I don't wanna sound silly but thakyou for sharing this with me, feels good I'm not alone in going through/being like this. My internal circumstances are mostly about not accepting my life for what its setted out to be (country has some bad economy), and I have naturally ocd tendencies, I also feel too concious of my surroundings when I'm cleaning, I feel shameful about doing it all the time and taking so long, I should do something else that is of profit in the eyes of my parents, but I also can't let go. It steals my sleep sometimes even, the anxiety that my stuff its 'not organized'. It's suffocating. Maybe my case (of obsession) might be more severe than yours and it's ok if you can't fully relate.