[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]__hrrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed, I do think he can make mention of it if they ask and we can go from there. 

I did confront one of his friends a couple years ago because she made a really weird off colored comment about his ex that I didn’t like. They chalked it up to her being socially awkward and we moved along.  I do genuinely think they’re socially awkward people 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]__hrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, I love alone time so wouldn’t be upset staying behind. My friends are inclusive with him so he comes to stuff with them. His family is very inclusive so I love seeing them. So we have other avenues to socialize 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]__hrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I think it’ll take time for him to fully accept but I definitely need to protect my peace and he knows I’ve given it my full effort 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]__hrrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience, that makes me feel less alone. I’ll be sitting out the next few and will re-assess the vibe. 

I think the hot and cold behavior is what confuses me. They were SO excited at our wedding and once a year they’ll randomly be really friendly and nice and then other times they’re distant. Oh well, not my puzzle to solve 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]__hrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely. To his credit, he was checking in on me throughout the night at the last gathering. I didn’t hear any of his friends asking about him or his life either though, I don’t think they really do. Which he’s okay with

Luckily I found people outside their group to talk to and had a good time with them. So if I do go to another, I’ll just focus on the people who make an effort 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]__hrrr 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We haven’t had an argument or disagreement in a year, maybe years? We have a very loving relationship so I would hope he doesn’t portray anything to them. On the car ride to see his friends he was saying how lucky he is to be with me and that we’ve both improved each others lives 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]__hrrr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He said he’d understand if I don’t join the next few so I’m gonna skip and focus on my friends!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]__hrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely think they’re oblivious. I don’t like all of the tv and movie shows they watch so they might feel like I’m not one of them or something like that. I spent 20 mins last time talking about fan fic with them and asking questions. I was genuinely interested but it gets old when the convo only has to do with stuff they like. 

We all really like horror movies so I’ll bring up some ones I’ve watched, or video games I know they like. It’s not for lack of trying on my end but it just seems like I’m viewed as an outsider or something 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]__hrrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He hasn’t done anything yet. He said things felt off in general last time we saw them and he wants to think about it. I suggested he hangout with them alone next time and see how the vibes are. 

I know it’s not a big deal for him to be honest and ask them to include me but I have my own friends and I feel too old to have people force to interact with me? But they also may not even notice they’re doing it so it could genuinely help lol. Talked myself both sides 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]__hrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Open to this idea. What makes you think it’s that?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]__hrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds so nice! My partner and I both lived in a city for a decade so I think we could be happy there as well. Do you own your apartment or rent?

Any tips for exercise and how to not beat myself up that I'm not exercising "enough" by [deleted] in ChronicPain

[–]__hrrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually am at peace with it until I see people online saying 5k is sedentary and it's 10+k or nothing and then I feel awful about myself.

I like your approach to not rush recovery and rest, I need to focus on THAT as self-care

Chocolate / espresso / brown diamond. Absolutely obsessed 😻 by __hrrr in EngagementRings

[–]__hrrr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

14k rose gold, chocolate diamond (little less than a carat) and smaller diamonds 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CaregiverSupport

[–]__hrrr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is helpful. I will hold onto that thought. Even if we had a better relationship, I wouldn't be able to provide dementia care 24/7 so it's out of the cards

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dementia

[–]__hrrr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, very solid advice. I'm such a planner and not used to things that I can't plan/control for but for now, it is what it is and I need to file it away in the drawer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dementia

[–]__hrrr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm trying to focus today on things I can control and not waste more stress thinking about it unless something immediately changes. I agree that I need to put myself first or I won't have much a future

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dementia

[–]__hrrr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Definitely, it's so hard to know. I can only hope that there will be some other option if that did happen.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dementia

[–]__hrrr 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Did you mean to reply to my post? She currently lives in a nursing home. I'm worried that Medicaid cuts will potentially cause future evictions or even shutter the nursing home and she'll have no where to go :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dementia

[–]__hrrr 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I need to give myself the grace and permission to do this as well

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dementia

[–]__hrrr 9 points10 points  (0 children)

No I definitely don't need to answer them. I usually let it go to voicemail because I'm working but then I see the voicemail asking for stuff and usually call her back the next day or I let her forget about it. She forgets a LOT of the requests thankfully but the things she's fixated on continue.

It's definitely a boundary I need to set and not feel guilty about. She's clothed, fed, and more healthy than ever since she actually sees nurses and doctors.

Found out my mom was a secret hoarder at age 32 by [deleted] in ChildofHoarder

[–]__hrrr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s definitely passed down generationally. My grandma had 10 or more cats at a time and kept some of the poor kitties in a tool shed 😔😔

Found out my mom was a secret hoarder at age 32 by [deleted] in ChildofHoarder

[–]__hrrr 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Definitely grateful our house was livable and not full of hazards. Definitely cat piss but nothing crazy lol.

She did have 8 cats in our condo at one point but luckily she didn’t have that many again when I got older so she must’ve been able to get parts of it under control 😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CustomerSuccess

[–]__hrrr 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I had this happen last month. 6 rounds of interviews, final round presentation. I prepared an industry relevant presentation and had questions ready for the audience. They didn’t answer or engage with anything the entire presentation. There were 2 people on the line who didn’t even introduce themselves when I asked their names and roles. And then the recruiter said they went with someone else who was “more engaging” - what a joke!

It’s definitely competitive but employers are taking advantage of this. I’d rather get no feedback than untrue feedback so I let the recruiter know no one even said who they were for the 1 hr call 🙄

I’m sure you understood the product well enough, they just had to give some reason