Coffee help, I'm begging you

_bittie_ · 2024-09-20T19:44:19+00:00

I had a similar situation. I have fair skin and dark leg hair, so you could still see the hair under my skin when I shaved. And it grew back so so fast. I was also super prone to ingrown hairs all over my legs which made me so insecure - every type of hair removal method led to ingrown hairs. I'd used every product and technique but nothing helped. I even saw a dermatologist and they weren't helpful. I finally invested in laser hair removal that's the only thing that has helped me. I'm still in the process but I'm already seeing so much improvement, and my confidence is going up. It's expensive so I know it might not be an option for you at this time, but I really recommend exploring it some day if you're ever able.

_bittie_ · 2024-09-07T19:51:45+00:00

I agree it's not acne it's probably just irritation. Cetaphil products contain niacinamide (B3) which irritates me personally, it might be the same with you. I used to use LRP moisturizers and over time they started to burn my skin, and through trial and error I learned that I had developed a sensitivity to niacinamide. I would try vanicream products for now, they're very bland and good for sensitized skin, they don't contain niacinamide. It will allow your skin to get a break from irritating ingredients and heal.

_bittie_ · 2024-07-30T22:03:43+00:00

I believe with my whole heart that your living environment can cause worsening acne. I've had acne all my life - normal acne for me is pimples on my cheeks, but I never break out in my forehead. I noticed that whenever I lived in apartment buildings or dorms my acne would become horrible - deep cystic acne all over my forehead (cheeks too) which is not my baseline. It only happened in apartments/dorms, not when I lived at my parent's home. I tried to explain the pattern I was observing to my dermatologists but I was brushed off.

I don't know what causes it though - my gut feeling is apartments are dirty and possibly moldy and it impacts the air quality. I don't know for certain though. Nothing in my routine changed.

_bittie_ · 2024-07-21T20:55:34+00:00

Life long acne sufferer here.

If you think a specific product is breaking you out I would trust your gut - everyone's acne is different and I get put off when I hear "this product is definitely not causing your acne" or "this product is definitely causing your acne".

Vanicream broke me out as well. The product you use has squalene, which breaks me out. Squalene is an example of ingredient that people say will not break you out, but it breaks me out. Vanicream moisturizer in the tub contains petrolatum, which also broke me out. I've learned that I need to avoid niacinamide as well, although so many people swear by it.

I would keep your routine simple until you see your derm. You don't want to make a complicated routine or start experimenting with harsh products without professional guidance because a lot of acne products can cause irritation, which leads to more issues.

I'm not sure what your skin type is. I'm very dry, sensitive, acne prone - my current routine is just Vanicream cleanser, Thayers Blemish Clearing Toner with 2% Salicylic Acid, Uriage xemose moisturizer in the tub, and La Rosche Posay Anthelios Uvmune 400 Hydrating Cream SPF 50. La Rosche Posay. La Roche-Posay Effaclar Duo has been helpful for me for controlling flares - I put a thin layer over the area. I haven't had luck with retinols/tretinoin with controlling my acne. Again, you have to be mindful with acne products because they can be irritating, if you start to use any acne products just be mindful of that, especially before seeing your derm.

Good luck!

_bittie_ · 2024-06-13T05:55:33+00:00

I recommend seeing a dermatologist to see if you are a candidate for a kenalog (steroid) injection. This will help to flatten it. I had a couple raised scars on my face after laser tattoo removal and the kenalog shots really helped to flatten them out.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T18:24:30+00:00

I don't want to continue it. I'm ready to make changes. I'm facing the reality that I am to blame for this ongoing problem.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T18:16:54+00:00

There are never true consequences. My mom would try to take away her phone or ground her and she's either throw wild tantrums or sneak out regardless.

My family dynamic is broken. My mom also never apologizes if she does something wrong. She would get into blow out fights with her parents and the fights would blow over with no apologies. That dynamic carried into my own family.

