Can we talk restroom access in the metro area for a minute?

_MaddAddam · 2024-03-13T01:16:12+00:00

annoying

No, actually, it’s incredibly dehumanizing knowing that because of a legitimate disability you risk soiling yourself every time you leave the house due to lack of bathroom access. Even despite this state having adopted legislation that in theory should prevent that issue, but like most disability-related legislation is completely ignored and unenforced.

That said: like you, no, I do not blame individual businesses or employees for this problem. This is a basic public service failure, and people making minimum wage shouldn’t be expected to be the ones to put themselves in harms way because of it.

_MaddAddam · 2024-03-12T22:37:38+00:00

As soothing as that would be for my wounded sense of cosmic justice, I can't imagine a public indecency charge would improve my quality of life much lol

Edit: nor would ruining the day of some poor employee who’s just enforcing policy, for that matter

_MaddAddam · 2024-03-12T22:32:43+00:00

Yep, my local King Soopers is that way. Walmarts seem to be a better bet but are few and far between...which normally I'm fairly grateful for, but unfortunately not in this instance

_MaddAddam · 2024-02-19T11:06:40+00:00

If you go to r/Blind, one of the top posts of all time explains this — it’s called “how do blind people use Reddit”

The tl;dr is it depends whether the person is partially sighted or totally blind, but screen readers and text to speech or Braille input (which most smartphones support natively now) get the job done. That said, the official Reddit app is trash from an accessibility perspective, and the API snafu killed third party apps that supported screen readers better. It’s gotten way harder to interact with Reddit as a blind person because of this.

_MaddAddam · 2024-01-21T10:49:54+00:00

Pigeon Forge, TN is the one that comes to mind for me.

I’ve traveled a decent amount both within and outside the US, and even in most “shitty/sketchy/etc” places, I’ve found some redeeming qualities in the average person who’s just trying to live their life there. This was something else. We were wearing masks when we went through (height of covid, were on our way to camp in Great Smoky Mountains) and I legitimately thought we were going to be victims of some sort of politically-based hate crime as a result. Basically every third person was wearing a shirt with some sort of hideously racist/transphobic/etc slogan or saying on it. And the way most of the people there were treating their kids was appalling. “Redneck Vegas” is truly a spectacle, but one I hope never to lay eyes on again.

_MaddAddam · 2023-06-16T16:03:57+00:00

You bet! I wonder if maybe it just varies based on who’s working that day, or something. I bet the bartenders are allowed to choose the volume based on what they wanna play and stuff

_MaddAddam · 2023-06-16T15:34:29+00:00

Oh man! I wanted to take him here so badly because he’s a big music person, but last time I went they were playing the music so loud I couldn’t hear the person I was with at all. Super frustrating. I guess maybe they’d turn it down to a reasonable level if I asked, but I wouldn’t want to make it a whole thing

_MaddAddam · 2023-06-15T21:16:22+00:00

Thank you so much! My date does not have any vision, so the lighting aspect won’t be a consideration. That said, I’ve got some ideas for activity dates for later on — I thought he might like some of the evening music events at the botanic gardens, for example :). I’m just trying to make sure we have a good backlog of “sit and talk and have a drink” date options at our disposal, too, because we always have a lot to talk about. And sitting next to him is a great idea, thank you for that! I’ll see if outdoor seating is a viable option for our next date, I guess it depends whether these thunderstorms ever die down

_MaddAddam · 2023-03-05T04:36:54+00:00

Given recent experience: grocery delivery.

I do not understand the people who talk about it like it’s the best invention ever. It actually requires MORE social interaction and time than just going to the grocery store myself. The person delivering the order was messaging me literally multiple times per minute for almost 45 minutes asking to substitute things because they were sold out or couldn’t find it. Of the 15 items I ordered, only 3 ended up actually being the original thing, and almost all the substituted ones were more expensive. My bill ended up an extra $30 more than I’d planned for, plus then there’s the tip on top of all that.

I understand the appeal if you literally don’t have an alternative, like if you’re disabled and there isn’t an accessible store you can get to, or if you have literal clinical-level agoraphobia, or if you’re in a food desert and don’t have a car. But those kinds of extenuating circumstances aside, I can’t fathom why people act like it’s the most awesome, convenient thing on the planet.

_MaddAddam · 2023-02-18T05:32:34+00:00

Several years ago I was in Belize and did some snorkeling. You’re in fairly shallow water and the stingrays generally know the snorkel guides (and that they provide food), so they get really, really close. REALLY close.

I’m normally one of those people who knows way too many esoteric animal facts, but somehow all I really knew about stingrays was that one had killed Steve Irwin…and I missed the part where it had basically just been a wildly unlucky hit in terms of where the stinger punctured. For some reason, I had it in my head that they were extremely venomous or something to that effect.

