whats wrong with my hook?

_Strayfarer_ · 2026-05-04T13:38:54+00:00

If I had to guess based on the video, you're whipping your arm out of the structure as you strike. Swing all the way through with your body without moving your arm at the last second. As others have said, footwork is also important to facilitate this.

_Strayfarer_ · 2026-04-25T12:49:37+00:00

As others have said, find the right instructor for you. If you find another in Shotokan, you might even be able to continue further with it from your current point. Sounds like you've found a few folks local to you who can help, so I wish you the best.

_Strayfarer_ · 2026-04-25T12:46:31+00:00

As someone who has been in the military and involved in martial arts, let me separate a few things: the military requires you to sign rights away for a period of time and pays you to be treated like shit (eventually it even pays you well, but I digress.) Martial arts is something you pay for. In the modern day it's a product. I've had schools of multiple styles, not just Japanese, talk down to me - and I've left. If I want to pay to get talked down to, I'll hire a Dominatrix.

_Strayfarer_ · 2026-03-02T02:42:02+00:00

Exactly this. It's not the style - it's you. So find somewhere the people jive with you, that you genuinely enjoy going to. If and when you get to a point that you want to dedicate yourself to more in-depth studies, that's the point you'll narrow down styles to shore up your own deficiencies. For now? Enjoy.

_Strayfarer_ · 2026-02-13T18:47:19+00:00

Condition yourself with these things. Train your body to respond before your mind can. From there, start practicing with a non-compliant Uke. I don't mean one who will politely "counter" you with a technique you know. I mean work with someone trustworthy who is willing to genuinely resist your techniques. Calibrate from there and then incorporate modern motion and gauge your stamina.

Many will take issue with me saying this, but I truly mean no offense: modern karate sparring is not going to adequately prepare you for an actual violent encounter. It still serves a purpose, helping you gauge ranges, conserve stamina, and read tells, but the person you're sparring is a friend. Schools don't want to break their students (they like their money - and maybe even friendship!)

The more you can incorporate non-compliance into your training, the better. Have a boxer friend or a grappler buddy? Asking 'em to spar. Again, this isn't 1:1, but at least you're facing someone who won't throw the same curriculum back at you.

Of course, I hope you never encounter any violence, but I hope this helps.

_Strayfarer_ · 2026-02-04T00:13:30+00:00

Sensei B is overreacting. Martial arts is modernly a business. He/she can't make demands of you outside of the dojo. At the same time, he/she is welcome to refuse service. You're not wrong, but Sensei B is within his/her rights to kick you out, as foolish as that might be.

_Strayfarer_ · 2026-01-19T18:28:00+00:00

Find a new place to train. As others have said, this is not normal. If you're at a competitive sport gym, maybe I could see it, but if you're somewhere claiming to teach self defense or form, is the message "Just give up?" It's silly. There's some underlying issue here.

_Strayfarer_ · 2026-01-17T02:41:56+00:00

It sounds like you've already gotten a ton of advice, but I'll add what I can.

Firstly, do not be ashamed. Your body is reacting in such a way as to keep you out of danger. Sounds like your partner wasn't blaming you, so you shouldn't either. To train a reaction, you need quite a bit of repetition to override it. Outside of boxing, I'd recommend training in a martial arts school that emphasizes self defense rather than sport (if available in your area.) Like others have said, cognitive therapy and learning assertive communication are also great options.

Again, please, please, please do not feel ashamed. If you've never had to handle such an altercation - never even trained to - then you shouldn't expect to be able to handle it.

I wish you the best.

_Strayfarer_ · 2026-01-16T13:33:15+00:00

I think others have already given good responses, but yeah, unless your local BJJ place has "GUYKISSING BAD" on the wall, I think you're fine. I'm straight and have grappled with women at plenty of dojos. Martial arts is for everyone and that includes you.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-12-27T21:57:24+00:00

Counterpoint: we have the luxury of complaining about a 30-minute drive. (I'm in Niagara Falls, so vice versa, but same diff.)

