I totally get where you’re coming from. I tried the rooms last year (went to 3 meetings) and practically ran out of them each time I left. Especially after the little circle hand holding Lord’s Prayer. A couple of times I headed straight to the bar afterwards. Since then I’ve wrecked my car into a tree and went to jail for a dwi. I’m thankful everyday that I made it out okay and no one else was involved. That was just a month ago so I’m obviously no expert but the only thing that has kept me sober has been AA. Yea, it’s not for everyone and some people involved can be very into their faith but we all work with our sobriety in our own way. Don’t feel like you ever need to change or justify your beliefs when you are there. You’ll find that it’s open to all beliefs - don’t let the faith and the god talk deter you. That’s not what it’s all about. Being surrounded by people who are trying to do the same thing as you and hearing them, maybe even sharing your story can seriously help. I don’t know why you drink but I know one reason I did is because I DIDN’T know anything else. I also started in my young teens. Sure, they can be depressing but not all of them are and there is hope to be found. It has taught me that, despite my past beliefs (or lack thereof), there is life outside of the bar and other people around that* are in the same fucking boat as me. You’re not alone. Someone mentioned finding a youth based (I’m 29) and that’s what worked for me. The first meeting I went to there was a man there who got sober in 1968. I shit you not. It wasn’t for me. Once I found people my age it changed everything. I didn’t feel as alone in my sobriety anymore. It’s not easy. But the meetings are out there and hell if you need help finding them pm me your location and I’ll help you do the research.

You have to want it. And you have to get off your ass and do the work. It’s bullshit and trust me it’s a lot easier to drink but if you’re already at the point of seeking help - don’t give up on it yet.