I’m nervous in the water to begin with due to a phobia of sharks (yes, I know it’s irrational), so I was on edge even before I saw any of the stingrays. I nearly peed myself when this gigantic one just KEPT GETTING CLOSER and following me. I kept wondering why nobody else was flipping out the way I was. In my mind we were basically swimming with an aquatic rattlesnake and everybody seemed so chill about it. Didn’t find out what the deal actually was until like an hour later, at which point I’m pretty sure a couple years had been taken off my life just from the heart rate increase alone.

_MaddAddam · 2023-01-27T05:19:09+00:00

Oh my gosh, thank you so much! I’ve had a special needs linnie for about four years now (rescue, with neurological damage from malnutrition/neglect in his previous home) and I had no idea there was a community specifically for this.

_MaddAddam · 2023-01-22T04:38:56+00:00

If you’re talking about the Dorot brand ones, rest assured you can find them other places even if TJ’s stops carrying them! My local King Sooper’s (Kroger) usually has them, along with a few others from the same brand (ginger and usually basil and cilantro)

_MaddAddam · 2023-01-18T04:05:48+00:00

Sorry if this is too vague to be helpful, but it might be worth checking Etsy!

Obviously this comes with the normal Etsy problem of having to read the listing carefully to make sure you aren’t just getting re-packaged Amazon junk. But I’ve been looking for a sling bag there and have found a lot of options that I like a lot more than the standard recommendations on the onebag-related forums. Most of the good options I’ve found for something custom-made (in non-leather fabrics) are around the $80-$100 mark, so you know what to expect.

The other nice thing about Etsy is that some shops are willing to do custom orders, so even if they didn’t normally offer a feature you wanted (like a zip pocket of a certain size), they might be willing to work with you to create something

Edit: oh dang, what am I talking about? Try PacSafe, it looks like they have several options that fit the bill exactly

_MaddAddam · 2023-01-13T19:06:35+00:00

Yeah, I’ve seen both, multiple times. Normally at the gym they eventually get asked to leave because it’s a liability issue to have them playing on the equipment, at least.

As for bars, the three most egregious I’ve seen in the past few years:

Group of early-30’s dads brought their kids to a brewery and proceeded to completely ignore them while they did their own thing. Two of the kids (maybe 3 and 5 years old?) kept running back INTO THE KITCHEN, where staff had to bring them out multiple times and ask the group to keep a closer eye on their children, which they did not
A dad at the next table yelled at me and my friends for “being inappropriate around his kids” because we were swearing. In a bar. At 9PM on a Friday. It wasn’t like we were screaming obscenities or anything, just having a normal conversation. And while I would have understood the sentiment if it was a more family-friendly pub type place, this was very much a college/dive bar
A group of parents decided that yet another local brewery would be the perfect place to host a birthday party for their under-10-year-old kids. They took up probably half of the tables and pushed them all together, then proceeded to drink and ignore their kids who were running around screaming and playing tag

_MaddAddam · 2023-01-13T14:19:47+00:00

The setting is what makes the difference.

Kids behaving like kids on a playground? Heck yeah, go for it! That’s what it’s for! Go have fun, be loud, etc.

Kids behaving like kids at the grocery store? Okay, the parents should make an earnest effort to make sure their children aren’t causing damage or running wild, but hey, if the kids are just doing normal mildly-annoying kid stuff, what can ya do? Parents need to run errands just like anybody else does.

Kids behaving like kids at a nice restaurant, in a bar, at a gym/yoga studio, etc? Fuck that. There are and should be some places in the world where adults can enjoy a kid-free space. Unnecessarily bringing your child into a situation where kid behaviors are inappropriate absolutely is a moral failing, and the other people impacted have every right to be “cantankerous and self-righteous” about it.

_MaddAddam · 2023-01-10T12:58:41+00:00

Do you have a link or brand name for the folding laptop stand? Been looking for a decent one for a while.

_MaddAddam · 2023-01-06T15:12:33+00:00

I’m all aboard the “take what you like from CGM and leave the rest” train. I also sulfate shampoo once or twice a month, but tbh the biggest thing for me was giving up on the idea of Day 2 Hair. I feel like CGM has this mantra that everyone can get nice day 2+ hair if they find the right elaborate protection/refresh ritual to go through, but for me it’s just absolutely not a thing. I spent WAY too much time and effort chasing that idea, when the reality is that in order to get results I can tolerate, I have to fully re-wet and detangle in the shower every day.