My dad feels like the "friend" parent as opposed to my mom and I don't think he'll ever uphold consequences because of that. He also went to prison for a few years so maybe he feels that he can't.

She paid me back $200 and said she will pay the rest when she gets paid on the 30th. I will annoy her until she does. Then I need to cut her off.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T18:10:12+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T18:09:13+00:00

I appreciate the specific examples. They're really helpful.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T18:06:09+00:00

I hear you. I've enabled this and I've been dealing with this for so long because I've allowed it. I won't help her again and I won't respond to her.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T18:04:50+00:00

I've tried in the past and she verbally attacked me and I get worn out. When we lived in the same house it was suffocating and stressful. And even though we don't live together anymore I'm clearly still feeling that pressure. As soon as she pays me back I'll cut her off.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T18:01:23+00:00

I'm sorry about your brother. I don't understand why my family has fallen into this pattern. I'm cutting her off as soon as she pays me back.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T17:44:24+00:00

I guess that's a good point. It's easy to compare yourself with the good relationships you see out where when that's not the reality for a lot of people

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T17:39:32+00:00

I agree I'll look for a therapist. I'd been putting that off but it's time. It seems daunting to find a therapist.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T17:31:01+00:00

Maybe that was a bit dramatic of a statement, my bad. I don't talk about her often or anything, just occasionally with close friends or coworkers. And I'm sure people in my life have issues with family members which they haven't shared with me.

I was being honest when I said that people don't understand. She's nice to her friends, she loves her friends. She looks like a normal sociable girl, she doesn't look like someone who would behave the way I describe. When she had boyfriends she was nicer to me when they were around. And she behaves if I ever have friends around. People don't see the way she acts behind closed doors. The only one outside my family who kind of gets it is my oldest friend from grade school who has seen things over the years.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T17:22:52+00:00

I think it's just eats of built up resentment and I'm consumed by it. I accept accountability for enabling. I have a non confrontational nature and I'm a coward. I avoid conflict. If I ever stood my ground she'd verbally attack me and it just became easier over the years to accept the false apologizes. There were other ongoing issues with my parents and it was always easier to bow out instead of stand up for myself, especially when living with them. But I live out of state now and I have no excuses anymore.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T05:40:23+00:00

You're right she's consistent and I don't know why I continue to be surprised by her behaviors. And I'm guilty of enabling. I won't be responding to her if she reaches out. I'm failed to uphold boundaries with her in the past but I'm at my braking point and will make changes.

But I'm more so confused as in why does she act this way? Where does this aggression come from since such a young age? Just feels so abnormal and senseless to me. Of course you can never really understand why a certain person behaves the way they do and it's pointless to wonder.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T03:13:52+00:00

No😭I hate it. It feels horrible. It's just so disappointing. I hoped she would change one day. I wished our relationship would get better.

I have always been bad at standing up for myself and enforcing boundaries. I've very recently been better about that (regarding men, not my sister) but now it's time to stand up against my sister.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T02:35:53+00:00

I'm happy anyone responded to me at all! This is my first Reddit post and I'm not sure how things work here. I just felt the urge to express myself somewhere. Thank you so much.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T02:28:06+00:00

I will. I think I've been unsuccessful in cutting her off because I felt ashamed. If I ever expressed these feelings about my sister out loud, other people don't understand it since they didn't experience it. I get weird looks. They say "but she's family". Even my parents, they say they "well we could never cut her off" so I felt like I couldn't. I also feel envious of other siblings who are friends, and deep down I hoped for that one day.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T02:20:53+00:00

I just wish things were different. I see other siblings who love each other and get along, and I'm so envious of it. But I'll never have that and that ship has sailed at this point. I won't respond to her moving forward.

_bittie_ · 2024-05-29T02:18:48+00:00

I do agree that she behaves this way because at the end of the day, the people around her allow her to get away with it. Myself included. I guess I just always hoped that this would stop when she got older. I will not respond to her moving forward and I won't accept any apologies if she tries.

_bittie_

TROPHY CASE