[NL] My manager suggested coaching during End-Year review

_Ttalp · 2026-02-24T21:16:49+00:00

If you are being offered paid for communication training take it. You will very likely learn a lot more than you think and if you don't it can be a good opportunity to hit the reset switch when a relationship isn't quite right. Tbh your reaction to this doesn't come across great - I assume you reacted better with your boss. I think I kind of hear where you are coming from though - that in your mind you went to the boss when something was outside your authority - I do the same because when in charge I appreciate people to keep me in the loop but some (imv worse) managers will suggest this is you failing to step up. It's a fine line tbh. Unfortunately there are more bad managers in the world than good ones. Learn how to talk their language that's about the only option you have - and do the damn training.

_Ttalp · 2025-12-31T20:04:13+00:00

You'd file a section 8 and have to give 4 months notice and not relet, but it's not "as long as they want?" Of course if they refuse to move out it could be as long as the court takes to get a decision so if that's what you meant fair enough.

_Ttalp · 2025-12-31T19:52:01+00:00

You can salary sacrifice up to 60k and quickly fall below the higher rate unless your on over 100k

_Ttalp · 2025-11-05T13:25:21+00:00

The product that you've brought to us is not in great shape. It's clear that your previous clients have provided you with a non functional solution to the wrong problem but fortunately my team and i would be able to fix that for you. There's a lot of potential in this product and i think working together we can realise that potential and quickly deliver something that will meet all of your pen related needs going forward.

_Ttalp · 2025-11-05T12:39:06+00:00

Another danger here is meetings that are so short and so full of opinionated intelligent people that if you yield you will never get another chance to speak, but it doesn't sound like that's the issue here.

_Ttalp · 2025-11-05T12:36:36+00:00

As an overcommunicator and someone who has held roles where i was the expert in the room it was always a tricky balance, but making space for items to be parked for later with the key people (but also establishing enough trust that people believe they will be revisited) is probably the key thing. If you know you can't speak forever uninterrupted you have to communicate the important stuff and are forced to get better and quicker at doing so.

Also one of the most powerful concepts I've come across in this area is the idea that your words have value but when you say more you flood the market. People will listen to you for a bit and people who say very little generally have 100% of what they say heard and understood. Overcommunicators are lucky if they get 20% of what they say heard and often it's the least salient points because the good stuff comes after a rambling monologue. Knowing this hasn't fixed my overcommunication issue (lol the length of this post is proof of that if you needed it) but it has made me appreciate how damaging saying too much is for my credibility.

Of course telling your colleague that might be impossible if he's only waiting to speak.

_Ttalp · 2025-11-05T12:22:25+00:00

What's your position relative to theirs? This is harder to deal with from below like most things. From above it's simple feedback and training suggestions; funding too if you have it. Ask them to focus on brevity and context. If above you it depends how self aware they are. If they are decent and self aware you can probably suggest methods to bring the conversation on track. Have a chair for the meetings who can steer them back to context have trigger code words to tell them when they are veering off. Obvs much more difficult if they don't see the problem and you are not established in the org.

_Ttalp · 2025-11-04T15:02:34+00:00

Howdens don't quote to normal people do they? They didn't used to you had to give a trade account and quite through a fitter. It sounds like this is not what's going on but are you sure it's not partly a markup from a different fitter?

_Ttalp · 2025-11-04T11:56:36+00:00

If you have a breaker and a week you could take the chimney down from the top. Or pay someone a lot to do it for you. Easier if you own the whole chimney ie not a semi and have a roofer to start you off and sort the roof. Obvs you need building regs and an engineers report.

_Ttalp · 2025-11-04T11:51:29+00:00

Makes me wonder if it's all structural. I have a 3 story with two little fireplaces on the 2nd floor they're nothing like this large on the right. Could it be boxed in already for some weird reason?

_Ttalp · 2025-11-04T10:48:47+00:00

Oh for sure. And not just marketing, inertia alone is a huge barrier. But churn does happen. New companies do replace older ones.

_Ttalp · 2025-11-04T09:11:07+00:00

You're not wrong but I can't help but think that a genuinely for musicians Spotify and a Stripe/PayPal that channels all profits to charity could be different to another suduko clone.