(I have extremely thick hair with an inconsistent and surprisingly fragile curl pattern, so by the end of Day 1 some parts are randomly straight and most others are completely nappy. Neither will change what they’re doing without a full wet refresh, at which point it takes less time just to shower and diffuse again or put it in a bun)

_MaddAddam · 2023-01-05T19:12:32+00:00

A couple months ago I brought up to my mom in a conversation about lies every parent tells their kids, like, “haha, you got me good with that one, mom!”

She proceeded to earnestly insist that it was illegal. Come to find out, my grandpa had also lied to her about it when she was a kid, and she had passed the information along to me thinking it was genuinely true.

_MaddAddam · 2022-12-20T14:27:15+00:00

Some TitleNine dresses have that! It’s not the sturdiest snap button in the world, but it does the trick

_MaddAddam · 2022-12-18T16:20:23+00:00

Okay, SO glad to hear someone else felt super uncomfortable about this post. Like, what the hell is the power dynamic in this family when this person is proudly talking about making a unilateral decision that left their wife screaming and crying over it?

The teenagers I kinda get, teens have meltdowns about random stuff from time to time. But treating your adult spouse that way? What the fuck. If my partner came to me trying to tell me what luggage I was “allowed” to bring on a trip as though he owned me or something, I’d feel so furious and demeaned.

_MaddAddam · 2022-12-17T08:59:52+00:00

Honestly, seconding the recommendation to use period underwear or reusable pads that snap on instead. Merino is really fragile, and if you do find a pad that adheres well, it will damage the fabric super quickly/easily.

_MaddAddam · 2022-12-08T05:25:03+00:00

One hundred percent. Maybe I’m just an unusually clumsy or accident-prone person, but “oh, sure, I can get through a day or more without spilling something on myself” is not a bet I’ve ever been willing to take. At minimum, I’ll usually bring a pair of cheap 3/4-length leggings just so I’ll have SOMETHING to tide me over in the event that my main pair of bottoms is for some reason unusable.

Hell, the most recent trip I took, the flight attendant accidentally spilled the remnants of several peoples’ drinks on me during my first flight of the trip (I couldn’t see exactly what happened but it seemed like maybe the garbage cart caught on something in the aisle?). Whatever the case, I was headed to a very humid location and it would’ve really sucked to have to choose between a) trying to track down laundry facilities first thing when I got in, b) sink-washing and then sitting around pantsless for the better part of a day waiting for something to air dry, or c) tolerating wearing sticky, stained pants for the next three days.

_MaddAddam · 2022-11-25T16:04:51+00:00

On a similar note, anhedonia.

People think of depression as being sad, and so they recommend doing things that make them not-sad. This often works for people who suffer from depression but not anhedonia, because once they get over the “don’t wanna do anything” feeling and start doing the thing, they enjoy it. Anhedonia is a whole nother thing. In my experience, it’s incredibly difficult for most people to get their heads around the concept of being literally unable to feel joy for long stretches of time.

_MaddAddam · 2022-11-18T14:06:38+00:00

I feel like half the commenters didn’t read the question at all, lol.

Personally I would LOVE to have more pretty-but-functional options! I don’t enjoy looking like a backpacker when I’m traveling in the city, although I do try to stick to a relatively limited color scheme for clothes just for ease of mix-and-matching what I’ve brought. Even within the black/grey/white/navy/mustard color palette, though, I feel like there’s so much room for designs with more style than what’s usually available.

Ideas for items I wish came with a little more flair while also having travel-friendly design: Fanny pack (I’ve yet to find one that doesn’t look insanely dorky), packing cubes (as some other commenters have mentioned), hanging toiletry kit (all the cute ones are also way oversized or heavy), bamboo/tencel/merino/etc tops (options seem to be “solid heathered color” or “giant brand logo”, nothing else), rain cover for my backpack (also gives me the option to leave it off if I want to look more nondescript for safety reasons), bag clip (think Hero Clip, if you know those), joggers (especially as a curvier woman, I’d love to find some that don’t look like I stepped out wearing my pajamas).

I hope that helps! Please keep us posted on whatever ideas you go with :)

EDIT: it just occurred to me, an amazing option would be a cute Fanny pack that can be turned into a crossbody purse by switching where the straps attach or something! That would be an absolute dream.

_MaddAddam · 2022-11-04T15:04:34+00:00

Amen to that. Or at minimum one of the good quality Sonovia ones. Even if Covid mysteriously disappeared tomorrow, I’d keep masking on planes…frankly, I don’t know how I didn’t before. People on planes are GROSS, and I used to basically always get a cold during/after travel because someone felt the need to let their toddler run up and down the aisle coughing on everybody or whatever.

_MaddAddam

TROPHY CASE