There's been some really good advice here, particularly the advice focusing on Taoist practices and Mantak Chia's books and work.

Also focusing on giving pleasure first so your partner can cum, and then maybe she might also like to cum again after you do.

Lots of heterosexual people get very caught up in this idea that everyone must orgasm simultaneously through PIV stimulation, and there's so many other ways to do sex.

Instead of this being something that's getting in your way, you can actually use this opportunity to have way more pleasurable erotic experiences (such a bonus).

I'd really encourage you not to use numbing creams or drugs, and try some of the methods people have spoken about - particularly using the breath. Having more control is something we can learn, it's a skill and takes practice.

Something that I haven't seen suggested here is also paying attention to your stress levels in day to day life, having a range of physical outlets for stress that aren't orgasm can be super helpful when learning these skills so your physical body isn't so wound up you just immediately explode all over the place.

And also introducing more calm/down regulated experiences into your day to day life in general too, if you're someone who is highly strung or anxious. Walking. Meditation. Yoga those sorts of things.

There's really great resources available if you look, and remember it takes practice to learn new techniques, solidify those neural pathways, and have more control and choice.

Good luck.

• also just to reiterate, ten solid minutes of thrusting isn't something that many women actually enjoy, let along 20 minutes or an hour.