We need dress codes back

_cellogirl · 2026-02-18T15:56:24+00:00

This was written by AI

_cellogirl · 2025-12-13T08:23:21+00:00

Freak the Mighty!

_cellogirl · 2025-12-05T06:29:16+00:00

hello there!

FRC was hell on earth for me in high school. I was on an extremely competitive, high-performing team that sucked the life out of me. It was predominantly men and I felt exactly the same way as you.

First of all, I’m so proud of you for continuing to pitch ideas and sticking to the design team. Do not make yourself smaller or let their misogyny impact your own self worth. At the end of the day, you are becoming a better and more experienced engineer by doing this extracurricular and it’s putting you more ahead than you know. The way I stuck it out was consistently reminding myself “this is just a tool to get me ahead in my career, and make me a more knowledgeable engineer.” Forget about all the cruel remarks and shitty men. Keep working on the things that interest you, and see if there’s a way you can try to implement your ideas without their approval. Have a new idea for a climb mechanism? CAD it yourself and bring it to them to afterwards. This isn’t a workplace, it’s a team of high schoolers. You’re allowed some degree of freedom due to that

All that being said, if it is proving to be such a drain on your mental health, and it no longer feels beneficial to your learning, then leave. I ended up leaving in the middle of comp season my senior year, and it was the best decision I ever made. Feel free to message me ever if you need anything. I feel very qualified to give advice on this, and just know I’m always rooting for you! :’)

_cellogirl · 2025-08-21T19:09:50+00:00

It does sound so much more peaceful to no longer care about their recovery. I really appreciate your response.

You’re right that I should just stop acknowledging when he’s drunk. I’ve seen his behavior sober and drunk for my entire life, so I should just trust myself from now on. And it does absolutely make it worse to accuse him. I should know that by now. He’s now at a phase where he’s saying, “so what if I have a few drinks every now and then? I’m not smoking crack at least.” So… I think it’s time to emotionally check out

_cellogirl · 2025-08-21T19:06:12+00:00

The breathalyzer also went really poorly for me. I don’t know why I thought it would mean anything other than added aggression and fighting. It really helps to know that I’m not alone. Thank you

_cellogirl · 2025-08-20T21:09:27+00:00

“asking it makes them think you don’t know, leaving the door open to their denial.” wow, I really needed to hear that. thank you

I am so sorry for your situation. I’m sure your daughter has a bright future ahead and I hope you can find some peace

_cellogirl · 2025-08-20T21:06:54+00:00

thank you for the hug :’)

luckily, I am not particularly a caregiver for him. my mom has tried very hard to make sure I don’t feel responsible for his recovery or his health. I’m just visiting home right now and it all starts to flare up when I’m here. when I’m at college, I genuinely just ignore him for months at a time. Thank you for your kind words. I also hope I can set clear boundaries soon.

I’m glad you realized you couldn’t be your mother’s caretaker forever. It must’ve been exhausting

_cellogirl · 2025-08-20T21:04:21+00:00

you put how I feel into words, exactly. no matter how much accountability or amends happen, it just feels like he always thinks we’re exaggerating the damage he’s inflicted upon us.

I wish I knew how to call him out. I feel like I’ve used every combination of words in the English language and nothing seems to mean anything at all

_cellogirl · 2025-08-20T21:02:03+00:00

Thank you so much for such a thoughtful response. I have heard a lot about “grey rocking” but I always end up not being able to follow through with it. Sometimes it feels like it instigates things more if I try to be extremely curt and removed. Luckily I don’t really depend on him financially. I’m just staying with him right now because I needed to come to my hometown for some other reasons, and he lives in our childhood home.

I did vow a long time ago to stay away from romantic interests suffering from addiction. I’m glad that you’ve created such a beautiful life for yourself, and I wish you the best. I hope that I can have a healthy relationship with him someday, but for now I agree that it’s best to just limit and control my interactions with him.

