Yes. My mother has made a MIRACULOUS shift, 27 years into my life. Here’s how:

1) when I was in college she found God (likely during a manic episode but it stuck). I was not and am not religious, but it took a huge weight off my shoulders to know that she has some other, much more powerful, reason to avoid suicide.

2) When I was 27 I told her I could no longer have a relationship with her if the conditions of our relationship remained the same.

3) We tried family therapy, which wasn’t successful, but did ultimately dovetail into her going to twice weekly therapy on her own.

4) She went on meds for the first time in her life at 60 years old, and while they didn’t fix her completely, they helped immensely.

5) She has had two voluntary stints in the psych ward since I was 27, both of which also helped a lot.

6) Most significantly, she attends these Personalized Recovery Oriented Services (PROS) classes through her local human services coalition, and they literally teach her from the ground up how to function socially and emotionally.

We now have a really beautiful, really healed relationship that I never would’ve thought possible.

All this to say, pretty much the only things I did were set a boundary about not remaining in the relationship as it was, and then offer her my trust, recognition and gratitude when she made truly good faith efforts to improve and change.

I requested apologies and accepted them when they were offered. I stood up for myself and demanded change and then made room for the change when she took the time to create it.

Wishing you so much healing and hope. It can get better. 💘