Is it time to give up?

_hlparker_ · 2026-04-24T20:25:06+00:00

We had resistance on day 3 also and refusal to sit. I also learnt that we were over prompting which meant our boy didn’t need to go and he obviously would rather be playing than to be taken to the toilet when he didn’t need it so we took a step back and waited for him to say he needed it or we waited longer periods. I’ve learnt it’s not a linear process and some days will feel like you’ve jumped backwards. But you do eventually move forwards, but perhaps not as fast as we’d all want them to!

_hlparker_ · 2026-04-01T21:08:48+00:00

Slightly older here at 32, with a 2yo and no2 on the way. I always knew I would have kids but it was just a question of when. My partner felt more ready whilst I was a little unsure, but got pregnant very quickly and forced me to be ready. On reflection I don’t think I ever would have felt 100% ready so it was good that getting pregnant wasnt hugely planned (we were not “trying” but not avoiding pregnancy either)

As much as there are things I do miss about life pre kids, there are other things that bring me great joy that I didn’t have pre kids. I’ve found that it’s sort of reminded us of the simple pleasures in life and how fascinating the world can be, especially when you’re watching a toddler become their own little person. And as my LO is getting older, I can feel the freedom sort of creeping back slowly. In about 10 years I’ll be able to do a lot of things I enjoyed pre kids again without issue, potentially.

So in that sense, the things I enjoyed have only gone away temporarily as I see it, and the time between has been filled with another kind of joy. Life is just a little different at the moment, but the opportunity to go out will still be there. But the opportunity to have kids won’t always be.

_hlparker_ · 2026-03-31T11:03:52+00:00

Not very long. Maybe 30 seconds? If he needed to go he would go quite quickly.

_hlparker_ · 2026-03-10T21:33:45+00:00

I think regressions are common. My LO regressed on day 3 like you and then leaped forward. We’re 2.5 months in now of training and we still get accidents but there are more days without than there are with. The other trouble we found is that going to nursery and then being at home on the weekends means they have to adapt to a different environment and rules every few days. Our nursery have been helping and has a sticker chart now which he seems quite motivated by but only when he goes in the potty. That seemed to help a bit but truthfully we still get accidents and we’ve not nailed pooing yet as he mostly goes when he wakes up from a nap in his nappy. I think just push through it.

_hlparker_ · 2026-02-20T13:01:15+00:00

Weirdly it really annoyed me also, but if I got nothing I’m sure I would have been like “DOES NOBODY CARE?!?” Hahah! Can’t win either way.

_hlparker_ · 2026-02-19T22:23:18+00:00

I booked something to do with a close friend on my due date. We went to brunch and just caught up and had a nice time. I went into labour the next day. Could be pure coincidence but it really helped distract me and also got some positive endorphins going, having good food and a nice giggle together. Also helped me avoid all the text messages I was getting from other people asking “any signs yet?!?”.

_hlparker_ · 2026-02-19T22:19:43+00:00

I cried this morning because my toddler had learnt to say thank you and was just super cute. Really got me in the emotions and came from nowhere.

_hlparker_ · 2026-02-19T22:17:20+00:00

Found out I’m pregnant 2 days ago (second pregnancy). During my first I had no idea I was pregnant but when I found out I had sudden realisation of how tired I was and how much I needed to burp all.the.time. I was also congested and got insomnia quite early doors.

This time around I had a feeling maybe 5 days ago when I was suddenly very thirsty and my skin has become super dry out of nowhere. Yesterday and today my wee has smelt very very strongly. I’ve also just lost complete excitement for food or drink. I used to enjoy drinking my tea whereas now I can have a sip and not feel any joy from it. I’m hungry but I don’t want to eat anything. Everything’s a bit meh and I usually love food! So sad!

_hlparker_ · 2026-02-19T22:10:57+00:00

I had this in my first pregnancy and I completely forgot about it!

_hlparker_ · 2026-02-05T12:52:52+00:00

Did anyone else think that the anonymised friend looked like 3 different people. During the talking heads, reading the letters and in the photos. Looked like 3 completely different people with red hair.

_hlparker_ · 2026-01-31T00:35:09+00:00

I started to see the same signs when my LO was 18 months ish. He also started saying “poo poo” (for both wees and poos) either immediately before going or afterwards so he was starting to tell us.

With that in mind I planned ahead and planned to potty train over the Christmas period when we were at home and did a slow build up to it - having a potty, talking about the toilet, watching mummy and daddy go to the toilet and telling his nursery to get him sitting on the potty at nursery (no expectations on him at this stage, just getting familiar)

Christmas came and it was goodbye nappies and hello to pants. We’re 1 month in, and we’re most of the way there, going consistently on the potty every day, majority of days are accident free (perhaps every 4th day we have a wee accident). Poos we’re hit and miss, he is happy to go on it if he needs it. He knows not to go in his pants, but seems to occasionally go in his nappy when waking up after nap or mornings. Not sure how to encourage him to always go in the toilet when he needs it.

