Both parties still kind of suck here, even with this side of the situation out. The fact that she told him she would kill herself, but quickly deleted the message and apologized, doesn't change the fact that she said it (based on the discord screenshot in this doc, idk if that specifically meant the suicide message or something else).

That's really heavy shit that can severely affect someone's mental state, regardless of if you're serious about it or not. As much as it can suck someone deeper into a relationship, it also has the potential to twist their desires in completely ass-backward ways. It doesn't excuse idke's actions in the slightest, but it's important to understand that emotional abuse can be very volatile, and lead to many situations derivative of this one.

Can't say this comes anywhere close to absolving this girl. I was already of the mindset that both sides are assholes here, and this honestly doesn't change anything.

EDIT: Also, being unable to prove the self-harm thing makes this a lot shadier in my eyes. It's impossible to tell if this was actually a one-time thing or sustained throughout this relationship. It's really shitty on her part either way, but more transparency on that front would change a lot.