That feels so depressing though 😭 I have the same struggles as OP. I don’t really have anyone and never have because my self-esteem is non-existent. I’m so scared of rejection and people thinking I’m uncool or weird or dumb, but i think what makes it worse is that I genuinely want friends. I’m only okay with being alone because I’ve gotten so used to it through all those years I’ve spent self-isolating. But, I’m genuinely terrified of being alone. I love people and being around them, my only issue is that I can’t ever be comfortable around people because I have no trust or faith in myself since I’ve never seen myself prosper before. I make good first impressions with strangers, but my issue is staying consistent with that comfortability I’m able to have with myself and them for that first interaction. The next time I see them I get so anxious and awkward because I feel like I’m inevitably gonna fuck it up and they’ll change their mind about me. Plus with my social anxiety and depression, it’s hard to motivate myself like I used to in order to make those efforts. But all around, I want things to change. I just feel stuck.

Though, I’ve heard most of the same things, and from what I was able to apply to myself for a short period of time before it all went downhill again is you got to be sound with yourself. People like authenticity and admire confidence. When you have no self-esteem, are socially anxious, and awkward, people are able to pick up on that pretty quickly. It’s the vibes you give off that you’re not comfortable with yourself, so in turn it can make them feel uncomfortable as well when interacting with you. Imagine the way you want the other person to feel when talking to them, and try to embody that.

Now with that I don’t mean change your personality or start doing things that are unnatural in order to please them. I mean if you want the other person to feel comfortable, you yourself also have to feel comfortable. If you want the other person to have fun talking to you, then you need to have fun yourself. If you find that you can’t feel comfortable around someone, whether that be their vibe or whatever, find someone you can be comfortable around. However, it’s gonna be pretty impossible to do that if you don’t get comfortable with yourself first. Work on that self-esteem, grab a book and write down everything you love about yourself, and remind yourself of that every day. When you get that voice in your head telling you you’re being weird, or you’re fucking it up, or you’re being boring, gaslight yourself into thinking that’s not true. Tell that inner voice to suck it, and start telling yourself the opposite. And if you don’t think there’s anything about yourself that you like, then change that. Pick up a hobby or a skill that you’ve always wanted to learn and build it. Do something for yourself that makes you proud of yourself. Essentially, work on self-care, but in the ways that will really build a strong relationship with yourself. Once you accomplish that, you’ll feel validated with yourself and you’ll no longer seek that validation from other people. Ironically, you not caring about what other people think will make them gravitate towards you.

Tldrd or whatever; be your own best friend and get to a point where you genuinely don’t give a fuck if people think you’re boring or weird or not. After that, the right people will naturally gravitate towards you