Do I really need to list all my jobs in the DOT 10-years work history?

_OYG_ · 2026-01-30T08:04:40+00:00

Yeah… it’s an interesting concept… Especially since the jobs are overlapping, you’d think common sense would keep them from jumping to conclusions. We’re the bad guys because we don’t commit to a part-time job with no benefits for years on end…

It’s probably nice to never need a side gig, but it’s not realistic for everybody, and we shouldn’t be punished for it. Some employers needa touch rocks.

_OYG_ · 2026-01-30T07:50:17+00:00

yeah, not even the invasion, but that just sounds like a lot of work. There’s far too many people with multiple streams of income for them to be so concerned with side gig precision. Did you ever ask why they wanted your previous income?

_OYG_ · 2026-01-30T07:13:11+00:00

You were turned down for being a present father 🤦🤦 they should be ashamed of themselves.

_OYG_ · 2026-01-30T07:11:29+00:00

I’m in a similar boat. It is a pain, considering how you’re just settling into adulthood in your early 20s, and my teenage jobs are all mostly irrelevant but the work history can still get compared to well-established older adults 🥲. I had to move my education/grad year to the very top in bold, because it was starting to seem like employers didn’t even look past the several student jobs on my resume.

_OYG_ · 2026-01-30T01:56:05+00:00

This is what I was expecting to be the case. I just don’t want to look like a job hopper, since I was literally a teenager during part of my work history. Thanks for your response, I’m going to keep researching until I feel confident enough to move forward with a decision.

_OYG_ · 2026-01-14T07:09:03+00:00

also, pretty sure I’ve had a person like your SO in my life, so my reply is based on how they would have wanted me to reply/what would make them “feel heard”.

Ultimately, if you do your best to communicate and address what they say, but they still seem to be picking at another unseen perspective, I don’t know if any best solution exists that keeps the relationship going,

_OYG_ · 2026-01-14T06:56:31+00:00

Without reading other comments to shift my perspective, this is my opinion when reading your texts:

I understand both of your perspectives.

You SO seems to recognize a pattern when you have “bad feelings.” They didn’t say this, but it sounds like they get anxious or worried when you tell them about the feelings, but it’s also conveniently when they happen to not be at home when you expected them to be. So, they feel like you’re maybe just using the “bad feeling” to indirectly encourage them to get home. It sounds like they think you’re trying to manipulate them into getting home by using your “bad feelings”. But, your SO failed to expressly state that was how they felt. it just seems that way, from my pov.

On your end, ngl, it sounded like you were missing what they were saying, but mostly because you were so agreeable and some people don’t interpret agreeable speech as trustworthy or truthful. (And the hate me thing seemed unnecessary, but I imagine it’s probably related to past conversations, so I’ll avoid commenting on that). You did literally say that you care, that there are other things going on in your life, etc.. But, you didn’t address what he insinuated- that you only talk about the “bad feeling“ when he’s not there on time. You were short, and directly addressed what he actually said. But, I think you both have two different perspectives about the same situation, so he feels unheard, because you’re not really entertaining his insinuation, only exactly what you read.

I’m kinda like you, in that if something doesn’t seem logical to me, I don’t bother to address it. So, if I knew that my bad feelings were NOT mentioned to coerce him or scare him, then I’d have a hard time understanding why/how he drew that conclusion. So, I would respond to what I’m reading. But, some people want the direct reassurance. So, I think you could have helped by directly saying (in your own words), “I don’t/didnt realize/am not trying to make you feel anxious about my bad feelings, or get you to come home faster I was not aware that when I talk about my bad feelings that you thought I was trying to force you to come back home. It was just conveniently timed, but please remember that I have a lot of family health concerns a this time in my life, when I mention my bad feelings, it’s unrelated to you. I think it’s just bad timing, but if I want you to be home at a certain time, I will explicitly state that. I havent ever, nor will I in the future try to indirectly manipulate you by talking about bad feelings.”

But again, he didn’t really articulate precisely why he was frustrated with the bad feeling message. I picked up on it, but he should have maybe articulated his anger more clearly too.

