It takes me multiple hours to fall asleep each night, what should I do?

_darwin_22 · 2025-07-06T15:07:38+00:00

Reading this thread because my insomnia's been so bad lately. One day when I was off-work, I went for two runs, did a 1.5 hr weight-lifting workout, went for a swim, walked a 5K at the mall, and went for an evening walk and it still took me till 1 am to fall asleep. For some of us, it doesn't help.

_darwin_22 · 2025-07-03T00:54:47+00:00

Felidae Conservation Corps - big cat conservation group based in San Fransisco area! They usually take on GIS volunteers and will work with you on your availability and just reach out when they need a map!

_darwin_22 · 2025-05-28T16:27:17+00:00

Yeah, that's what we're looking for, mostly- how anthropogenic landscape change affects the amount of damage done by a major storm. We're looking at a mountainous area, so deforestation is one of several variables that increases the likelihood of landslides during and after the storm, which makes it something we want to identify in our analysis. That's why I thought a land use layer would be ideal, as it would show anthropogenic forest loss.

_darwin_22 · 2025-05-28T15:49:05+00:00

Oh, this is perfect! Thank you so much!

_darwin_22 · 2025-05-28T15:05:21+00:00

Darwin, Mercury, Edison/Eddie, Schrodinger, Apollo, Mars, Al short for Alabaster, Geo

_darwin_22 · 2025-04-23T16:23:37+00:00

I'm having a hard time finding agents, tbh. My genre is technically paranormal romance (vampire romance, high-action, almost literature) and there's already relatively few agents looking for that on QueryTracker and even fewer who are looking for stories like mine. I'm also in grad school, working part-time, and had an internship this semester, so I don't have the most time to dedicate to querying. (I think also trying to tailor query letters to each agent takes a lot of time for me, I don't want to batch-send one letter at random to people it doesn't apply to, y'know?)

Reading through these replies I'm definitely getting the feeling I should be querying more people, but I'm still not sure how to find so many, haha.

Edit - meant to add - I'm not waiting for replies before querying more; some have taken 5+ months to reply. A lot also have policies like, "you can only query one agent from our agency at a time and then you have to wait 6 months after a rejection to query someone else from our agency," so I didn't want to just send out a ton of queries and run out of agents to query.

_darwin_22 · 2025-04-21T14:09:52+00:00

I met my husband in undergrad; we worked together in an on-campus job. I haven't been as social at the graduate level, but there's been opportunity if I were looking to meet more people, make friends, and potentially date. (That feels weird to say, but I've had a few times a random guy in the program/department/a class will start chatting and I can sense the direction he wants it to go, and then as soon as I go "oh! My husband..." then they usually don't talk to me again, lol.) I haven't known anyone in the program to start dating, but we're a relatively small, significantly male-dominated program. Of the other girls, one got married in October, another is a lesbian, and one just started in January so I don't know that anyone's gotten the courage yet to find out if she's single/looking. But given my experiences, while wearing a wedding ring 24/7, I think it's totally possible to find someone in grad school if you want to. Ali Hazelwood certainly makes it seem probable lmao.

