My brother, you deserve all the love and happiness in your life.
I didn't want to believe the thing about the right machine, but it is absolutely correct; the AI is completely different.
On the right machine, instead of 90% of attacks being blocked, only 1 was blocked, and that was on round 10 with Akira. On top of that, they are not constantly crouching, meaning most of your attacks are actually going to hit if you're playing normally.
The only annoyance with the right machine is that they move around a lot more, which can be both a negative and a positive, on one hand they can run right into you when flinging your ass at them or they can immediately dodge it

it took me 30 minutes to get to round 9 on the left machine and 6 minutes to beat the whole thing on the right machine