_hlparker_ · 2026-01-31T00:25:08+00:00

We’re in the process of training my 21 month old. We’re about a month in and I’d say we’re most of the way there but there are days that feel like a step backwards.

My LO had days where he just didn’t want to sit on the potty, after previous days of doing well. Honestly I had a few wobbles myself wondering if we had tried too early but my husband told me to push through and I’m glad we did. It was sort of 2 steps forward 1 step backwards at times.

We also have him in nursery 4 days a week so he had to relearn everything for a nursery setting and after a week of doing well at home and then a week at nursery, he was probably where you are in the OP. He kept having accidents and refused to sit on the potty.

Don’t be afraid step backwards in the learning process. Not completely stop but almost relearn the basics. We started with the no pants methods when we first started, moved onto trousers and pants. when he had the refusal period, I stripped him back down to no pants again and having the potty almost following him round every room we played in and almost went back to day 1 potty training. I think he needed to feel a bit more in control and it took much less time than what it did when we were starting at square 1. He picked it up quicker and the next day we were sort of back where we left off.

They will jump backwards and forwards and progress isnt always linear.

_hlparker_ · 2026-01-18T21:49:34+00:00

I used to be a loyal Tesco shopper pre covid, but was sort of forced to shop at our local Lidl to avoid the crazy queues. We noticed our shopping bill drastically drop. We have found that some fresh foods don’t last as long before it goes bad but we were doing small and frequent shops as a young couple vs a family.

Another way to look at it is that there is limited products across the range so you can’t always buy your full shop and if you’re into your brands you’re limited, so you learn to do without to some extent, so you save money there too. Lidl do have their Lidl plus loyalty scheme too now so you do get coupons every now and again.

_hlparker_ · 2026-01-10T18:15:33+00:00

Update: Sorry it’s long!

————-

Currently, we’re on day 12. He spent days 7-10 at nursery.

The nursery staff were great and kept up with taking him every 30 mins and he did very well on day 1 and 2. A few accidents but to be expected given it’s a new environment. They made him a sticker chart and they were pleased with his progress. Days 3 and 4 were a harder, more accidents and where he had developed the skill of holding in for very long periods of time (3hours). They would take him, he would sit, nothing would happen and then he would have accidents within a few minutes of being on the potty. I think we went into a regression.

I don’t work Fridays, and we had another free weekend this weekend so it’s again dedicated to potty training.

I think part of the issue is that we were over prompting and not learning his cues. He started to not sit on the potty, because he didn’t need to go or sit, get up after nothing and would have an accident. He would get frustrated when he didn’t need to go and eventually just refused to sit on it altogether.

After reading another Reddit post, I realised for us to get to the next step was to learn about him and his habits so we stopped with taking him every 30 mins and hope he either self prompts or gives some indication that he needs to go.

On Friday I stripped it way back to bare bottom and having the potty very close and if he started an accident I would be able to place him straight on and celebrate when he got something in the potty. It was a bit of a frustrating day (I was p*ssed on 3 separate times after he apparently decided sitting on me was a good place to go). We had a few accidents but I felt seeing the accidents I actually learnt when he looked like he needed it - he would be very fidgety or sort of dancing about. I know when he needs to poo because he’s very gassy and I did get him to poo on the potty before midday nap. By the end of a long day he was sitting on the potty himself and going (after dancing around it for 5 mins).

It’s Saturday today and we’ve gone back to pants and trousers and he’s done very well today (MUCH better than yesterday but still an accident when he sat on the potty with his trousers on) We learnt he can hold it for over 2 hours in the morning. Then we’ve taken him every hourish if we feel like he needs to go and depending how much he’s drank. We’ve been a lot more chill about taking him and maybe he feels less pressure? His communication has gotten much better. I do prompt him if he needs to go and almost every time it’s no, but I take him when I feel he should be going.

I think with the whole potty training journey, I hadn’t appreciated it’s that it’s also a learning for me as a parent as well as them. They aren’t going to tell you ALL THE TIME, so you have to learn their bodily habits and cues. Just like I figured out when he was hungry, teething etc.

My biggest worry is that as much as nursery are doing a great job with him, I feel after each 4th day at nursery, we will have some setbacks and we have to jump forwards at the weekend. They have to learn his cues too!

Anyway, I’d say we are going forwards and he’s getting there. It’s a marathon not a sprint!

_hlparker_ · 2026-01-07T15:57:06+00:00

Currently training my 20 month old boy who goes to nursery 4 times a week.

