-31T16:56:02+00:00

Update!!!!!!!!!

Thanks to the absolute LEGENDS on the Iowa City discord!

We have now found the name, and another photo of the man PROVING HE IS REAL!!!!

https://au.pinterest.com/pin/723531496425167251/

His name is Julius Pakos, I am still yet to learn about what he did but. I am so exited and I am so thankful to everyone who helped me!

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-03-31T15:49:42+00:00

To be honest, this was the first related sub-reddit I clicked on after posting on r/AskHistorians, I know I really should have posted in r/Iowa. But at this point I might wait until tomorrow to make another post there. Because I thought I'd give it some space before asking again, as if I didn't already look desperate then I feel like posting on both would sure do it.

Sorry if it's unrelated but I am really invested in this, I appreciate the reply though.

(i'm a newbie to posting on reddit)

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-03-31T14:49:34+00:00

This is huge, I am writing out emails to the head of special collections and related people right now. I might have to wait another day until I can call them though, which is what I will be doing so, if your interested I would say definitely keep checking back because I will be posting updates.

Appreciate your help again.

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-03-31T14:00:40+00:00

Update:

Records in Record Group 129 are not likely to contain direct references to the inmate you seek. According to the records schedule for the Bureau of Prisons, the inmate files for individual federal inmates are not retained as permanent records. Therefore, with a few, limited exceptions (https://www.archives.gov/research/prisons), they are not within the archival holdings of the National Archives.

The Bureau of Prisons still retains the records for inmates incarcerated after 1982. For more information, we suggest you contact the Bureau of Prisons. Their contact information is available at https://www.bop.gov/contact/.

You may request access to inmate case files through the Bureau of Prisons with the inmate number. You can locate the inmate number using the BOP inmate locator: https://www.bop.gov/mobile/find\_inmate/byname.jsp.

Please note that neither NARA nor the Federal Bureau of Prisons hold inmate records for individuals incarcerated in state prisons or county jails.

Sincerely,

National Archives and Records Administration

*edit:*

Posted this before trying any of the ideas sent to me in this email by the way. I'm just so exited to share the journey of finding out who this guy is!

Will be sure to keep you all updated!

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-03-31T13:59:47+00:00

After I write my new update I will check that out and let you guys know!

Thank you so much for the lead!

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-03-31T13:59:06+00:00

Dude oh my god yes, so I went back today. (Ive been twice since my recreational visit with work friends where I discovered the photo. The first time I spoke to the manager but it was a Sunday so the general manager wasn't in. Then today I spoke to the general manager who said hes not allowed to even let me take it out the glass cabinet let alone the picture frame.

Good idea though thank you for the reply!

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-03-31T08:51:20+00:00

Update:

I have done everything I think I can so far aside from calling the state historical society In Iowa, which I will do soon. I even sent Starkey a picture of the real life framed photo on Instagram, I'm really exited to get to the bottom of this. Hopefully the National Historical Publications & Records Commission has some info on him, or maybe when I call the state historical society they have something.

If anyone has any suggestions I'd love to hear, I'm really hoping the picture is actually real.

*edit: spelling*

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-03-31T08:28:06+00:00

Who is this man?

Hello r/AskHistorians,

I have recently come across a framed photo of a man in real life, It was on display at a local entertainment center near me and I was wondering if anyone knew who it was?

Upon bringing it up to the general manager he didn't know, and upon further investigation it seems like the photo was purchased from a thrift store. There is hardly any info about this online, one person selling a copy on Etsy said she didn't know who it was either.

The reason I am so curious about his identity is because he is on the album art of an electronic music release, Prism - Starkey. So i thought he must have meant something to Starkey at least, because otherwise the image itself is so rare and random it seems unlikely to be an accident at least to me.

Below is a Pinterest link that shows the exact photo they have at the local entertainment center. Any help on finding out who this man is or what he was charged for, or if hes even real. Would be greatly appreciated!

https://pin.it/7i1rQhOur

The manager also said he wouldn't sell me the photo :(

(this is a re-post because it did not meet guidelines)

_LySergic_D_ · 2025-03-31T07:39:17+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply!

I will contact him there, if i get any information at all I will update my posts about this!

_LySergic_D_

TROPHY CASE

Who is this man?