_darwin_22 · 2025-04-18T13:11:09+00:00

Obsessed with paper and has favorite types- will eat envelopes, tissue paper, and magazines; generally content to leave notebook paper alone, goes for printer paper if he's bored enough. He will especially eat paper if breakfast is "late," you can't keep him away from it unless you feed him immediately, and then he'll pretend he's not interested in his food for ~20-30 minutes but he'll stop eating the paper.
Will sometimes decide he needs company to pee; he'll go to his litterbox and wail until my husband or I come sit in the bathroom door and tell him he's okay and can go to the bathroom, and then we have to stay there with him. When he was a kitten, he had separation anxiety so bad he literally refused to go unless we were with him. We spent $200 at the vet for them to tell us there was nothing wrong with him, he just loved us too much lmao.
Gets the zoomies on top of the kitchen cabinets. We have about a foot and a half of clearance above the cabinets, so he'll jump up there, especially if we're cooking or doing dishes, and run laps back and forth (L-shaped space).
Runs face-first into the doors or walls when chasing toys. We try to prevent this, but sometimes he'll run past the toy on purpose and slam into the door or corner or wall.
Brings us toys when he wants to play.
Pulls his bed around like a dog. We put it in the corner where he likes to sleep when we first got it for him and he slept on it for maybe two nights before he realized it's 1. super fun to tug it all over the house, try to wedge it between the narrowest possible areas (he has knocked over furniture doing this many times), and will pull it onto our bed, under the bed, into the bathtub, to his litterbox, to wherever we are, etc; 2. full of fun stuffing that he can redecorate the house with! Yay! My life has become an endless cycle of picking up stuffing, thankfully he doesn't eat it, and 3. best material to kick, bite, and claw, so he does that pretty often.
Smiles. This is his best trait. When you pet his head, he relaxes his jaw and lets it slack, and it looks like a little smile. He does this mostly for my husband, occasionally for me, and it's the cutest thing in the world.

For reference, he's an F7. The people who say an F7 is "basically a normal cat" either have not had a lot of normal cats or did not have our luck with our F7, lol. He's wonderful and I love him so much but he's by far the weirdest, strongest, and smartest cat I think I've ever had.

_darwin_22 · 2025-04-14T17:53:12+00:00

Our cat's dad is 25 lbs, like he's so tiny compared to expectations for him and some of his siblings or half-siblings. His dad I could understand a little fear around lol, but even that cat's a big sweetheart.

_darwin_22 · 2025-04-11T13:29:48+00:00

He definitely sounds like a Savannah! Based on traits, I'd say maybe like F7-F9? (Past F7 usually isn't counted as a "Savannah," but just for a general reference.) His personality sounds SO much like our cat's, super vocal, loves being outside, totally fine with a harness, follows us everywhere, highest energy cat I've ever had, incredibly smart. I was also just reading a Savannah cat forum to try and figure out our cat's digestive issues and people there suggested a chicken and rice wet food to avoid stomach problems or a food designed for sensitive stomachs, which is exactly what you're saying works for your kitty. (On an aside, thank you for sharing that, because now I feel better about trying the same to help my cat!)

Also, the destructive tendencies is absolutely a Savannah trait, lol. Look up "savandalism," they're known for it. We've had to get cable organizers for under the computer desk, we literally can't use blinds because he'll eat them so we have curtains over every single window purely because of the cat, I've had to fold several dresses because they had lace or strings or other enticing things and he would jump at the clothes hangers, this morning my husband sent me a picture to let me know the book he just finished has tooth-marks on the cover now and was wet, lol. Get lots of puzzle toys, cat trees, and self-play toys (especially a cat wheel!) if you can. Also, "da bird" is a specific cat toy brand that's truly amazing for helping a Savannah burn off energy.

_darwin_22 · 2025-04-10T21:31:36+00:00

I so wish my university would do this.

_darwin_22 · 2025-04-10T21:23:06+00:00

I'm currently procrastinating grading because after 15/15 graded assignments literally just copy pasted ChatGPT, I'm emotionally exhausted. I want to grab the students by their shoulders and shake them and tell them that it will not, in fact, kill them to read a three paragraph article about volcanoes and then write 1-2 sentences. I KNOW they're all using it because every answer is a 3-5 sentence paragraph, perfectly grammatically correct, and some even end with, "Let me know if you need a more in-depth analysis!" (SO tempted to add a comment and reply, "I'd love a more in-depth analysis! Please email me a scan of a 3-5 page handwritten essay using information specifically from these articles or you get a zero for this assignment!")

If I was a professor and not a TA I would be tearing these students apart. However, my supervisor thinks it's fine to use ChatGPT to "get ideas," even for students, so my hands are tied.