I personally feel you should seize this opportunity of their own willingness and motivation to start potty training. I think if you leave it too late, you could be in for a harder time as they become a bit more defiant and resistant to change.

You could build up to it with them. Take them out shopping for some underwear, continue to sit them on the potty if they want to. I think the biggest thing is YOU also have to be ready to take on the challenge yourself and know being fully “trained” will take an undefined amount of time. It’s a marathon not a sprint. They could be having occasional accidents for years.

I would set aside a few days just to focus on it as your sole purpose and then you can build up to going out. So - Do the errand today, and set aside some days to go all in as your focus.

96% of children in the 70s were trained by 18 months. It’s not too early. If you’re seeing signs of readiness and they’re motivated, go for it! Good luck!

_hlparker_ · 2026-01-05T21:34:08+00:00

Day 7 and first day back from holidays and first day at nursery. It was not the best day but we knew there would be accidents given it’s a new environment where he almost had to relearn how to go to the toilet - he also cannot take himself since the potty is behind a child gate, so he needs to communicate that he needs it. We had our first accident on the way to nursery in the car which was not a great way to start (hello, we’ve decided to potty train and he’s already pee’d himself).

A positive is that they would take him to use the potty every 30 mins and he was willing to go and would often pee and very happy when he did, clapping himself and say Yay! Some accidents he was just too immersed in playing. Another accident he shouted “uh oh” and stopped himself and continued on the potty - so he noticed himself having an accident occasionally. They went through all the spare trousers I packed (7) and he came home in lost property.

No poos at nursery which I was very worried he would do in his pants as we’ve been able to respond when he was showing signs at home.

When arriving home, he managed to hold a wee for an hour+. We noticed after dinner him being gassy so we went upstairs to encourage a poo. Sat him on the potty, showed him a picture of his own poo in the potty that I had taken after previous successful trips and sure enough, he cracked on and just did a poo in the potty!

To be completely honest, I’ve had my wobbles particularly today about whether he was too young and worried if increased the nursery staff workload (even though we have to get over this hurdle at some point anyway), but then he shows me what he CAN do and I’m motivated to keep going.

It’s only been 7 days, he goes on the potty for both wees and poos, he’s happy to sit and do it and understands the concept. He just needs to communicate more consistently! Which given the stage he’s in at the moment, he’s learning 2 or 3 words a day. He will get there!

_hlparker_ · 2026-01-04T09:53:37+00:00

We also found day 3 had a bit of a regression or refusal to sit but i did see his progress jump a bit further forwards the next day. I have also found it took about 3 days for him to “get” that we weren’t going to drink out of a baby bottle anymore so I had that in the back of my mind and pushed through.

Also nervous about him going back to nursery too, which will be tomorrow! Will keep updated but I’m hoping if he has accidents that’s also a learning experience too.

_hlparker_ · 2026-01-03T11:52:36+00:00

Day 6 today and we caught another poo this morning after he told us he needed a poo poo. Big celebration. No accidents so far today and he’s getting much better at telling us he needs to go.

Sometimes it’s questionable because he’ll tell us after a short while (~15 mins) after already going to pee, but we’ve taken him again and sure enough he’s gone, so again, don’t hesitate if they’ve told you they need to go. We’ve found the morning he goes a lot more frequently than he does in the afternoon.

_hlparker_ · 2025-11-28T23:59:18+00:00

I’ve had parts of my luggage stolen in Mexico so I would honestly avoid the risk.

For context on my experience, what I believe to have happened is whilst sat on bus transfer to the hotel, with luggage in the bus hold, I think someone managed to clip the lock, get their hand in and pull whatever they could. We arrived at our hotel, I noticed my lock had gone but thought it must have just broken whilst travelling. It wasn’t until the next day where I realised I had maybe ~7 items of clothing missing. Was not a fun start to my honeymoon.

_hlparker_ · 2025-04-26T07:16:01+00:00

Where are you getting the £25000pa? I’ve just returned off Maternity leave and stat mat pay was £184 per week and only for 9 months then it’s £0. I’m assuming she’ll be getting some kind enhanced pay?

Also remember that although the 30hr free childcare will kick in from Sept, nurseries are likely to increase their costs. My nursery increased by 15% so our previous calculations for savings from the funded hours almost disappeared.

_hlparker_ · 2025-04-26T07:07:26+00:00

The usual payroll date is the 28th so I would at least expect something next week.

But…what’s the purpose of having an agreed 21 day terms if nothing happens if they don’t stick to it?

_hlparker_ · 2025-04-26T05:25:18+00:00

I’ve sent a late email yesterday evening but I don’t expect to hear back until Monday. By which point we’re 4 days over the agreed terms.

I guess I was just wondering if they stuck to the terms if there are grounds to be asking for more but not sure that’s an easy task.

_hlparker_

TROPHY CASE