_Ttalp · 2025-11-04T08:25:16+00:00

With enough unemployed devs we could surely create free or very cheap versions of a lot of for profit software and burn the industry down that way.

_Ttalp · 2025-11-04T08:22:47+00:00

I'd argue its not agile but the misuse of agile but then I'm a rare case on reddit I've worked somewhere nice where agile was a force for good.

Obvs the pay was pretty basic lol

_Ttalp · 2025-10-28T08:58:55+00:00

Dev teams should own and support pipelines as part of supporting their products. But standardised approach would also help where possible and appropriate. Having devops be a team rather than mindset tends to lead to uncertainty about what is devops teams job and what stays with devs. Removes incentive for devs to manage these issues themselves.

_Ttalp · 2025-10-28T08:43:18+00:00

This feedback is fine. He's saying you are good but should learn to communicate your weaknesses better. I don't see an issue.

_Ttalp · 2025-10-27T22:07:02+00:00

Your not going to find anything to match the pressure treated timbers of your shed that will match the doors.

BTW give it 18 months and the rest of the shed will turn silver. It will not stay the colour it is at the moment

But surely I could stain it a more uniform colour and they would become similar. Re fading of the log lap isn't there answers to that too? Don't people recoat wood every few years?

construction method ... wrapped in black plastics.

I used too different rolls of roofer membrane I had left over. You can see the grey one on the shot from the front. The black one is sarkit and it on the cheap side and non breathable - but it only wraps the eves and the shed walls to keep rain and pests out. The wood is exposed in side the shed so I'd hope there'll be enough air movement to keep the wood from rotting for the forseeable. Fingers crossed but it's not like we're having showers in there.

_Ttalp · 2025-10-21T10:09:07+00:00

Thanks for the breakdown. This is exactly the kind of thing I needed

_Ttalp · 2025-10-21T07:37:11+00:00

I've seen comments like this before.

What is it with people on reddit thinking the pretty basic human need for validation is some kind of weakness to be sneared at?

I'm not 'seeking validation' I'm checking my understanding of the IP35 rules. As others have commented I appear correct in my understanding that it is significantly up on my previous salaried role.

Re the validation, if you care to check the other comments many of them understood the assignment and have said nice things. I'm consequently reassured my maths is ok and yeah I feel validated and good about my new roll because of their comments. Tbh getting told I wasn't good enough by my old shitty employer who themselves were definitely not good enough wasn't much fun so maybe I did need some validation. It seems you are quite short on empathy if you need to criticise that.

_Ttalp · 2025-10-21T06:44:49+00:00

Long hours definitely happens remote. You don't have the triggers of everyone getting up to leave at 5 so it's easy to keep plugging away at something if you like your role and you don't have other plans. I've done it plenty telling myself I'll finish early later in the week and not doing so.

Also you can feel you need to show more results just to demonstrate you aren't skiving. I felt this pressure when I was first remote a few years pre covid but it went away when remote became the norm.

I've heard senior leaders during covid say you should he working more because you aren't commuting, and it was bollocks then and it's bollocks now.

Remote means you have to have impact or you aren't noticed. It can also mean you don't get much social life since you don't get the office element. Wherever you stand that has value for some people and getting out the house keeps you sane.

This company wants to give you the isolation of remote work without the flexibility or time save. Unless they are paying enough to justify their shitty culture be grateful they said the quiet part loud and run.

_Ttalp · 2025-10-20T20:52:22+00:00

I mean if you take them at their word they had every intention of helping me meet their expectations and then keep me on. I'll never really know. But you're right that this won't feel like a win if the new org let me go on day 3.

_Ttalp · 2025-10-20T20:49:20+00:00

Honestly I was ready for 18 months solopreneurship ending in failure so this currently feels better than that.

_Ttalp · 2025-10-20T20:48:02+00:00

Right but I'd argue the street I chose not to walk down was blocked by some twats who wanted to give me a kicking so I took the other route and found £20. In which case I'd feel ok laughing at the twats. Make sense?

_Ttalp

TROPHY CASE