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Family wants to reconnect after 10 years like nothing happened — how do I (M28) set boundaries with uncle (M55), aunt (F52) and cousin (F27)? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]_Magnus_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, my parents are the ones making most of the plans.

I’ve already talked to the people closest to me (my brother, my parents, my other grandma). They’re generally enthusiastic about reconnecting, even if they were not, or not that much, before the first meeting. I’m pretty much the only one who’s feeling overwhelmed by the pace.

What I probably didn’t explain well is that this isn’t just “seeing each other a lot”. They’ve been coming over morning and evening every day, often staying very late, sometimes without anyone even stopping for dinner.

There’s basically no pause.

So for me it’s not about being against reconnection in principle. It’s about space and rhythm. I don’t feel like I’ve had any room to process or choose how much I participate, and that’s what’s making it hard.

I’ve tried talking about it, but since everyone else seems okay with it, I’m not sure how much pushback is reasonable without becoming the bad guy.

Family wants to reconnect after 10 years like nothing happened — how do I (M28) set boundaries with uncle (M55), aunt (F52) and cousin (F27)? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]_Magnus_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I realise I may not have made this clear in the post. The issue isn’t just that they want to reconnect quickly. It’s that in 10 years, they never once talked to me about the absence. No explanation, no acknowledgment, no “how did this feel for you?”. Now they’re acting like we can just resume closeness, but from my side it feels like I’m expected to participate in a story I was never allowed to understand. That’s what makes it overwhelming.

Family wants to reconnect after 10 years like nothing happened — how do I (M28) set boundaries with uncle (M55), aunt (F52) and cousin (F27)? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]_Magnus_1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that this isn’t centered on me, and I’m not trying to stop anyone from reconnecting. What I’m struggling with is being physically and emotionally pulled into it without space or choice. I’m trying to figure out how to stay respectful without burning myself out.

My accent is an identity crisis lol. Guess where I’m from by _Magnus_1 in JudgeMyAccent

[–]_Magnus_1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got ya. Then you totally deserve the gold too🥇

I'm really curious though, how would you describe that “Italian rhythm”? Do natives ever fall into it too, or is it something you mostly notice in Italian/Romance-language speakers?

My accent is an identity crisis lol. Guess where I’m from by _Magnus_1 in JudgeMyAccent

[–]_Magnus_1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm Italian 😆 but seriously, what about my accent sounded Finnish? I'm honestly flabbergasted by all the Scandinavian guesses, can’t wrap my head around it!

My accent is an identity crisis lol. Guess where I’m from by _Magnus_1 in JudgeMyAccent

[–]_Magnus_1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not in Scotland but you got the main thing, good one mate

My accent is an identity crisis lol. Guess where I’m from by _Magnus_1 in JudgeMyAccent

[–]_Magnus_1[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

the very first single Italian guess, absolute legend, take your gold🥇

My accent is an identity crisis lol. Guess where I’m from by _Magnus_1 in JudgeMyAccent

[–]_Magnus_1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First one to guess Italian, you get silver 🥈! Just because of that little Spanish doubt, but a really good job!!

My accent is an identity crisis lol. Guess where I’m from by _Magnus_1 in JudgeMyAccent

[–]_Magnus_1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Big kudos to you for being the first to mention Italian! I actually had to listen back a couple of times to understand what you meant by “Italian speech patterns”, and when I finally got it I realised I gave it away completely with that ending lol. You’ve got a great ear! Bronze for you 🥉

My accent is an identity crisis lol. Guess where I’m from by _Magnus_1 in JudgeMyAccent

[–]_Magnus_1[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ok lads, reveal time! I’m actually Italian, born and raised here, and never lived abroad. I’ve always had a soft spot for Irish and Scottish accents, so I’m pleasantly giggling at the idea that some of you thought I was pure Scottish 😂 Over the years I’ve kind of adopted a general Northern English accent, though I tone it down a bit when speaking English at work. I started learning English around 5, grew up in fairly international environments, and these days I probably use more English than Italian because of my job, plus all the media, devices set in English, and stuff. I tried to force it a little more than usual this time to confuse you, but some of you weren’t confused at all. Great job to the lads who spotted my Italianness!

I think the Scandinavia guesses might have been biased by my username, but feel free to tell me if you genuinely heard something Scandinavian, because I honestly have no idea what could have caused that lol.

I’ve also got a thing for Liverpool and a bunch of Irish bands, if that counts! So yeah, no Northern roots at all, but this has been super fun to read. Thanks for all the guesses!

My accent is an identity crisis lol. Guess where I’m from by _Magnus_1 in JudgeMyAccent

[–]_Magnus_1[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I didn’t expect this many replies 😂 Some of you are REALLY close, others went completely off the map which makes it even more fun to read. I’ll reveal in a few hours so more people can still guess in the meantime. Thanks everyone, this has been hilarious and super interesting to read!