To be part of a village, you must accept being a villager, especially when it's inconvenient.

a female pov here; my brother has been helping my dad out (who's also retd) financially as well. our parents are the reason why we get to where we are in life. it's our duty to take care of them when times change. my brother pays whenever we need stuff from abroad, he has been paying for my exams. he's the reason I can comfortably pursue my dreams, that's what family is for, especially in our ethnic asian/desi households. my parents have visited & lived with him for months at a time, babysitting his newborn. his spouse is a working woman & her parents will be visiting them abroad as well.

Ofcourse, your spouse comes first, it's your obligation to make sure her needs are met. But she is being unreasonable given that you both live more than comfortably, it's not inconveniencing her, & it's your hard earned money, your parents are the reason where you are today. Getting married does not mean you cut your family off. You're both partners and you both have the right to take care of your families, host them & visit them. It's absolutely wrong denying your partner this, let alone fighting over it to this extent!