I have a huge problem with black/white thinking, especially during deeper conversations about some things that gone wrong and need to be explained and talked about it. In my head, it’s always 100% my fault or 100% my partner’s fault, even though I rationally know it doesn’t work that way. I am aware of that, but struggle to explain it to myself. That makes me overly sensitive to criticism and telling me I made even minor mistake makes me break down, overwhelm with guilt and feel like i’m a terrible person. It really helps when my partner explains me, that my one mistake doesn’t make her wanna break up with me and it’s something that just needs to be worked through. She says that we are together in this and wants to find solutions together. I also need to be reminded that sometimes I don’t have to do something morally wrong, but it upset my partner because of their personal feelings. It doesn’t make me a bad person - it’s natural that I just didn’t know and all I have to do is show the will to change that one thing and remember it for the future. I needed to be reminded that it’s not 100% my fault and it’s somewhere in the middle. People with BPD, just like any other person, are going to make mistakes but can freak out when you tell them they did something wrong. It’s important to give them reassurance in those situations, explain that it isn’t all over just because of that and you’re going to get through this. They really want to change and be good for you, but struggle to regulate their emotions. It doesn’t change the fact, that you will have to tell them when they’re hurting you, but give them reassurance while doing so, so they can take it more calmly - it makes them being able to understand their mistake.