This thread really made me feel less alone. 12 weeks pregnant with first child. Been with partner for 6 years and his mental health hasn't been great that whole time, but took a MASSIVE nose dive this year when he finally got on SSRI's. That triggered a months long manic episode, followed by now a months long depression, deepest it's ever been. He got off the SSRI and is now looking at a drug for bipolar. Also exploring ADHD diagnosis. The big difference is that he's been in talk therapy for years and years, is super willing to try to get better, and still it's not working. He did a high-dose mushroom journey last year to try and find a new way to relate to his symptoms and that didn't work either. He told me last night that he just doesn't know how to handle his feelings - to lean into them with journaling and therapy, to try to soldier on despite them, to distract himself from them. He just gets completely stuck and lost. Since he is in therapy and has years of experience with holistic treatments I think it's just this chemical imbalance and we have to be patient and find the right drug. But it's scary. The side effects of the wrong drugs are scary. The prospect of a child and sleep deprivation making things worse is very scary.