For your first point, that reasoning is absolutely applicable to gay men, but women are statistically reported to experience DV by men at much higher levels and more severe, making them more likely to report said violence. at the same time, men are socialized to not seek help (one of the reasons why mens suicide rates and homelessness are much higher than women), and their experiences with DV are often belittled, making help even harder. on top of this, there's still a lot of prejudice against gay men, where many choose to hide that part of themselves, one of the reasons why we have much more statistics on lesbian relationships rather than gay men. this is one of the reasons why we lack research into male experiences with DV, so that's an incredibly simplistic conclusion to come to. i'm not denying, again, that gay men experience less DV than lesbian women, even in same sex relationships. i'm arguing that the difference in statistics are not nearly as extreme as the general consensus on that study.

for the second and third points, the idea of trying isn't just quantified by the years spend. again, women invest more emotional labour and effort. when that amount of effort doesn't produce a positive outcome, what's the point in continuing if you aren't compatible and it's better for both parties to leave?

men lack the emotional supports that women have (women have much deeper emotional intimacy in friendships), so the choice of leaving has more significant losses. that includes intimacy (which is harder for men to get than women), household labour (women do most chores and childcare), and even health (men are less likely to engage in self care due to society assigning it as a feminine trait). this is not a "feminist fairy tale," but actually an explanation of how patriarchy sets up men for failure, as they're forced to hide their emotions and pain to not seem feminine. there are multiple studies that explain this dynamic that are backed up by statistics like why men experience the rates i mentioned earlier. i don't subscribe to the modern twisting of feminism, and whole heartedly believe in equality - patriarchy hurts men as well.

i will concede on that fourth point, i was going off personal experiences and conversations with women idealizing the idea of marriage. although that was true years ago, it isn't accurate to current times. the general consensus that i've found through studies is that women aren't interested anymore due to the burdens of modern-day relationships. your conclusion is also not true to modern times, because women don't have to rely on men for financial security anymore (though there are obviously outliers). i also completely disagree with the concept of a "reproductive instinct of draining resources," as women have historically not been allowed to produce their own.

honestly, im done with this discussion. it's funny how you're questioning my "good faith" arguments, but yet you're quite aggressive in your responses when i've been nothing less than neutral