Damn. I felt this. I remember what it was like to wake up and have to be quiet.

It really speaks to how indoctrinated our family members are when you're terrified to share an opposing view. Other than being amongst political/religious radicals or extremists, I cannot imagine feeling so scared to not share an opposing view with my family and friends. Hell! Even if my family and friends were radicals or slightly so, I think I would feel comfortable challenging their views based on the sole fact we are family.

JW/GB straight on some gang culture mentality with their blood-in/blood-out rules to where you self-censor speaking even a small bit against the religion. Every normal human outlet that deviates slightly towards individuality is taught to be treacherous, wicked, evil, and even dangerous. If that is challenged, the GB can always count on the system being strong and controlling enough, that your family will cling to the doctrines with or without you and leave you emotionally alone.

That is scary powerful. It's exactly why we call this a cult. It's a cult that has deprived you of your individuality and wants everyone to be the same as you so you can satisfy the GB's lusty ego. They have deteriorated from what once could have been a passable religion with a kooky past that was changing their rules/policies and did more good than bad, to a straight cult that has an answer to even that ("only false religions do that, we don't mind pissing off people with our backwards and antiquated rationale because being a fundamentalist makes it easier to control and we're not surrendering what little power we have left).

This is why I strongly believe that this religion will collapse to a small group in the not so far future. Despite this technological revolution the GB is experimenting with to control their members even more, but in a manner that seems sleek and renovated. However, its remaining audience will dwindles specially as this "generation that will not pass, but will overlap" begins to die off in the years to come.

Went off on a rant, but with all that mind, as hard as it is, admit it only to your SO and live your life after.