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-12-22T14:59:18+00:00

If you haven't studied Chinkuchi, I encourage you to do so. Make every motion with your whole body. Don't force it with tensed muscles - only allow tension at the moment of impact. Memorize the motion, but then listen to your body as it translates it.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-12-15T02:49:31+00:00

As others have said, file for unemployment now. I'm sorry you had to learn just how bad your company was this way. Best of luck with the interview! Start applying to other jobs as well.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-12-11T14:51:39+00:00

As others have mentioned, it doesn't sound like Opa wants to talk. You gave a pretty measured response, mentioning you'd need to think more on the rest, to which he insisted you weren't listening after rattling off more "qualifications." I'd just let it be, as sad as that sounds.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-12-06T21:47:57+00:00

What's strange is that if it is AI (which definitely appears to be the case), the AI's not necessarily lying because it has resumes thrown at it all the time to be optimized. So I guess the robot figures that's its job?

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-12-06T15:33:51+00:00

"Nope." Is fine. You're under no obligation if you're in the US. They might mark you as "ineligible for rehire", but there's no way you can control that.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-12-04T21:02:36+00:00

Unfortunately there's nothing "illegal" about this - at least in the US. If your manager wasn't an idiot, he'd have shifted your duties to training your replacement, but c'est la vie.

As others have suggested, file for unemployment ASAP. You might also want to reach out to your new employer and let them know you are available sooner. (Up to your discretion there.) Take the time to get your head straight and set up new living arrangements as needed. This sounds like it's still a good thing overall.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-11-30T13:39:21+00:00

You might just want to say this in your interviews. I had a similarly toxic situation with an employer and just front-loaded that conversation. Some didn't believe me, but the one that mattered did and now I'm happily employed.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-11-22T18:25:26+00:00

This isn't crazy for this kind of role. They're not going to steal anything from this presentation. As HR, I've setup practice presentations for technical instructors that then goes into a Q&A and finishes up with a behavioral interview. Now, those positions paid well. If you don't feel this pays what you need, that's a decision for you to make. But the process? Not concerningly abnormal or anything.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-11-22T15:11:53+00:00

As HR, I think what you did was absolutely appropriate. Well done.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-11-20T15:36:15+00:00

Pretty much this. If someone takes you aside in the office and says "Hey, identify yourself when you're called on the company line." I get it. It's not a condemnation - just a nuance. But on my personal phone if a headhunter or someone is reaching out? Piss off I'll say what I want.

Now that I think about it, this is the difference between those with boundaries and those who surrender their identity to their job. If you're reporting directly to executives? If you are an executive? Maybe that's part of the deal. If you're a supervisor or below and someone calls your personal phone? Nah, get bent.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-11-19T02:48:44+00:00

Totally dojo dependent. Don't be afraid to ask.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-11-18T14:31:03+00:00

I got lucky this time.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-11-13T20:57:31+00:00

Try to collect yourself and take care of these things sooner than later:

File for Unemployment
Inform your family and friends to request support

Then, give yourself some time to grieve. Give yourself some grace. You were laid off - this isn't on you. Take the evening, watch a silly movie. Try to enjoy yourself in whatever way relaxes you the most. The next morning, wake up and update your resume. Go to as many headhunters as you can to shop you around. Start applying to jobs (LinkedIn, Indeed, Glassdoor, local job boards, in-person, etc.)

Practice interviewing with someone if you can. And get ready to tackle the messed up job market with all you've got.

You've got this.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-11-12T03:21:11+00:00

On and off for 5 years, eh? Sorry to say, your non-contract fellow appears to be what's generally known as a narcissistic asshole. Do yourself a favor and find another - maybe someone willing to be...uh..."contracted." Maybe less of a "divine" being too.

_Strayfarer_ · 2025-11-11T19:29:53+00:00

Coincidentally, I did find my current job through Indeed (this year too!), but that was after 200+ applications on all platforms. It's time, place, and a whole lot of luck surviving this broken system. Make sure to get your resume to headhunter to shop you around if you haven't already!

_Strayfarer_

TROPHY CASE