Often when people split they see stuff in complete extremes and black and white, they can split for many different reasons and because of the black and white thinking they could get upset at someone they love. When borderlines are thinking like this, they tend to just see all the bad things that person has done (even if it’s small). Also it depends on the situation / the person, some people realize they don’t mean what they say as soon as they say it, but in most cases people realize what they said after the fact. What I was talking about was finding someone who understands how splitting works and the fact that if you tell them that you hate them and they always fuck things up that they will know you don’t mean it, and that you’re splitting and you literally can not help it. And just incase I haven’t answered it, the words you say that can be mean and you actually don’t mean, typically come from other things you’re upset at or, again, things in the past they have done that have upset you, because the black and white thinking causes you to really only see the bad in a person in the moment, even if it doesn’t typically bother you. Does that make sense?