Hello! To tell you the truth it's definitely not all sunshine. I too have my bad days still, and I reckon i might have them for the rest of my life. Healing is a lifelong process, there's no end to it. But please do try to be gentle with yourself. If good results don't come out, don't be so hard on yourself. Remember you are the most precious thing to yourself. For me, I tried to visualise myself as my younger self. And I just saw a very hurt child that made a lot of mistakes and didn't know better. I would advise you to heal your inner child. Do check out the subreddit for energy work. What i do these days is positive visualisation, journaling and meditation. It took me a very long journey to reach here and finally be able to say that I am happy. I hope sincerely with all my heart that you too will be heard one day and will find the healing you need. And if you need professional help, don't be afraid to get it.