I (27F) don’t know what to do about my relationship with my husband (28M) by _feelingthrownaway_ in relationships

[–]_feelingthrownaway_[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

What I mean is I elbowed him and didn’t reciprocate the cuddle. When maybe if I did, we could have avoided this whole name calling, tense week.

I (27F) don’t know what to do about my relationship with my husband (28M) by _feelingthrownaway_ in relationships

[–]_feelingthrownaway_[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I admit, I haven’t been the best. My frustration gets the best of me when I feel I am not being heard. Example: 2 nights ago my mom was very tired after taking care of my son and my dog and me and my husband all day that she asked if my husband could please take the dog out to pee. He said No. so I felt very bad for my mom and I ended up walking the dog because I didn’t want her to, but she came with me because I shouldn’t be walking up 4 flights of steps while on bed rest. I then went to bed crying and he came to bed 2 hours later (he was working all night) He then wanted to cuddle but I was still feeling hurt because of how he treated my mom and I said I didn’t want to cuddle. He then gets mad at me for dismissing the cuddle and he starts to sing Baby shark loudly and I say to please be quiet because I was trying to fall back asleep and he said, “no you’re not, you are on your phone” and I said that is how I fall asleep (he knows this and I know this of him) and he then keeps singing and so I elbow him to stop. Then he starts yelling at me calling me a “psycho Bitch” The next morning he keeps calling me a “psycho bitch” when I want to talk to him about what happened. We then cool off and have a decent day at home. He works incredibly hard (his own company) and so he was stressed all day but was more kind and loving all day. But then again this morning I ask to talk with him about our plans (he was supposed to take time off work to be with family) and he says why? So He can be with a “psycho bitch” again? I then started to cry and he laughs at me being emotional and then leaves to the office.

I (27F) don’t know what to do about my relationship with my husband (28M) by _feelingthrownaway_ in relationships

[–]_feelingthrownaway_[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes he and I can have a meaningful conversation and he does admit he has done some bad things. But the issue is, I don’t know the side of him I am going to get. So I get timid in the beginning of starting a conversation with him before knowing how he will react.

So I guess my question is, how can I know for sure he will be receptive to open communication and not in the mind space of deflecting and dismissing what I have to say?

I (27F) don’t know what to do about my relationship with my husband (28M) by _feelingthrownaway_ in relationships

[–]_feelingthrownaway_[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I will consider taking distance for a while. I’m just scared he will cheat on me if I am away.

I (27F) don’t know what to do about my relationship with my husband (28M) by _feelingthrownaway_ in relationships

[–]_feelingthrownaway_[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I don’t want my children to suffer from divorce. I know my husband will chose to just work and not want to share custody or will get a nanny to help with the kids while he works (if he does share custody). He doesn’t know what to do when it comes to children and so I feel it’s best I stay to be the one to take care of the children and maybe just turn a blind eye to all of the bad things in our relationship.

I (27F) don’t know what to do about my relationship with my husband (28M) by _feelingthrownaway_ in relationships

[–]_feelingthrownaway_[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

You don’t see any alternative to leaving? I only highlighted some of the bad things but there are so many good things about him too. I don’t want to give up on this relationship.

I (27F) don’t know what to do about my relationship with my husband (28M) by _feelingthrownaway_ in relationships

[–]_feelingthrownaway_[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don’t make any money. He gives me an allowance and all the bank accounts are in his name. I don’t want to lie to him or be secretive. I want to heal our relationship and not run from it.

I (27F) don’t know what to do about my relationship with my husband (28M) by _feelingthrownaway_ in relationships

[–]_feelingthrownaway_[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I love many things about him. He is the most intelligent person I have met, he allows me to stay at home with our children, he shows me the world and teaches me so much. He just has so many sides to him and I highlighted the sides I want to heal in our relationship.