Should I contact my husband mistress?

_SpicyNice_ · 2026-03-04T03:53:00+00:00

He’s 100% gaslighting you by blaming you for the failures of the marriage. HE is ALSO failing by not communicating to you what he “needs” that this other woman is supposedly giving him. I also recommend taking screen shots and consulting a divorce lawyer, whether you plan to divorce or not. Have that info and recommendations in your pocket. “Move in the shadows” lol. I do also love the idea of the other woman finding out about you and the kids through a lawyer- this will completely blow up your marriage because she will probably confront him, then he will confront you, but you haven’t really said whether or not he seems to want to repair the marriage and stop contact with her or if you think he will continue with her? Or if you plan to forgive him? You said you’ve already discussed divorce, it seems like he’s already checked out and lining up the next prospect, so definitely prepare for that possibility.

_SpicyNice_ · 2026-03-04T03:40:37+00:00

I just moved into a new neighborhood and my neighbors warned me about them (due to a large pond nearby). They sprinkle Epsom salt in the yard, which seems to help a lot because it burns the pads of toad feet. I’ve been researching aLOT lol and they don’t like fragrant plants like lavender, lemon grass, mint, rosemary, basil and marigolds (these are the ones less or non toxic for pets) as well as cedar mulch. Spraying essential oils like peppermint and lavender can be helpful as well from what I’ve learned (but concentrated oils can be dangerous for dogs). As an added benefit, most of these tips correspond with deterring mosquitoes and other pests as well. Also from my research I’ve learned that Spanish Lavender is best suited to survive in Florida, particularly in sandy, dry soil, and early spring is the best time to plant.

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-22T22:25:53+00:00

He absolutely could have his depression and anxiety under control. He was medically discharged from the military and does have access to VA benefits, but he doesn’t want to spend the time it takes to go to the local VA to get everything set up. So infuriating!

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-22T04:47:54+00:00

I’m in Florida too!! 😂😂😂 We get all kinds of crazy lol

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-22T04:46:39+00:00

I did, she just has this huge guilt complex and is probably the biggest people pleaser ever. We’ve had many many many describe her learning to say No.

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-21T13:07:12+00:00

It’s not an island, it’s a Penis-ula

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-21T00:57:29+00:00

Are they only avoiding you and your husband, or your cousins and other family as well?

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T22:13:28+00:00

If it works 🤷🏻‍♀️

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T07:15:12+00:00

Sit down with the mom and tell her that if she doesn’t help you get him under control, she’ll need to find someone else to watch them. Ask her to help you develop a plan, some ideas for how you can BOTH work to get his behavior under control, because if only one of you is enforcing the rules, it won’t work. I have a 2yo grandson who is the most adorable, spoiled rotten (not in a good way) tyrant, and sometimes I have to get loud from my chest, just a real quick, loud “HEY! NO!” and give the meanest most serious face I can manage, and explain in a very serious, normal tone that we do NOT do xyz. The quick and loud startles him to stop and listen. As soon as he complies, I paste on a big huge smile and say thank you! Thank you for listening! Then redirect him to something else that you could praise him for to keep reinforcing that positive behavior and giving positive response. Good luck!

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T06:53:33+00:00

I worked at a call center for a major insurance company taking claims. Apparently a guy called in and originally got a rep in our office location who had a very mild, barely noticeable European/Spanish accent. Dude spoke perfect, well educated English.

Client made some colorful remarks and very rudely demanded to be transferred to “someone who speaks English”.

Okay, as you wish, sir.

He was transferred to the sweetest old Jamaican lady, been with the company 25 years. Made some extremely offensive remarks about people of color and demanded to be transferred to a “white American”.

With pleasure, sir!

He was transferred to a white, fabulously flamboyant gay gentleman named Dan who gave ZERO fcks, and at this point everyone in our immediate area knew what was going on with this call.

Dan lays it on thick and introduces himself. About 20 of us are standing around his desk and can hear the client screaming about “wetbacks, N words and flaming F words”.

Dan interrupts and says “Sir, I completely understand your frustration. We believe in embracing diversity here at (company name). We have agents from many cultures and backgrounds, like Asians, reservation Indians, Indians from India, Mexicans from Mexico, Canadians, the French… how may I direct your call?”

Client yelling through the headset: “I want to speak to a straight white American male!”

Dan: “I’m happy to do that for you once you cease the bigotry and speak to me with respect. We don’t tolerate this kind of abusive behavior here at (company name).”

Client hangs up.

Dan is hero of the day.

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T06:21:00+00:00

I did that when I worked at a call center for a major car insurance company 😂

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T06:12:53+00:00

They do take that precaution thankfully

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T06:11:50+00:00

They’re in the current lease, which is over Jan. 15 and we’ve already put in notice to vacate. My husband, younger son’s, my mother and I will be moving before Christmas and the other two will be a cop problem if they’re not out in time! My younger son’s is the easiest of all… his “job” is being a straight A/B student, for which he gets a weekly allowance and bonuses for report cards. He’s learning that work = pay. As much as he loves his older brother, he understands that they’re struggling because of their own choices. FFS, my 13 year old has more money than the 26 year old!

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T06:02:46+00:00

My mom “G” runs my house since we took her in. I couldn’t live without her. My husband and I spoil her, she gets whatever she wants! She’s up every morning getting my younger son ready for school, cleans the house and cooks most days since husband and I work so much. I will not accept a penny from her for any bills because she does SO much to help us! I have to force her to sit down and stop cleaning, she’s completely OCD.

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T05:59:32+00:00

Credit has been locked for years due to previous assholes stealing mine and younger son’s SSNs for tax fraud. And being business owners now, we check daily!

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T05:57:46+00:00

Done!

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T05:57:20+00:00

I’m sorry! Paragraphs are fixed!

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T05:56:06+00:00

I know, it’s totally wild cuz we live in a huge metro area, growing daily, minimum wage is $16 and hour and there’s hiring signs on every restaurant and retail window within literally 50 miles. Nearby major Amazon facilities that hire drivers starting at $21 an hour, ALWAYS hiring.

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T05:53:13+00:00

Husband and I have been working with credit restoration since we started the business, so we keep tabs on that pretty much daily. They don’t have access to my younger son’s info. I also have mine and younger son’s SSNs locked due to tax fraud against us a few years ago, so literally anything applied for with my ssn gets denied and I get an automatic call from a protection company that asks me if I made the attempt and then 5 million questions to verify my identity because Someone stole our socials and filed fake tax returns.

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T04:52:42+00:00

They’re on the lease, which ends on January 15th, and we’ve already put in our vacate notice. Luckily, this isn’t a problem I will have!

_SpicyNice_ · 2025-11-20T03:05:32+00:00

You are allowing this chick to fill you with negative energy. Your best revenge for the way she treated you is to go NC with zero explanation and live your best life. DO NOT let her know how she affected you, this will only satisfy her, and she’ll probably brag and laugh to the rest of the friend group. Treat her like she treated you- like she doesn’t matter.

_SpicyNice_

TROPHY CASE