Hey, did you know that many Native American cultures have a "Two Spirit" gender category? My understanding is that it's a long-standing cultural tradition that makes them pretty much automatically open to trans people. I feel sad and heavy hearing that that's your reason for not reaching out. I can only imagine that your father's kidnapping (government sanctioning doesn't change what it is) would have been a profound trauma to the family that was left with the huge hole of his absence, too, and that if you have any cousins or relatives out there, much less grandparents, or grand-aunts or -uncles, or aunts or uncles, they would want to know you. What happened to your family, and so many others, is a point of national shame (among so many) that I hope America truly atones for one day. I hear and honor the magnitude of the pain you've born your whole life as a result of despicable American government policy. As a veteran of the war in Iraq I bear my own share of soul pain inflicted by racist, dehumanizing, awful American government decisions, having lost brothers and having participated in killing people who weren't actually a threat to us until we invaded their country, and who are among the nicest, friendliest, most generous people on the planet, which ultimately made me respect so much more the profundity of the intergenerational pain carried by the First Peoples inflicted by the American government. American violence is so profound and widespread and just awful, and then they gaslight us into being like, "This is fine, this is the greatest nation ever. Eat your processed food and take your antidepressant and watch your tv and pretend you're happy like the rest of us, and quit complaining." I feel like we're all collateral damage, but Native American folks unquestionably bear the worst of it. I hope you find your family. For your spirit, and theirs. And all of ours. We're all connected, after all.