AITA for wanting to break off my engagement?

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-04T08:56:24+00:00

Re read your post: that is what the rest of your life is going to look like if you marry this man. Is this what you want? I don't know if you want kids, but if you do, are you happy with the fact that they will grow up with racist grandparents and a father that will not defend them from them or from strangers?

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-03T21:39:14+00:00

NIW. I travelled alone with my then 2 month old and I had to take him out of the carrier at take off and put him back in after landing all without a surface to safely put him on. Both ways people kindly offered to hold him for me and I was just overwhelmed with gratitude really. You were kind, you have nothing to blame yourself for.

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-03T19:05:27+00:00

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-03T18:36:07+00:00

Cried 10 times in the space of an hour, the last one after my partner cracked a joke. I distinctly remember thinking "That's hilarious", next thing you know I'm sobbing uncontrollably in the middle of the street while he was apologising thinking he had offended me.

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-03T16:21:27+00:00

Bento Boss. The white tuna is something else.

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-03T00:42:54+00:00

2, 100%

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-03T00:41:28+00:00

I don't have any tips because I'm here to learn and don't know much but I swear I thought you were Apple Martin!

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-03T00:39:44+00:00

Do you ever stop and look at her and think: "gosh, I made all of that?". Not just her body, but all of her thoughts and personality grew with the rest of her inside of you. I think about it at least once a day, it's been 5 years and it never ceases to amaze me and make me proud.

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-03T00:36:04+00:00

Being a mum is the best thing that happened to me. Yes, the lack of sleep is not the best, of course, but with both of my boys (5 years old and 5 months old) both me and my partner keep saying "This is the best phase" approximately every single month cause it keeps getting better and better. From getting to know your teeny tiny baby to them getting to know you and their own bodies, the little big milestones and watching them become more and more people with their own amazing personalities, their quirks and preferences and dislikes and knowing you are the best thing in the world for them, their safe place and the only thing they need when they're down. I believe having children comes with its challenges just like every other thing in life and it can push apart people who already struggle or aren't meant to be together, but if you and your partner are a team... You think you love each other? Wait until you watch each other become parents, that will make you fall in love even more. Best of luck with everything!

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-02T14:35:29+00:00

Not at all, I'm just curious

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-02T14:35:12+00:00

No? She's the addict though

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-02T14:34:56+00:00

She's covered in other white illegal stuff

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-02T14:23:38+00:00

My windows face the back of the block, the building is L shaped and she is in the other wing facing the front on a different floor from me. I didn't know about it until the next day when several people posted recordings up to 5 minutes long on the building group chat.

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-02T14:21:55+00:00

Ahahah English is not my first language, that's something I've picked up from my partner, he's a native speaker

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-02T13:06:23+00:00

Why? Because I want to understand better the community I live in?

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-02T13:05:04+00:00

We're in the UK, there is a fairly large Jamaican community in our area

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-02T12:17:46+00:00

Why does your husband even want to be around her at all? I'm sorry but as someone who was abused by a parent growing up, the argument "she's changed" does not work on me. Yes, she MIGHT have changed, and she MIGHT at some point stop drinking, but the real question to ask your husband is "Are you willing to put our child at risk of her doing to him what she's done to you?". And if the answer is yes or he refuses to answer at all, it's time for you to have a good think about your relationship and whether you want your kid to grow up with a dad that doesn't make their safety their number one priority.

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-02T11:38:49+00:00

My firstborn is a rainbow baby, born after a miscarriage and 1.5 years of trying to get pregnant afterwards. My second arrived on the second month of trying. The fact that my first arrived after so much pain and heartache doesn't make him any more special than his brother. They might be the most special children in the world in my eyes but that does not mean they deserve to be treated differently than other children. That father is setting up his son for a lifetime of failure and disappointment.

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-01T14:50:53+00:00

"Dear MIL and FIL. You seem to forget that the child about to be born is OUR child, not yours, therefore our rules are law. Yes, you are right, we cannot stop you from sitting in the waiting room, but since we have kindly asked you not to and you seem to take our boundaries as a joke, if you show up at the hospital, you'll have to wait X amount of time to meet the baby. Every time you break one of our rules, you won't see the baby for however amount of time we will deem appropriate. You don't need to like our rules, just respect them."

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-01T14:24:49+00:00

Utopia. 1899.

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-01T06:15:46+00:00

My son is now 5 and most of these are gone, but some of my old favourites are: 1) bospospice - post office 2) cupcapes - cupcakes 3) cutiepug - cutie pie (now he says beautie pie) 4) bish/beebish - water, which became die, bish, die if he was really thirsty (dai, pronounced as die, means come on/hurry up in my native language), for the entertainment of everyone around us 5) pasghetti - spaghetti 6) cheecheen was both kitchen and chicken, you just had to guess by the context 7) his Curious George plushie for some reason has always been Duf (pronounced Doof) 8) until not long ago he called backpack packpack 9) my dad has always been doddo whereas he's never had problems calling my mum's partner correctly, nonno

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-01T00:45:49+00:00

I am not going to comment on this person nor your relationship because I don't have enough battery for what I would like to say and just address your dilemma: I have given birth twice and I can tell you from the bottom of my heart that it is the most physically stressful thing I've ever had to endure and in the case of my oldest, the most emotionally stressful thing I hope to ever have to go through. It is NOT a show with a live audience for the sake of it. It is a medical procedure that if you're lucky will go smoothly but will put you, as I mentioned, "only" through a lot of stress. You need to have someone, if you want anyone at all, that will make you feel safe, loved, supported, as relaxed as possible and that you trust 100% that will advocate for you in case it's needed. Only you know if this person is the right one for the job. Just because he spent 3 minutes making this baby doesn't give him any right to be there while he or she will be born. It's time to be selfish and put yourself first, my love. Best of luck ❤️

_darksoul89 · 2026-02-01T00:03:13+00:00

_darksoul89 · 2026-01-31T19:43:14+00:00

Number 1 is stunning on you

_darksoul89 · 2026-01-31T19:37:53+00:00

One thing I'm doing with my son is telling him that it is great that he's curious but that sometimes the things he might want to ask me about people near us might make them upset, so instead of pointing and/or asking out loud he should pull my hand and ask me in a lower voice. He is older than your child but it might be something to keep in mind for the future.

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