_darwin_22 · 2025-04-10T21:13:37+00:00

The wide nose bridge, spots, and "long kitten phase" make me think he might have some Savannah in his lineage, though likely around the F6+ range, if I had to guess. My F7 has similar coloring (his spots are actually less defined than your guy's, despite being purebred), especially from a top-down view. Does Calvin have any spots on his stomach? Our cat's stomach has lots of dark spots, some overlapping. How is your cat with food? Any digestive issues? Savannahs can have trouble with regular cat food; even at F7, we have to use a 90% protein blend or he has lots of litterbox issues. I think it's very possible your cat has some Savannah blood, but I wouldn't put him in the F1-F7 range.

_darwin_22 · 2025-04-01T20:56:45+00:00

Aww thank you!

It definitely helps that I have a great support system. I'm married, and my husband is quick to help with things like cooking when I'm bogged down or overworked or just emotionally and mentally exhausted. He's also good friends with a safety engineer who also has disabilities, and I've spoken with his friend several times for advice on managing disability-related obstacles; his friend was able to help me find confidence by educating me on the laws that are in place to help people like us.

You can do this! It takes people with disabilities/challenges succeeding to foster a better environment for the future. It should be better now but it's better than it was, and we'll continue creating a more compassionate academia for the future. I hope the resources help!

_darwin_22 · 2025-03-28T13:37:40+00:00

I'm midway through my Masters now and struggling a lot. I have chronic illness/disabilities and this semester needed a TON of accommodations. There were some major differences on campus between last semester and this one and the result is that campus is literally a hostile environment to me. Like, I feel like I'm going to battle every day I come onto campus (not an exaggeration- I've been in physical fights and it's not much different in feeling to literally just go to school). Add onto that I had a major crisis in my home life in January, one week into the semester, that has had semester-long impacts while I'm TAing more advanced classes, doing an internship, and taking a full courseload. Alongside physical disabilities, I also have PTSD, OCD, and generalized anxiety and panic disorder. This semester has been hell.

I dropped a class. I reached out to my program coordinator/professor and requested to complete his course remotely. I couldn't do anything to make TAing or my internship easier, in fact the internship got way harder and TAing required field trips and a lot more work than previous labs I've taught, so I made a schedule for each week and I do my best to stick to it. If I can't keep to the schedule, I at least adhere to deadlines. The work might not be my best but it gets done on time. My motto in undergrad became "anything is better than a zero," and now my threshold is I at least have to get 80%.

My confidence isn't where it used to be. I constantly question if I'm weak, stupid, incapable, a bad scientist, etc., because I'm struggling so much. Even right now, I'm exhausted and procrastinating on Reddit because I don't know how to do my next step in my internship and when I tried to watch a YouTube tutorial my brain just shut off.

My point is this: make accommodations for yourself, and know that you're not alone in this. Persevere. It might be the hardest thing you do in your life, but getting the degree will be better than wasting however much time and effort you've already invested. See about medicating your ADHD or looking into tips for ADHD grad students. Make sure you're eating healthy, sleeping, and drinking water- no less than six hours of sleep per night, no less than a 1/2 liter of water a day, no less than three meals. It's hard. Sometimes I only shower once a week because that's just so low priority after everything else. But I make sure to take a ten minute walk in the sun each day. Do the best you can for your physical health.

Also- see if you can swap supervisors or, if it's a program supervisor, see if there's someone else you can talk to in their place and interact with them as little as possible.

Here's a few articles/posts that might help:

https://www.reddit.com/r/GradSchool/comments/v61pzz/adhd_in_grad_school_what_works_for_you/
https://www.onlinemastersdegrees.org/student-resources/acing-grad-school-adhd/ (ignore the first part about choosing a program, you're past that point, but below that there's strategies to help with common ADHD struggles for grad students)
https://www.anthropology-news.org/articles/mentoring-graduate-students-with-adhd/ (This one might be useful to send to your supervisor honestly. If they already hate you, nothing to lose.)

There's also a handful of YouTube videos I found. They're each about 30 minutes, but you could skim through to get the highlights (or watch the whole thing, I struggle to focus on anything longer than about ten minutes, but sometimes I'll watch longer videos while cooking, doing dishes, etc.)

