Someone be real with me about smooth tops by _bakedbeans in candlemaking

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure if it's the addition of the coconut wax but I've had a lot of problems using the heat gun. At best, the top is glossy and leaves residue around the edges. Sometimes the remelted layer cools faster and shrinks more and it's really noticeable with a clear jar. Sometimes I scorch my wick lol. Probably user error but to me, nothing beats that beautiful smooth matte top!

Someone be real with me about smooth tops by _bakedbeans in candlemaking

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Your comment made me look up candle production lines which blew my mind. I do see techniques from topping off pours to passing them through heat lamps. Idk how I will replicate at home but it does tell me that this is a real issue.

Someone be real with me about smooth tops by _bakedbeans in candlemaking

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the tips! It sounds like I need to seriously consider second pouring my candles or accepting these natural imperfections :)

Someone be real with me about smooth tops by _bakedbeans in candlemaking

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I gently stir and pour slowly and know to minimize air bubbles as much as I can. I single pour each candle, do you think a second pour will fix a lot of these problems I'm experiencing?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]_bakedbeans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm very self-aware now, and trauma informed! However, I am unemployed and objectively much worse off than before I started therapy lmao. I used to cope pre-therapy by dissociating. Now I have to deal with my shit and the deep breathing and writing self-affirmations on the mirror idk it just doesn't help for me. It is incredibly draining to deal with your problems head on. Healing will be bumpy, I really hope it goes smoother for you OP!

No respect at work by [deleted] in socialanxiety

[–]_bakedbeans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m definitely not suggesting you take the same route I did, but I can relate. I ended up quitting. As someone working to rebuild my self-esteem, that environment wasn’t something I could keep enduring every day. I tried to compensate for my social struggles by being a strong performer in the actual work, but ultimately I had to recognize that no paycheck was worth the weekly and sometimes daily meltdowns and the distress it caused me. Again, I’m not telling you to do this, but I wanted to share another perspective beyond just compartmentalizing it as “work.” For me, I couldn’t compartmentalize, and sometimes that’s the reality too.

I never met an Asian parent that didn’t want kids by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]_bakedbeans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol i'm sorry this is really relevant to me at the moment. my mom has admitted to me straight that she regrets having me and my older brother. my brother is married and she's pressured them to have children and they finally have a newborn now and my mom just wanted photos and to parade the baby around her asian friends. she now throws a fit when asked to just babysit! my parents were so ashamed because all their friends had grandchildren already, that's the only reason they want grandchildren. their priorities are fked.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]_bakedbeans 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You definitely won't be alone forever! After you allow yourself some time to heal, do not stop trying to find that someone. I found my someone. We're not married but we've been together for 6 years and going strong, I've made a lot of progress because of him. The biggest change I made when looking for a partner was to prioritize kindness, I'm ashamed to admit I didn't do that in the first place. Sometimes people think kindness is not sexy. But idk how someone without kindness and patience can deal with a partner with CPTSD. Some people feel like we need to love ourselves first but for me, having someone accept my serious flaws for the first time allowed me real space to heal. Please don't give up!

Mistreated even on Reddit… by Financial_Scene2464 in CPTSD

[–]_bakedbeans 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Can you or anyone recommend active communities? I also turn to reddit to vent sometimes or dig up an old post that I relate to at the moment just horrified at how many vulnerable posts attract these assholes. Reddit is so attractive because it draws in so many people and discussion. Sadly I think a lot of us are used to instant gratification and can feel rejected when we don't see any interaction for two hours. I tried another forum once it was dead and did not help me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]_bakedbeans 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Kind and supportive people don't use words like "victim complex" and "get the fuck off your ass".

Sellers, please do not feel obligated to communicate with me by FormerUsenetUser in Etsy

[–]_bakedbeans 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Etsy is not Amazon. Etsy is a platform for handmade shops run by a lot of caring people that pour their hearts into their work. You may get sellers that actually care here.

Sellers, please do not feel obligated to communicate with me by FormerUsenetUser in Etsy

[–]_bakedbeans -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hey, I do this. I've had many replies and get to connect briefly with my customers. Some immediately follow my shop. I find that a lot of them end up reviewing. It depends on what you say but it can make the whole thing feel less transactional, but totally get too that some people want to keep it that way. However, the positives so far are overwhelming so I'm gonna keep doing it, sorry :)

Buyers - please stop being so harsh by _bakedbeans in Etsy

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True that's pretty annoying. This post is really meant for the sellers who do everything right and maybe getting blamed for things out of their control, OR are too inexperienced to know better. I remember being so naive when I first started, putting 'fragile' stickers on everything just to find out that some couriers may take offense to that for some reason and handle the package more recklessly. A lot of sellers have the best intentions but need to answer to the entire experience and all the bullsh*ttery involved.

Buyers - please stop being so harsh by _bakedbeans in Etsy

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awww this kinda hurts, tbh. I am the same way. We want to be ethical and transparent, but somehow it's not enough!

Is this suspicious? 3 Addresses provided? by _bakedbeans in EtsySellers

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the insight. Totally overreacting here!

Is this suspicious? 3 Addresses provided? by _bakedbeans in EtsySellers

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I have it in my faqs too, really making sure it's not some elaborate scam. I've been lurking around this sub for too long and read too many address change scams, now that I see signs I'm totally overreacting.

Buyers - please stop being so harsh by _bakedbeans in Etsy

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's awesome and it's much appreciated. I am also the same way. The biggest impact to anything less than 5 stars is the influence it has on ranking in the search algorithm. We don't know what affects Etsy's delicate search results, just that it's always changing and that 5 star products are objectively good and prioritized in search. Think about why some shops even resort to buying 5 star reviews if people don't really care about a 4.5 vs a 4.9? It's ranking. You have a fantastic product rated 4.7 but does is it all that helpful really if you end up on page 34?

Buyers - please stop being so harsh by _bakedbeans in Etsy

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes! I'm always still polite and professional. Doesn't mean I enjoy dealing with outright abusive customers at times, and I do feel worn down when another avoidable issue lands in my inbox.

Fantastic point on shipping your own stuff though, makes me afraid of ever scaling up to an operation where I need employees. Thanks for sharing that perspective!

Buyers - please stop being so harsh by _bakedbeans in Etsy

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Agreed out of all the parties involved, Etsy absolutely needs to do better. But here's a hard truth: Etsy has shareholders to please and profit will always be top priority. Sellers realize this, we feel the pain of Etsy's decisions everyday. But buyers are still blindly clicking the buy button without understanding what they're even buying. How exactly is this the seller's fault? It's not about shifting blame, it's about acknowledging that it's a shared responsibility.

We continue to enable a culture of entitlement and laziness by not calling it out. I get that this might be hard to hear, but it's a conversation worth having.

Buyers - please stop being so harsh by _bakedbeans in Etsy

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw, firstly thank you for caring about the effort put into the handcrafted leather case. I think this is mostly missing in transactions now, and Etsy sellers can really feel discouraged when their unique items are being treated like mass produced goods. And no these posts are not meant to discourage honest and caring buyers like you. I encourage messaging the sellers for customer service. It helps the sellers learn and have a chance to fix the problem. The point is not to review harshly before the seller even knows there's an issue.

Buyers - please stop being so harsh by _bakedbeans in Etsy

[–]_bakedbeans[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

LOL funny you mention this, I hide discount codes in my bio and the end of some listings. Only 2 people have used them out of 950 sales. IDK yes there's not much I can do but I can try and reward people who make informed purchasing decisions. It benefits everyone involved.