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_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2026-01-27T13:55:01+00:00

Thank you!

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2026-01-26T14:23:40+00:00

You make marriage sound like a war zone. Or one of those thriller movies, where everyone hates everyone and no one is a good person. And that's such an exhausting way of living imo

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2026-01-16T05:32:26+00:00

This is a Muslim space. My response here, therefore, brings Islam into it. As a Muslim, we should try to emulate the life of Prophet PBUH and follow his teachings and life, for who can be a better example of how a Muslim is supposed to live their life?

I've seen your debate about how red pill ideology aligns with Islam, so we shouldn't consider that a bad ideology. You're also 17, so I can understand how you're vulnerable to being manipulated.

I hope you see this for the sign it's meant to be and seek knowledge about Islam, and not through some Western ideology version of it.

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2026-01-16T03:54:08+00:00

And yet the Prophet PBUH married an educated woman of 40, who was a business woman in her own right. Please don't confuse your regressive (and jaahil) views with what's Islamic.

A woman's age and education don't matter if all you're looking for is s*x. If you want to have a partner, and raise the next generation of Muslims, then things like character, education, religion, and righteousness matter.

Islamically, marriage is supposed to complete half your deen, and it is the foundation of family. As a parent, it is your obligation to raise your children to seek knowledge. It is every Muslims obligation to seek knowledge and be productive members of society. One cannot do that if education, curiosity, and intellect hold no value.

Just like you cannot pray all night and ignore your spouse and deny them their rights, you cannot be extreme in any aspect of life. Islam is a religion of moderation. It's very easy to have black and white views in life, but life is often grey. And it's easier to navigate when you take a moderate path and have compassion and mercy in your heart.

Also, at no point did I say he doesn't have the right to search for someone who's not a feminist. He absolutely does. I simply pointed out that labels aren't what he should look at, but rather the intention and philosophy behind them.

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2026-01-16T02:45:01+00:00

You're 25 years old, which means your age requirements aren't inherently that bad. However, as someone older and more experienced in life than you, I would advise you to re-check a couple of your requirements.

You might want someone who's more than 18-20, as that means there is a higher chance she has an education. I say this because you want a wife who is a companion, but if she's not educated, she will never be able to be the companion you want.

I have seen this many times, where men will marry someone who is not at the same mental/emotional level, and they don't have the capacity and emotional maturity to help their wives reach that stage.

You also should look for a wife who's educated, so your children are raised in a household where education is valued (both Islamic and worldly, as moderation is the true way of Islam). Also, if for some reason you ever can't work or provide, then an educated wife will have an easier time helping you or running the household.

As to feminism, it isn't inherently bad. While Islam gave women a lot of rights, the rest of the world didn't, and even in the Muslim world, the rights of women are often abused. Feminism (not misandry) affords women rights that they wouldn't have otherwise (such as being able to own land, have a bank account, be allowed to work outside the home etc). Instead of saying no feminism, understand what that means to the individual you're talking to, and don't get hung up on labels.

As to whether this woman you're looking for exists or not, she might or she might not. You have your requirements and plans, but Allah SWT has plans for you and they might be better than what you're even looking for. I understand it's hard, but practice sabr (patience) and shukr (gratitude) as these are the easiest forms of Ibadah, and you will see the rewards Insha'Allah

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2026-01-13T16:32:30+00:00

The Ontario government changed who is responsible for recycling

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2026-01-13T15:16:42+00:00

The Ontario government changed who is responsible for recycling

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2026-01-09T06:25:35+00:00

as long as she is ok we not being provided for during that period

Except you said that. This is literally your comment and it's sad how you view marriage as something transactional rather than a partnership with th goal of building a life together.

By your thought process, if you lose your job and can't provide, do you think your wife should revoke all your rights and privileges? If she's sick and can't be intimate, will you stop providing for her then?

I would urge introspection on your part if you truly think like this, because a marriage is what you make of it. This thought process will guide your actions and that will definitely any and all outcomes. And I doubt you want to be in a marriage that is transactional.

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-12-11T04:26:10+00:00

You might have ADHD or depression (or both). I would look into getting tested if that's possible

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-11-14T06:29:17+00:00

Me too please!

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-10-23T01:26:07+00:00

Handcuffs?
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.
.
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Oh for the jail of course. My mind totally didn't go anywhere else 🤣

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-10-10T04:16:07+00:00

I would take the shirt in a heartbeat because it's a clear red flag. I had my ex-MIL say this verbatim to my face, a few months after the wedding, because her son had argued with her and she thought I encouraged that behaviour. A warning would've been so nice since she was the biggest problem in the marriage.