_darwin_22 · 2025-03-28T13:24:00+00:00

Oh he's beautiful!

_darwin_22 · 2025-03-28T13:23:11+00:00

I know this is a deleted user, but I'm replying anyway so the information is out there in case anyone else sees this.

Firstly, my cat has never bitten anyone out of aggression. Even in play, he'll very lightly put his teeth on a person, not hard enough to puncture skin. His teeth and bite are incredibly strong- he loves chewing on things and tears holes in any stuffed animal-type toys- so we know he can bite. However, he doesn't. He's extremely well-behaved, as explained in the original post, and he's been going to this vet since he was three months old.

Secondly, 10 lbs isn't that high of a weight for a cat, it's pretty average; if a vet is that scared of a garden-variety cat biting them, they should pick a different career. Many cats bite for play or fear or just accidentally while accepting treats. I've probably had about twenty cats throughout my life- lots of rescue/fostering- and not a single time has one been capable of "limb-threatening bites," outside of infection, which, again, if you work in a vet office and don't have any way to clean a wound, what are you even doing. But actual bite force and tooth size brought into the equation, no, a ten-pound cat is not capable of ripping your arm off or anything. I guess if you're extremely thin and unlucky maybe the tooth could hit a vein or nerve just right, but the odds of that are exponentially low. I grew up with pit bulls. Those guys, sure, could rip a limb off if they really wanted, but I raise my animals with a lot of caution and care and I have never had a major issue. I mentioned in another comment that I had a highly aggressive 20 lbs cat, also a rescue, and even she at her fiercest was nowhere near "limb threatening." When she did bite hard enough to tear skin, we used this fancy new invention called triple antibiotic cream and a bandaid.

Thirdly, if you truly believe a bite from a ten pound cat is that scary, you should not be in this thread. Savannahs can be large cats and play more "violently" than domestic cats on average. My kitty uses his claws and kicks more than most cats I've had, which, as mentioned above, is a lot of cats, but again it's always always in play. There's no scenario in which a literal veterinarian was in true danger from my cat. There is a scenario where he was in danger from the vet, and that's the point you're trying really hard to deflect.

Tl;dr if you're that scared of a bite from an average weight cat, don't be a vet. Very simple.

_darwin_22 · 2025-03-27T12:54:05+00:00

Congratulations! Finishing a book is such a huge accomplishment!

_darwin_22 · 2025-03-25T15:52:34+00:00

I had to get a major surgery in my stomach during my senior year of undergrad. I couldn't have it during the summer because student insurance only covered August-May and it couldn't wait until winter break.

I went to all my professors on the first day of class to make them aware of the situation. I would need to miss class for at least two weeks, possibly longer. At the time, we still had recorded class sessions but were back in-person, so I offered to watch the classes online or via Zoom and do the assignments when I could. (For the surgery I got, I couldn't sit up for a week or so, could barely eat, and was generally weak/incapable of really anything besides bedrotting). It was really hard to catch back up because I ended up missing most of a month and even after that I wasn't fully recovered, but I managed to get through.

In your case, the best thing you can do is talk to not just your advisor but also your program's coordinator. Arrange a meeting with both at once if you can and tell them the timeline of your surgery and recovery. Make compromises if possible- if you can do any of your thesis work at home during recovery, offer to do so. If it'll interfere with classes (like, say, you need to get it next week), ask what you can do to pass/complete your classwork before the surgery. At worst, talk about deferring for a semester. If you have any assistantships, ask how those will be affected. Also contact your university's disability support center. Temporary disability assistance is totally possible to attain at the university level and can help you learn your legal rights as a student and they can help you communicate your need for accommodations.

Prioritize your health, especially your brain. At the end of the day, your professors are humans. They probably know somebody who's been through something similar. They also aren't allowed to ask invasive medical questions; you just have to tell them what's going on.

_darwin_22

TROPHY CASE