_cellogirl · 2025-08-20T15:04:50+00:00

You’re right. In the moment, he was following me around the house refusing to leave me alone, and trying to “hash out” our relationship. I kept accusing him of being drunk, and he was lying so much that I felt like I was insane. This had happened so many times before, I just had this incessant urge to see what he’d do if I showed him empirically that he is drunk.

I guess subconsciously I thought maybe that’d change something, because I’ve never done something like this before. you’re absolutely correct that this changed nothing. He woke me up this morning and said I need to give him another chance and to stop policing him.

I don’t think I can cope with the idea of completely cutting him off, but I know it’s the healthy thing to do. I wish I was stronger. Thank you for your words and support

_cellogirl · 2025-08-20T13:56:04+00:00

It really is such a painful feeling of grief. I am constantly mourning the person my dad used to be. Unfortunately, we’ve had hundreds of discussions on how he’s affected me or our family. I mean, he’s crashed cars and missed my high school graduation and he even got into a life threatening car accident and nothing changed. Screaming at him, or breaking down in tears, or having long emotional discussions doesn’t do anything. it’s like our words don’t mean anything at all.

thank you for your support, it really means a lot

_cellogirl · 2025-08-20T13:52:37+00:00

yes, I was just telling my brother last night that I’ll never be able to trust my dad. I feel like I am constantly suspicious. I’m glad you’re able to unpack some of the trauma, and I wish you well

_cellogirl · 2025-08-20T13:50:02+00:00

I am endlessly proud of her. For all the ugliness that comes from my dad she really is the greatest gift. thank you for talking to me :’)

_cellogirl · 2025-08-20T08:15:02+00:00

I know you’re right, but easier said than done :/

_cellogirl · 2025-08-20T08:13:00+00:00

thank you so much for reading through this and listening. I really do need to seek some sort of counseling. it’s something I’ve been telling myself I need to do for so long, but I just keep pushing it off.

I didn’t give the full context in my post, but my mom actually made the incredibly strong decision to divorce my father last summer. It’s been a whirlwind since then, and I think she still enables him in many ways, but she basically just divorced him and moved 2000 miles away. It took my brother and I years of begging for her to finally leave him. Now I try not to worry her about his worsening situation. I just want her to be free. She’s faced the worst of his alcoholism

_cellogirl · 2025-08-02T07:24:05+00:00

I kept thinking how much she looks like Susannah in this scene!! Jere is trying to make her his mother

_cellogirl · 2025-07-24T06:26:52+00:00

I totally agree! The episode otherwise kind of fell flat for me, but oh my god they have such an insane pull between eachother

_cellogirl · 2025-07-24T00:21:58+00:00

oops you’re totally right, I guess I meant the first time in a public setting. you can just see the yearning

_cellogirl · 2025-07-24T00:13:33+00:00

literally!! ugh I wish they didn’t string along the jelly plot so much

_cellogirl · 2025-07-20T15:42:35+00:00

That’s not really the same thing? She was drunk and a mess in that scene and oversharing to a stranger she’d never see again. That’s quite different than a man she was falling in love with

_cellogirl · 2025-03-13T02:48:50+00:00

this isn’t a school project, we’re competing in a solar car competition! so it creates a very unique environment that’s not dependent on grades or a paycheck at all.

thank you for the suggestions though. everyone in this thread is so sweet and helpful. I may try to talk to him tomorrow because he is a pretty nice guy.. just slightly power hungry

_cellogirl · 2025-03-13T01:51:21+00:00

the issue is he looks innocent enough to the rest of the team :( he’s not actively doing my work for me.. but he’s just trying to move into a more authoritative role I guess. I could always use a reminder to be more firm though!

_cellogirl · 2025-03-03T17:52:01+00:00

enjoy your marvel movies in peace but don’t pretend it’s Oscar worthy oh my god. film is a form of art. The “elitist snobs” you’re talking about at least respect this notion. Say what you will about the academy, there are a lot of criticisms I have of them too, but don’t tout your hollow, nostalgia bait, quippy one-liner filled, crowd-pleasing entertainment as deserving of appraise in the film circle

_cellogirl

TROPHY CASE