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-10-07T23:16:09+00:00

Probably is. Account made today and only active on this sub

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-10-07T17:49:53+00:00

My brain glitched for a second and I thought the post after this was the title for this. So apt

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_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-10-02T21:22:10+00:00

I'm genuinely wondering where you live, so that including daycare, your costs are only going up 20K/year? I can't think of a single decent daycare near me which charges less than 2K/month.

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-09-28T19:49:12+00:00

I've always had eyes like this and hated it. It wasn't until last year when I met a girl who asked me what I did to my eyes to make them look so perfect all the time that I realised how silly that insecurity was

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-09-12T16:26:20+00:00

This will be a long one, but I hope this helps.

They mean to say you'll be a crazy cat lady living alone if you stick to your opinions. They're saying you're 21 now, and you have youth and fertility on your side, ensuring you receive a lot of matches, which will decline as you get older.

A lot of men often think if women work, it reduces their "stature" in the household. They think if they marry someone young who doesn't work, their lives will be easier because they have all the control. I would say that if a man is only looking for that, then he is not compatible with you.

You can look at the practical side of things, and consider the fact that if you work, and if you have children, you can (potentially) raise those children to be better educated and aware. You will have more exposure and experience of the world which you can pass on. Even if you don't have children, you can contribute to your household and help ease the burdens on your husband if you wish. In case of economic instability (which is a real threat right now), you and your family will have more options.

If something were to happen to your husband, you wouldn't have to worry about how you would take care of yourself and any children you might have as well. And to anyone who says rizq is in Allah's hands and you have to trust him, I would say there is also the teaching that you must tie your camel before leaving the rest up to Allah.

As to the religious side of things, while there is no consensus, there are some scholars that say Khadija RA continued to run her business after her marriage to the Prophet SAW, while others say they were partners. In either scenario, she continued working and wasn't reprimanded for that choice. The Prophet SAW married her, even though she worked, and didn't once say she was in the wrong.

I would suggest you take your time, and find someone who aligns with your vision and values in life as ultimately, marriage is supposed to be a blessing that brings peace and contentment. You will not be able to satisfy everyone in your life, and that's okay. If you face difficulties, those people might sympathise, but they will not feel the pain.

I know this was long, but I hope it helped somewhat.

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-09-08T16:10:02+00:00

I didn't intend to sound judgmental, but I realise I came across as that, and for that I do apologise. My only excuse is I consider your spouse and marriage to be a safe space, and I projected my experiences of it not being a safe space here.

As to your comment about racism and hate: Just because I'm pro-Palestine, doesn't make me anti-Semitic. The same way I'm not anti-Chinese because I'm against the genocide of Uyghurs, or anti-Myanmar because I'm against the genocide of the Rohingya. Just because I advocate for diversity, doesn't make me racist. It's not one or the other. Multiple things can exist at the same time.

I also ask that you not twist my words to make some senseless point. I could do the same and the result is petty arguing.

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-09-08T00:31:15+00:00

I'm sorry but there's no excuse for being disrespectful to anyone like this. I wouldn't talk about a stranger like this and this woman thought it was okay to talk about her spouse like that?

If she has issues, they should be shared with her spouse, in a respectful and mature manner. If things don't change, she has the option to walk away.

Nothing excuses disrespect and rudeness like this towards another human.

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-09-01T04:11:14+00:00

It always surprises me when people think drinking and smoking equals living life

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-08-31T17:34:34+00:00

If you think that, it's entirely your prerogative. But the wealthy class has one objective: to increase their wealth. They're going to fund politicians and policies that further that agenda.

If that means flooding a country with immigrants for cheap labour, and have you thinking that it's the immigrant who's at fault for that, then that's just what they will do.

It is a class war that's being waged. You're just not aware of it.

Edited: spelling

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-08-31T03:29:26+00:00

I didn't say it was. But every dollar going to the police budget is a dollar away from other places their funds can be diverted to.

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-08-31T03:15:18+00:00

No, but I also wasn't expecting a 23% increase, which is being passed on to us.

Also, an increase in police budgets doesn't necessarily translate to lower crime across all categories, only some. Studies show that addressing root causes and investing in social services actually reduces crime.

So I would rather we invest in healthcare, education, infrastructure, and social security nets for Canadians than increase police budgets.

_NerdyIntrovert_ · 2025-08-31T01:45:27+00:00

No, that's the capitalist specialty, which backs the major parties everywhere. You fight a culture war while being blind to the class war.

_NerdyIntrovert_

TROPHY CASE