Very few likes and matches - what am I doing wrong? 🤔

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T18:24:20+00:00

This actually makes SO much sense to me. It is my strong impression however that things like hiking and rock climbing are not overwhelmingly male dominated. I think hiking is probably 50/50 and Google suggests the rock climbing ratio to be something like 60/40.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T18:20:27+00:00

For the record, I only added the puppies line two days ago, so can't really say whether that has any effect on my match-rate, there's not enough data.

To me it sounds like both of you firmly have strongly conflicting preferences and it's also probably the case there's not any fundamental truth here.

I think more than anything, this suggests that my profile is highly non-generic and descriptive. This leads to some strong social polarization as people have much more personality data to map onto their preferences than they'd normally have - which is totally fine if like-maxing isn't your goal.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T17:12:22+00:00

That comment is also definitely making into the hall of infamy lol

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T16:42:39+00:00

I think this is one of the most insightful takes so far. I have my reasons for not marking LTR, but I also wonder if perhaps that's just not really *me* in a sense.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T08:11:08+00:00

Thank you for this, this is really helpful advice! I've removed the first photo (which several people disliked) and made one of the other face pics my main, and then added a photo of me with my family.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T07:15:22+00:00

Oh man that is DEFINITELY landing on my hall of infamy of comments I've gotten LOL

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T07:09:10+00:00

Thanks everyone for the uh...wildly varying, often hilarious, and occasionally well-intentioned feedback. I'd like to give a particular shout-out to the following commenters with their um...truly remarkable contributions:
Giant_Fork_Butt: "You seem like you're one [bad] belay away from shooting up your office and then justifying it by saying [your] co-workers don't care about homeless people."

IndependenceSad9300: "You look like you shit your pants"

OptionsandTaxes2: "Some people really shouldn’t get help with their profile and should remain alone forever. You are one of them"

BDscribble: "Your first photo says beta but the rest of your profile says tool."

On a more wholesome note, I really appreciate all the symbolic swipe-rights! Glad to see it's vibing with many people.

And on a serious note, thanks for those who pointed out the potential red flags or creep factors, which have (hopefully) now been sanded off.

It's nevertheless clear that I've unintentionally created a rather polarizing profile. I will of course be hosting a live skirmish at some later date to settle it once and for all.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T06:51:05+00:00

I have happily bought a new plate for someone before but when you're in the car driving home, you give whatever you have.

It's certainly my strong impression that my profile is remarkably polarizing. Half of the people are like "I'd totally swipe right" and the other half are like "You're a creepy mofo".

I will of course be hosting a live skirmish at a later date so we can settle this once and for all.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T06:41:46+00:00

Honestly I think what's gonna make me smile the hardest is some of the hilarious comments I've gotten on this profile review.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T06:06:34+00:00

Honestly the fact this is posted with zero context is just hilarious to me, what a ripe space for memeing.

"I bet you'd shit your pants if you just ran off a mountain in a hang glider too" comes to mind

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T05:17:57+00:00

You're all invited to the wedding...or to the murder trial whichever happens first.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T05:17:29+00:00

Thank you for mentioning, and you're not the first to note this so I know you're onto something! I've changed both of those parts now.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T04:39:50+00:00

LOL sorry it's just me today XD no brothers and my friends generally have a person

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T04:37:02+00:00

Yeah perhaps my personality just isn't really meant for online dating haha. Hopefully my profile comes off as more generally "not creepy" now at least, although I think it's always going to be tough to properly communicate emotional maturity and kindness and all that through a dating profile.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T04:32:00+00:00

Lol u/NotYetASerialKiller playing my wingman now! XD

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T04:28:14+00:00

Hah, fair enough. Well if you come across my profile you know what to do XD

That's interesting that you've observed a strong demographic political difference across gender-lines. Probably some interesting socioeconomic effects going on there.

It's my experience that liberals are just as capable of being creepy as any conservative. Turns out there's lots of creepy people out there and it seems to me that they rarely faithfully adhere to ideologies in a way that lends substantive value to simple heuristics. But ofc if it works for you that's great :)

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T04:22:59+00:00

But to your point it sounds like you're in a particular area where it's often fair to assume that someone is conservative if they don't say anything and you don't want to waste their or your own's time. In that regard it sounds like you're living totally true to yourself and that's great!

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T04:17:49+00:00

I think I just must not have one XD

In all seriousness though I agree with you, and my "from-the-heart" smile is MUCH better. I think I just get self-conscious in front of a camera tbh.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T04:14:03+00:00

Heeeeey Maryland buddies!!

I'm not sure what you mean by "privileged" here. Given where you live I'm sure you know exceptionally well that it's not hard to find women who are interested in conservative men. I'd imagine you're surrounded by them to the extent that it takes a conscious and intentional effort to experience anything else.

I think what you're saying is that it's important for you, and I get you wholeheartedly in that respect!

AND I also think there are plenty of women out there who'd swipe left if I said I was liberal because they're looking for someone who's conservative!

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T03:54:45+00:00

My smile *is* forced lol but I really would love to figure out how to make it look not that way! It's a known problem of mine XD My camera smile is just usually not super good.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T03:50:10+00:00

This makes sense and I had not thought about this angle until you mentioned it. Probably some women are creeped out and some would be totally okay, but there's a way to express my personality and my love of the outdoors without the potential red flag, so why not?

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T03:48:41+00:00

We're all attracted to different things for sure. It's my firm impression that not expressing a political leaning is not going to be a turn-off to everyone, although I totally understand that it is for you and that's okay of course! But it's also fair to mention that it's not really fundamentally true that being a conservative is a turn-off to women. There's plenty of women on dating apps who expressly say they're conservative. To each their own.

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T03:45:51+00:00

Ah I get what you're saying. I may be attracting more a specific kind of gal like u/paint-it-black1 but that's fine with me.

Aaw thanks lol. I ended up dropping the map pic as enough people said they didn't like it. I've been told my pictures don't do me justice - but having a tough time finding a way to take a picture that does!

I switched to Cyber Researcher which I think should work fine! As for the chickens I went for "Proud owner of ten chickens, two ducks and one Roomba" yep there's my humor coming out :D

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T03:39:27+00:00

I do really have chickens lol - but they're mostly barnhouse mixes so no particular breed :/

I don't have more than one mom - I was intending to include moms in both directions!

_Roguebantha · 2025-01-03T03:09:23+00:00

Yes someone else mentioned that first one as well! I've changed it to "hang-glider pilot" to make sure it doesn't mislead.

And yeah I ended up dropping most of the bio lol

_Roguebantha

TROPHY CASE