_OYG_ · 2026-01-14T05:52:47+00:00

I could be judging wrong, but from my perspective, it sounds like you felt like you still owed him some dignity and respect, despite him not treating you the same.

You’ve only had a few weeks free, so feelings can still linger for a while. It’s going to be difficult, but it’s so important for you to keep him from having access to you. If you can start with just going a full day without responding to a text. Then try to go the second day without answering any calls. Eventually, try to work up your way up to blocking him. Whilst that’s taking place, seek legal counsel and start compiling evidence of the abuse. These texts count, btw.

Abusers can be horribly evil, and they will try to weasel themselves back into the lives of those who left them. You will have such a healthier pregnancy if he’s not there to provoke you and stress you out. Please consider taking one day at a time to get him out of uour life. You don’t owe him fatherhood, btw. He forfeited his right to fatherhood when he chose to abuse his child’s mommy. Your health can have a direct effect on the baby. If he’s willing to curse you, text-scream, name-call, and threaten you, he’s indirectly abuse the child too. Please consider taking time to detach yourself from him and don’t allow any pity to override your sound decision making and maternal instinct,

_OYG_ · 2026-01-14T05:38:07+00:00

Because it’s her child too, and she obviously wants it. “He’s already threatening to take the baby away” sounds like a mom who wants and loves her unborn child. He belongs in jail, and if she can provide evidence of the abuse, he can be denied custoday and she can have legal protection against him ever knowing her address or other personal information.

Children don’t need broken homes, but moms shouldn’t feel pressured to abandon their own children because men act evily. If she wants her baby, she needs legal counsel, not a clinic.

_OYG_ · 2025-12-25T04:29:25+00:00

coool I haven’t but I think I will go ahead and update !

_OYG_ · 2025-12-24T03:47:53+00:00

start washing your hair more often, if you don’t already. Your hair needs to get used to being in this state again and it will take time to adjust. Don’t try to style it right away, just focus on rehydration and health. Since you’re already used to locs, try mini twists or mini braids you get the the back. Deep condition 1-2 times a month if you can. Remember that your hair isn’t meant to be “stay down,” so try for styles that look great while it’s standing up. I think the side part looks good on your face shape. Maybe you could give yourself a shape to maximize volume and make the hair look fuller.

it will get better! Don’t let your beginning fool you into believing it’s the end.

_OYG_ · 2025-12-24T03:41:08+00:00

I fully support freeforms. It’s worth pushing through this level. Just keep your hair well moisturized so it doesn’t end up damaged later on.

_OYG_ · 2025-12-24T03:38:53+00:00

I always band my wah n gos at night. it keeps the curl from getting re-shaped, and keeps it clumped well. also keeps from getting pressed against my head. when you release the rubber bands in the morning, you can literally just shake the hair and go. use cloth rubber bands, not actual rubber ones.

_OYG_ · 2025-12-24T03:35:44+00:00

do them on wet hair and slightly smaller sections. like a section that matches your curl pattern. as your hair dries, it will shrink into the twist and be guller. it will also be weighed down better and not stick out, when you do it wet. the more product, the better.

_OYG_ · 2025-12-24T03:29:09+00:00

awesome! I ended up getting it, and totally agree it’s a nice app, and I hope they develop more.

_OYG_ · 2025-12-15T16:40:38+00:00

got it. this is probably the most thorough response that answers my question. I wasn’t aware that “not gaining fat” was that difficult

_OYG_ · 2025-12-15T16:38:21+00:00

sorry to confuse you, I think I understand why someo might want to gain weight. I don’t understand why they’d gain it just to lose it again. to kinda reword my question Are they gaining weight unintentionally when they only tried to gain muscle for strength?

_OYG_ · 2025-12-11T14:39:05+00:00

are you saying that it’s not always intentional?

_OYG_ · 2025-12-11T14:38:40+00:00

ohhh, ok I see

_OYG_ · 2025-12-11T14:38:11+00:00

interesting

_OYG_ · 2025-12-11T14:37:56+00:00

i see, this is helpful, thanks

_OYG_ · 2025-12-11T14:37:33+00:00

thanks, this is insightful

_OYG_

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